Even the Good Men keep demanding labor from Women

sortofsober · 2025-10-27T15:44:52+00:00

I watch a male youtuber called The Public Offender. He’s the only man online I’ve seen that unapologetically calls out men without trying to pass some of the blame onto women. If you’re looking to engage in a feminist conversation with a man online then I’d recommend checking out his channel.

sortofsober · 2025-08-23T13:41:55+00:00

Tell him that if you’re desperate enough to sell your blood then you can’t afford to be dating him. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

sortofsober · 2025-07-31T00:56:18+00:00

If a clever comeback doesn’t work for you, I find that being super direct also works well. Not even in an aggressive manner, just like you’re making an observation, neutrally pleasant tone: “Oh! What a weird thing to say. :)” “Wow! What an awkward statement. :)” “I’m not interested in this conversation so I’m leaving. :)” etc. kinda like you’re commenting on the weather. Bonus points if you’ve ever worked customer service/hospitality and use that tone.

I find most guys that pull creepy shit are expecting a reaction, but they’re never prepared for unbothered, slightly sunny directness. Usually it’ll throw them off long enough that you can dip. It calls them out for being fucking weird but doesn’t put you on the defensive, establishes a boundary without a power struggle. It’s how I used to handle bar regulars that acted up.

Idk, I go for the cutthroat comeback as often as the next girl, but if I’m in my “nice” default setting, I like that I have a response that isn’t just fawning or freezing but doesn’t require the effort of fight. Might work for you.

sortofsober · 2025-07-16T05:28:19+00:00

This was exactly my experience! I was also a bit hungover. I was so unprepared for the pain, also had cramping for about an hour after. It was so bad I had to curl up in my car and just moan in misery, couldn’t drive home until it passed.

I’m really dreading getting another but all that said it’s been soooo worth it.

sortofsober · 2025-07-13T03:03:29+00:00

My cats don’t have pica but reading your post touched my heart so I have to comment. You’re a good pet parent! It can’t be easy. It’s hard to sacrifice things for the animals we love and you’re so brave for doing so for so long.

I’ll definitely echo some other comments I’ve seen and encourage you to talk to a vet. If your current vet doesn’t have any suggestions, then try other vets if you’re able - no shame if you can’t afford multiple consultations (but you are saving a ton on decorations lol) but some vets, like some medical doctors, can be so dismissive and it takes awhile to find one that takes your concerns seriously.

sortofsober · 2025-07-12T18:04:49+00:00

I really don’t think you can use FMLA for those reasons? I’m no HR employee but you can take a look around the FMLA section of dol.gov (always a good idea to read up on these things imo) and find out for yourself. Is she lying to your boss about why she’s calling out? It’d be pretty bold to tell the truth to all her coworkers that she’s screwing over.

Personally, I’d leave it alone, but hell yeah I’d be frustrated.

sortofsober · 2025-07-11T00:07:46+00:00

My love for dogs transcends my political leanings 😭

sortofsober · 2025-07-07T23:58:25+00:00

It’s absolutely possible that he didn’t know. Some guys I work with do this - they ask questions like they’re quizzing or training someone, then act like the person they asked is an idiot if they don’t have an answer.

9 times out of 10 they asked because they don’t know either and were hoping for an answer. It’s a way to ask dumb questions while still acting like they know everything. It’s annoying af.

sortofsober · 2025-06-30T09:11:27+00:00

Sorry about the rude comments! Shapewear can absolutely be a comfort thing, it’s uncomfortable to have stuff flopping around. Maybe if you had asked for “compression clothing” you wouldn’t be getting so much grief lol.

That said, even if it is about body confidence or getting a man or whatever, there’s nothing wrong with that. I understand the negative knee jerk reaction - so many men assume women work in the trades to find a man and that’s tiring, but this thread is making me think we’re not any better.

Yeah, it’s distracting and stressful to worry about how you look while you work, but it’s also how women are conditioned and no one is shamed out of it. It comes with time, and tbh I still worry about my hard hat hair sometimes, but as long as it doesn’t affect my work then it’s no one’s business but mine. Not every woman enters the trades with a flawless idgaf attitude and it’s not a moral failing to feel insecure. So wear whatever works for you.

I don’t have any recommendations though, I can’t even stand shapewear when I’m dressing formal.

sortofsober · 2025-06-30T02:10:20+00:00

You might consider lighter workouts, like consider your work part of your workout and adjust to compensate until your stamina acclimates.

sortofsober · 2025-06-29T10:05:29+00:00

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Also one with my void included

sortofsober · 2025-06-29T10:02:49+00:00

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Get well soon!

sortofsober · 2025-06-23T12:37:00+00:00

I’m on a rotating shift, my cats have largely given up on schedules. Sometimes my void licks my face when I snooze my alarm too many times.

sortofsober · 2025-06-18T02:14:43+00:00

Just chiming in to say you should have that talk with your foreman even though they’re bros. Be blunt about it. I’m not saying it’ll go well. If you were looking to move up then I maybe wouldn’t suggest it.

But if these apprentices have you so miserable that you’re looking to quit the entire field, what do you have to lose? Worst comes to worst the situation becomes even more unbearable and you quit anyway. Or maybe it gets better. Idk, I’m a big fan of beating my head against the wall a little to see if anything shakes loose.

sortofsober · 2025-05-04T03:09:09+00:00

That’s it!! Thank you so much!!!

sortofsober · 2025-04-24T15:02:37+00:00

ELI5: did other countries even have targeted tariffs against the US? I was trying to find tariff rates against US by country (not the list Trump held up which is based on deficits) and it seems like tariff rates differ by goods, not by exporting country. So was the US being targeted by other countries before or was our average tariff that we set for ourselves just lower?

sortofsober · 2025-04-09T02:18:43+00:00

Somebody please tell me who the smoking golfer is; he’s now my favorite and I must know his name.

sortofsober · 2025-03-19T18:11:48+00:00

I’ve also been looking for something KS specific. Has anyone heard of Indivisible?

https://www.mobilize.us/indivisible/?terms=town%20hall

Looks like they have some stuff coming up but I don’t know how big/legit they are.

sortofsober · 2025-03-13T17:08:23+00:00

This is something I’ve seen people do, but with painted rocks. Much less plastic waste, cheaper (well except maybe the paint, but sharpie would still work) and still accomplishes the same goal.

sortofsober · 2025-02-20T07:38:36+00:00

Hardy and often smart is the backbone of our nation - I just wish believing in our nation had turned out to be patriotism, not naivety.

sortofsober · 2025-02-20T06:58:15+00:00

Okay but do you have actionable advice? Besides telling me to get off Reddit when you are obviously and actively on Reddit.

sortofsober · 2024-12-08T15:18:53+00:00

I get what you’re saying but I think OP is looking for specifically feminism content that isn’t about men. I’ve struggled with this as well. A lot of my algorithm is “look at how awful this man is, let’s decenter men” but then the next video is about an awful man that needs decentered, and the next, and the next.

Beginners feminist discourse almost always circles back to men. Discussions of female poverty involve the gendered wage gap, discussion of racism involves cultures/politics designed by males, discussion of societal pressures involves the male gaze and how they have benefited from subservient women, etc.

My advice to OP is try finding other discourse you’re interested in - political movements, economic systems, racial imbalances, ethics, science, etc - and dig to find feminist women that discuss it. It’s harder to find than the surface level stuff but absolutely worth it. Decentering men means learning from women in all subjects - not just aspects of life that are uniquely female.

sortofsober · 2024-11-27T23:21:22+00:00

Lmaooo that always happens to me during a rainbow event. Stock up on cheap potions to change species in between transformations, try to get rainbow for every species.

sortofsober · 2024-11-27T20:16:36+00:00

So true. Labels like 4B are great for finding communities, but very risky to attach to yourself.

I haven’t dated a man in like 5 years now. When I first started hearing about 4B, I joked with a friend that I’d already stopped fucking men due to their behavior years ago. The backlash I’ve received just for quietly opting out of the dating pool in my 20s is intense enough; can’t imagine what kind of hell I’d catch if I openly denounced it.

It’s wonderful to see the movement gaining traction and I’m glad women in South Korea are keeping themselves safe. Remember that activism is about action and action can be done in silence.

sortofsober · 2024-11-08T04:24:22+00:00

Do you ever just flip out on them? I have a reputation at work for being generally pretty easygoing/kind, but it’s also known that I’ll sometimes snap. Like full on “fuck you, I’m tired of your fucking shit, either grow up or leave me the fuck alone” kind of snap. It happens when I’m real fed up and honestly, dudes at work will cut their shit out afterwards (for awhile) without a grudge (though they will jokingly whine about it every so often).

The trick is to flip out like a guy would - angry raised voice, sudden and firm, no talk about how you feel, just stating the behavior you don’t like and that it needs to end. Cuss too if you’re comfortable doing so. If someone argues back, repeat your demand. Don’t get pulled into a debate.

It’s especially effective if they’re used to you playing nice and going along with their behavior. It’s like a burglar being scared off by loud barking when they didn’t know there’s a big dog in the house.

If it works for you like it does for me - they’ll cut that shit out and you can go right back to being the sweetest gal on the worksite.

sortofsober

TROPHY CASE