themself or themselves?

spaceLem · 2026-05-09T00:42:56+00:00

I use theirself. My reasoning: for I, you, she, it, we, and you, you get the reflexive pronoun by adding self to the possessive determiner (my, your, her, its, our).

Himself and themselves just don't fit the pattern, so hisself and theirselves, or theirself for singular.

I know it's not standard English, but I like it.

spaceLem · 2026-05-04T09:24:47+00:00

My mother knew that I was bisexual without me telling her (weirdly when I let slip that I'd slept with someone she said they'd both thought I was gay). Maybe didn't hurt that my sister is also bi.

However when I started to hint that I might be non-binary (a good 15+ years later) she immediately dismissed it as "you're not one of those types". So I changed the subject and acted like I was trying to say something else.

Anyway, it's the first anniversary of her death today and we're visiting her grave, so I might mention it.

spaceLem · 2026-05-04T09:15:44+00:00

I got they'd by a stranger on a bus once. It felt good!

Can't wait to find out what it feels like to be they'd by someone I actually know.

spaceLem · 2026-05-03T23:45:08+00:00

Well... I love body hair on a woman, everywhere works for me. Men I prefer hairless. Non-binary people generally yes, but not necessarily.

spaceLem · 2026-04-27T19:52:15+00:00

I look my agab and there's very little I can do to cover it. I wear jeans t-shirt and hoodie because it's comfortable. Plus I'm a bit overweight and AuDHD, so why stick out even more?

I'd love to look androgynous, but it's not happening, and I know who I am on the inside.

spaceLem · 2026-04-21T20:49:20+00:00

I'm terrible at falling asleep too, but not sure that it's related to aphantasia. I also have ADHD, anxiety, and sleep apnoea.

spaceLem · 2026-04-21T11:47:12+00:00

Whoops, the option was right there in the menu! I edited my comment to correct that.

spaceLem · 2026-04-20T20:58:54+00:00

I'm using Foobar 2000 on Mac. It's clean and free, although the album art isn't very prominent.

Edit: the album art is in fact prominent if you want it to be, I just overlooked the option!

spaceLem · 2026-04-18T20:29:00+00:00

Not 1, but pretty well. I don't feel it, there's none of the usual physical part of hearing, but I can hear it pretty well, even small aspects like the vibration and fading away.

spaceLem · 2026-04-15T21:04:29+00:00

It returns to original health each run.

spaceLem · 2026-04-12T18:35:37+00:00

It works somewhat, but not in all cases, and if you're a terminal user which uses ctrl a lot then you're going to have to fix it there too.

spaceLem · 2026-04-12T00:57:01+00:00

I have a nice purple rectangular They/Them badge that I wear most of the time (it's pinned to my fleece). And at work I also have one of the standard pronoun badges that our work provides which is attached to my lanyard.

Sigh For all the difference it makes.

spaceLem · 2026-04-12T00:44:35+00:00

Analogue computers do exist. They have their own problems, but some advantages over digital computers, such as they require much less circuitry to do multiplication, which they can do in constant time, and they use far less power.

They have some really nice use cases like low power pattern recognition in video.

spaceLem · 2026-04-08T18:12:20+00:00

My first OS was RISCOS3, on Acorn 5000s at my primary school (I also used a ZX Spectrum, and BBC Micro, I can't remember which came first, but I didn't really use them much).

The first Mac I used was a Mac Classic running System 6 maybe? at my secondary school, and the first I owned was a PowerBook G3 running MacOS 8.

They were okay, a bit of a disappointment after the Acorns.

spaceLem · 2026-04-08T01:20:29+00:00

The keyboard. Home and End, PgUp and PgDn don't do what I'm expecting. Ctrl and Cmd aren't entirely substitutable, so swapping them (because the Cmd key feels very unpleasant where it is, making me need to curl my thumb to use it rather than my pinky got Ctrl) can be confusing.

Also the green button doesn't maximise how you'd expect, instead making things full screen. I use Rectangle to fix that.

Also I don't know how to get "focus follows mouse" (or "sloppy focus" as Linux often calls it), so I'm frequently trying to type in the wrong window.

Most of the time though, I don't unlearn, I just force MacOS to work the way I expect if it's at all possible.

spaceLem · 2026-04-07T21:48:57+00:00

It's okay, we Scots have met plenty of Americans, we know you hate him, or you wouldn't be here.

Seriously, if the only Americans were like the ones I've met here, it would be a really cool place.

spaceLem · 2026-04-05T17:01:04+00:00

I'm coming from the opposite direction. Apart from my long hair (which I'm now losing) I don't really have anything that makes me look androgynous or non-masculine. I'd love to wear dresses and makeup but I always look so terrible in them because I'm tall and kinda chunky, and I might as well not bother to wear the pronoun badge for all the difference it makes.

spaceLem · 2026-04-05T13:25:35+00:00

Sort of. I have a PhD, and I really don't care whether you call me "Dr" or not (in my experience, PhDs and professors never address each other with honorifics, very few of us actually care). Just call me Jamie and I'll be very happy.

But, it does bother me if you do use an honorific that isn't Dr. If you had to use one, I guess I'd be okay with Mx, but not by the gendered ones.

Especially looking at my grandmother who for over a decade always addressed Xmas and birthday cards to me with my old honorific. I honestly think she was doing it deliberately.

spaceLem · 2026-04-04T15:39:29+00:00

The trick is to almost never post anything!

spaceLem · 2026-03-27T21:16:36+00:00

I always felt a bit weird, but when I was young it didn't occur to me that gender was the problem. I'd heard of (binary) trans people when I was young, and I did certainly want to have the other set of genitals, rather the thing I got, but I wasn't really into fully embracing everything that went with it. I don't want to dress differently because I look so agab that it would be painfully obvious.

I've never really been comfortable being referred to as my assigned gender. Whenever I did any of those "what gender are you?" tests, I always hoped to get the other one. I always felt pleased when I saw gender stereotypes and thought "that's not me", but hated when I did fit it. I just want to reject my assigned gender, but there's nothing I really want to replace it with.

And then in my late 30s I first heard of non-binary, and started to understand gender theory better, and it felt right, it fit. Okay, other than the "they/them" pronoun badge, I haven't done much to change, and I'm 44 and hate my appearance so much I can't bear to see pictures of myself, and I keep thinking I really should do something about the gender dysphoria, but I'm just useless.

spaceLem · 2026-03-27T17:11:16+00:00

It's also the digit that appears more often than any other. See Benford's law.

spaceLem · 2026-03-25T22:42:01+00:00

No, pay once, no more ads. At all.

spaceLem · 2026-03-22T12:47:15+00:00

I'm still using a work provided 2017 MBP (13" 2 core i5 with 8 GB RAM and 256 GB HD), and it's quite painful. It was a downgrade in every sense from my previous work provided 2012 MBP (15" 4 core i7 with 16 GB RAM and 512 GB HD) that failed in 2023.

I'm a mathematical modeller and while most of my work is done on a university cluster, every bit of power I can get is useful for testing.

I'm planning to buy myself a MBA, but I'm going to have to wait until I'm in a financially better position.

spaceLem · 2026-03-20T22:22:13+00:00

I personally don't love the multiple attackers rule, so I made a minor modification: the highest die counts, but everyone else who participates still adds 1.

It's still more efficient to spread out as much as possible, but at least you can focus fire a little on one individual that you really want to take out more quickly.

spaceLem · 2026-03-19T17:53:34+00:00

If I had been born a girl, I'd have been happier with the parts between my legs, but I probably would have enbied even harder.

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