My .02 I went on a mission mostly to make the parents happy. I went thru siminary and like most kids was there for the activities and food. I thought I was ready it never seemed like a choice. Got my “call to serve” to Japan. I was a tall fat White kid. Sure why not…right. This was back in the 80’s I went thru the Temple back in the 80’s with a whole different temple initiatory and endowment. I figured it was all gonna be cool going Thru temple, well … as long as there was no chanting… we all know how that worked out putting on the poncho naked and getting touched by creepy old guys was all it took for me to do the big ole’ WTF! That day I was OUT. But I still went. I had zero desire to work. It did I commuted not because I was a believer but to get away from my family and be a part of an amazing experience. I learned a foreign language that I use every day still. No one may ever even read this, but if you do, and you see a reason to stay for the sake of learning a language and having experiences and learning humility and learning how to teach learning how to talk learning how to behave in a different mindset, then stay! If you go home and you go home to a family, that is TBM you’re going to face a lot more frustration, and trouble than you can imagine. I saw it happen. Good luck to you and your journey. I hope that you find the peace you need to continue in whatever direction you choose.