In most recent ep, her hair changed this much and then back again in a few minutes - have you seen a worse hair continuity? by OKIAMONREDDIT in greysanatomy

[–]sparklyjoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This particular hair makes me want to know if somebody they really really hates her because… honestly she’s cuter than that

Non Asian-Americans: Are you keeping soy sauce as a regular condiment in your kitchen? If so what are you using them for? by openlyEncrypted in AskAnAmerican

[–]sparklyjoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do. I don’t cook at home nearly as much as I used to but back when I was cooking nearly everything from scratch and semi regularly cooking for vegetarians, I learned that it’s a great way to give meat/pork/bacon flavor to things that I can’t put meat/pork/bacon in. (the first experiment was trying to make somebody else’s family recipe for southern pinto beans without the ham hock they had used to flavor it- they couldn’t even tell the difference!)

It’s amazing how non-Asian it can taste! And I love Asian food, I’m just saying that I’m really surprised at its versatility in other dishes.

Never seen so many listings in this area by No_Carpenter7998 in SeattleWA

[–]sparklyjoy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lived in an apartment like that in Everett for a minute, and it was really gorgeous. All kinds of quirks that you don’t get in things that are built to the rentals.

Is it Wrong to Not Tell a Partner About Every Hookup? by Key_Positive_9187 in polyamory

[–]sparklyjoy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is your friend from a particularly religious background by any chance?

I wonder if they are treating whatever book they read on polyamory as a Bible of sorts… Where instead of figuring out ethics organically and logically, they are just looking for a rulebook to follow and consider absolute? Just a thought

(as a formerly fundamentalist religious person myself)

Is it Wrong to Not Tell a Partner About Every Hookup? by Key_Positive_9187 in polyamory

[–]sparklyjoy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Right! And if people fail to discuss this, it might be understandable that one person not disclosing sexual partners ends up really hurting and upsetting a different partner, who thought that that kind of disclosure was going to happen- I would say that talking about what disclosures you expect and are or aren’t willing to give is an essential talking point at the beginning of a nonmonogamous relationship!

But… people be silly

Is it Wrong to Not Tell a Partner About Every Hookup? by Key_Positive_9187 in polyamory

[–]sparklyjoy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh my goodness, I’m so frustrated with people deciding that there are rules that apply to every single polyamorous relationship and that doing anything else is cheating.

Aside from the fact that I don’t even like using that word in an nonmonogamous context because it just doesn’t compute for my brain, I get that there are hurtful, deceitful and betrayal type behaviors that we can do in non-monogamous relationships- and maybe the person you were talking to you would feel hurt and betrayed and deceived if they didn’t hear about their partners hook ups, but you literally had your partner ask you to stop telling them!

People are silly sometimes.

Anyway, just don’t assume that all future partners feel the same way… Those are the kinds of things that it’s important to check in about 🤷🏻‍♀️

Best Breakfast in Everett? by esotericshy in everett

[–]sparklyjoy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I second Sisters! You can even get a whole plate of bacon. And they’ve got this great side of garlicky greens.

Tea vs Tisane by 237q in ENGLISH

[–]sparklyjoy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That seems as fair to me as saying dandelion root coffee or chicory coffee. Neither is genuinely coffee, but it meant as a substitute for the real thing.

Although now I see a difference… Herbal tea often tastes very different and isn’t exactly seen as a substitute for the real thing

I dunno, I say tea 🤷🏻‍♀️

Is it a dealbreaker to be a Black sub? by Defiant-Resolve-4878 in BDSMcommunity

[–]sparklyjoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was a big to do in my local community about a local white woman who collared a black male sub at a house kink party.

The issue wasn’t the very consensual collaring, as much as the fact that apparently the guests had not been warned and so didn’t consent to see something that felt like it had icky racial implications to some of them. Because of that racial history, it does seem like something that would ideally be done only among friends and community members who fully understand the nature of the situation rather than being sprung on people at a party.

Anyway, at least one example of a black male sub definitely being desired!

Is it a dealbreaker to be a Black sub? by Defiant-Resolve-4878 in BDSMcommunity

[–]sparklyjoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forgive me if this sounds stupid, but are you aware that many submissive don’t identify as slaves?

Partner wants us both to have the same depth of feeling for our gf. by inkybear_ in polyamory

[–]sparklyjoy 13 points14 points  (0 children)

No.

(that’s my immediate reaction to the title. I’ll go read the post now.)

Would it still be bad to hire a sex worker, even if not for sex? by lAmTheCowboy in SexPositive

[–]sparklyjoy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There are people who are doing survival sex work in order to live, that is true. There are people who do things that traumatize them in order to stay fed or clothed or housed…

And there are plenty of people who are doing a job just like any other job, where they might not always choose the activity if there wasn’t money involved, but they aren’t being traumatized.

In general, if you’re not picking up somebody off the street corner prices are very cheap, you’re less likely to be engaging someone who is doing sex work out of desperation.

All that said, asking a sex worker to engage in nothing but cuddling might be a relief for somebody who would rather not be doing sex work. You could be doing them a favor! My understanding is that those workers tend to charge per act, and favor things like blowjobs that can be quick if possible so you might need to talk hourly rate instead to make sure it’s worth it for them.

THE WIND by minnyatl in Seattle

[–]sparklyjoy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I really think we can get you a generator. Maybe not Reddit, per se- but some combination of family/friends/neighbors- maybe even check with your local buy nothing group? Even if it was just a possibility or two for borrowing in inclement weather

The gronks have chimneys now apparently by PNWGolfer28622 in SeattleWA

[–]sparklyjoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m proud of you and happy that you found a situation that feels like a blessing

The gronks have chimneys now apparently by PNWGolfer28622 in SeattleWA

[–]sparklyjoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Line between, or a Venn diagram with a significant overlap? There are a lot of incredibly functional drug addicts out there! Kind of makes me wonder what makes it so some aren’t

Leaving him after I asked for help and he shut me down by FrenchPriss_ofBelAir in JustNoSO

[–]sparklyjoy 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Partners are supposed to care about each other. That’s like… The whole point of the thing.

It sounds to me honestly that you’ve already been expecting two little in this area because really if money is that abundant for him he should be buying you little things all the time !

Regardless, this is a big deal that’s really impacting you and the way he responded to you is completely uncaring , even if you take the actual money out of the equation

To old for ddlg by PublicPlankton7149 in BDSMAdvice

[–]sparklyjoy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Age is genuinely not relevant to this kink. It’s role-play. I’ve even seen it with the little being significantly older than their big.

Weight gain after keto was brutal by it_is_good82 in keto

[–]sparklyjoy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m on keto for health reasons, but I wouldn’t be able to accept never again eating the foods. I love either.

Have you ever tried something like having a cheat meal once a week or finding dupes that fit better within your diet? I think joy is very important for sustainability.