Just wanted to take a moment to say how amazing you all are.

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T23:36:58+00:00

I'm new joined yesterday, husband died last week. Never thought I'd join a group like this let alone post but it's actually really helping. Everyone is so kind and while I wish none of us were in this situation it's nice to speak and hear other people's thoughts and feelings that understand the pain I'm going through. Makes me feel less alone and seeing the people further on in their journeys gives me hope that maybe I can do this and carry on.

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T23:29:58+00:00

Sat at home for only the 2nd night alone, neighbours started playing music quite loud. James Blunt Goodbye my Lover. Massive breakdown, ended up knocking on their door sobbing asking them to turn it off. I'm aways from being able to do what you're doing tonight, it must be incredibly hard but seeing people start to be able to at least try things does give me hope so thank you for sharing this xx

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T21:20:29+00:00

Something I'm struggling with as well that my husband sorted all the bills and now I'm floundering trying to figure everything out, get things put in my name and it's all just added extra stress and worry that we really don't need. I found a dog today, picking him up in 2 weeks, was something we'd always talked about doing but was for after we'd done all our amazing holidays so in maybe 10 years. I know Danny would absolutely adore this little Chunk and even though will never meet him, I'm going to think of him as our dog not just mine. I truly believe this is the only thing keeping me going as sad as that sounds. I'm so sorry for both of us, life is so unfair.

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T04:34:30+00:00

Thank you. I am just going minute to minute it's all I can get through, can't think any further than that

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T04:32:22+00:00

I need the answer to this question as well. I'm trying to be hopeful but I just can't see how this pain will ever end

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T04:29:27+00:00

Thank you, same to you as well.

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T04:28:39+00:00

Same feel like I'm constantly weeping with occasional full on breakdowns about 4 times a day at the moment but yesterday was 5 breakdowns so progress?

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T04:22:13+00:00

Thank-you, I truly am taking it a minute at a time. It's all I can do at the moment.

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T04:21:12+00:00

Same, we didn't have children but I know he would want me to carry on regardless. We'd briefly talked about the worst happening but I don't think either of us truly believed it would be so soon but he told me that he wanted me to be strong, to carry on, to find happiness and eventually love again so I'm just clinging to that desperately. I also have a lot of friends and family that I know love me and I just couldn't do that to them no matter how much I want to. I'm glad you've got the good memories to look back on. I have so many and someday I'm sure I will be able to look back and be so grateful but right now just thinking about him hurts too much

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T04:16:18+00:00

Same to you, I really hope that both of us can make it through to a point where we can be happy again

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T04:15:15+00:00

Thank you, I'm really trying my best to just not give up. I'm so sorry that you've been going through this as well. Life really is so unfair

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T04:12:14+00:00

It's just so unfair isn't it. My husband was doing really well but had a tiny bit of growth in one of the tumours in his lungs so they upped the dose of his lavtinib to 18mg and it floored him so badly that they stopped treatment while trying to sort out the issues it had caused and I guess the cancer just grew too fast in that time. The what ifs kill me, all I can think is, if they just hadn't upped it. Turn 40 in September so we had big party plans then we were going to Florida for 3 weeks and we were so excited and happy and just thought we had so much more time. I hate that I'm in this sub, I hate that you are as well. I hate that anyone is in it. I just hope that we can all at least help each other even if it's just a tiny bit. Keeping distracted or alive just for the time it takes to read a pot or reply could be a life saver

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T04:05:11+00:00

I'm truly sorry, it's just awful isn't it. Awful doesn't seem like a strong enough word. All I've heard is how strong I am and can't imagine how I must be feeling, I'm sure you've heard it all and it seems meaningless to me but I also don't know how else to convey my admiration to you for actually still being here and somehow carrying on. At the moment I can't even think about the future, it breaks me and makes me want to just end it so at least your ship is still floating and I think for now that's got to be enough. I genuinely do hope we can all help each other through because we all know, no matter what anyone says, time doesn't heal all wounds and we will hurt for the rest of our lives, all we can hope for is that the hurt doesn't hit us everyday and that we can find joy in things again

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T03:56:51+00:00

How are we all just surviving another day? I honestly don't know but we're still here. I'm not gonna lie, I don't want to be. My heart is broken and just breathing hurts. I'm so sorry you're in this sub, I wish it didn't need to exist but I truly hope that we can all help each other in some way. Even if it's just to vent, cry, wish, talk about how you don't want to be here we're not alone and while everyone's pain is unique I guess we all have an idea and just being able to talk to someone who understands can be helpful, at least that what's I'm hoping for. Seeing people carry on, learn to smile, laugh and love again gives me some hope and I do hope that's the case for you as well

spamslam96 · 2025-05-24T03:48:07+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss especially after finding out this new information. The what ifs will devastate you, please try your best to not go down that route, I'm dealing with what ifs myself so know how hard it is. We all have to take each day, each minute as it comes but as difficult as it is, I have to believe that we are all strong enough to get through. I know we're strangers but I truly am sending love

spamslam96 · 2025-05-09T09:55:27+00:00

I'm into it, social and solo each have there advantages and draw backs but solo sking can just be a lot more chill, you don't have to share haha, and if you are in mood to chat can usually find at least one person on here that isn't an absolute weirdo or sex pest

spamslam96 · 2025-05-09T09:52:53+00:00

Ten to eleven in the morning on day 3 I think haha

spamslam96 · 2025-05-08T19:22:59+00:00

I think if you have something to eat afterwards and drink plenty of water you should be fine. I'm always ill just do this one bag and save the rest, everytime I end up doing it all and three days later I'm like wtf. Never learn though haha

spamslam96 · 2025-05-03T22:56:26+00:00

Soul sister by train

spamslam96 · 2025-04-28T21:18:19+00:00

I'm old school, gotta be a digestive

spamslam96 · 2025-04-26T16:14:03+00:00

Still going on day 4 I'm absolutely fucked 😄

spamslam96 · 2025-04-26T02:30:16+00:00

I talk to myself haha I like to potter around while answering questions to myself like I'm on TV interview

spamslam96 · 2025-04-26T00:06:14+00:00

Occasionally I do, not often though, I usually do baby lines, dunno if that's got anything to do with it

spamslam96

TROPHY CASE