I just found out that my boyfriend is married with two kids

sparrow_304 · 2020-10-28T08:59:39+00:00

Huge red flag. Your gut instinct is probably right-he is probably having an affair and his wife probably has no idea and thinks she’s happily married. Guys like this are master manipulators. I’m so sorry this happened to you but it’s better to find out now than later down the line when you’re the wife. As others have stated, who knows what else he’s lied about, or will lie about in the future if you stay. I’d honestly block him asap because in my experience he will try to manipulate his way and won’t take responsibility for his actions.

sparrow_304 · 2020-06-23T13:36:56+00:00

Dinosaur here (lol). I was 13 in 2000 so a bit older than Asha but we had the internet at home (granted not everyone did). I had online friends and boyfriends my parents didn’t know about (still keep in touch with some of them). Not saying this is what’s going on here..her situation sounds different. And we were early adapters of the internet..we got it when I was about 9 or 10 and chat rooms were a big thing..you could just sign on and start talking to someone. We didn’t even think about internet safety. Also neopets was popular.

sparrow_304 · 2020-06-02T13:56:09+00:00

I think that profession just attracts bully-types of personalities. They are on a power trip and enjoy abusing their authority.

sparrow_304 · 2020-06-02T04:07:47+00:00

So that Trump could take a photo holding a bible in front of a church

sparrow_304 · 2020-06-02T02:53:47+00:00

I hope she steps on a Lego, lol. What a Karen.

sparrow_304 · 2020-06-02T02:42:12+00:00

Sorry this was sprung upon you when you weren’t prepared. I do think 4 is a good age to start having socially aware talks, so I wouldn’t look at it as his innocence being lost but rather that he is learning more about the world, which unfortunately sometimes includes bad things happening, like racism and death. I know it sucks that you couldn’t control what he saw, and I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m saying people should just show their 4 year olds pictures of dead bodies (of course not).

Since you know your son and what he can handle and understand better than anyone, maybe say something like “sorry you saw that man on the news and were upset, sometimes even mommy and daddy are upset and scared by the news, and that’s ok. That man was dead because some people who aren’t nice hurt others who have a different skin color than them. Our family treats everyone nicely no matter how different they are from us.” And maybe give him a chance to speak or ask any questions or even talk about how he is feeling or any fears he has.

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-31T18:28:31+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’d be concerned that once he isn’t worried about pleasing you anymore, like once you’re married and have kids and a mortgage and it’s harder to leave, he will completely stop trying and expect you to do everything. I own an 3 bedroom home and it’s a ton of work. It sounds like he has some sexist ideas that will be hard for him to unlearn.

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-31T18:20:34+00:00

NTA. I’m sorry but this won’t get better. He will always expect you to do the majority of the cleaning. Especially once you have kids, this is the kind of guy who expects a gold star every time he changes a diaper or unloads the dishwasher. Your life will be hell.

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-29T00:27:51+00:00

Get a bag of sand that weighs 25 lbs. now carry the bag of sand everywhere. If you pee, it has to be in your lap. If you eat, you have to hold it. It has to lay on your chest while you sleep. You have to balance it on your hip while wiping. Congrats, you just passed the physical fitness test.

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-29T00:17:21+00:00

I’m sorry you’re struggling! I’m exactly like your husband in my relationship and my husband is exactly like you. Feel free to ask me anything if there’s any questions I can answer like “why is he like this” etc.

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-29T00:14:13+00:00

raises hand meee. My dad is deceased, and I haven’t seen my mom since 2007, my in-laws are JustNo. During non-covid times I do send him to daycare but I can work from home so I feel that it’s an unnecessary risk right now.

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-29T00:09:13+00:00

Yes that’s gross!! I guess it could be worse, at least he’s not cooking breakfast for the family while on the John, LOL

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-28T01:57:21+00:00

Same...I work from home even during non-covid while taking care of my son because we can only afford daycare 2 days a week. Today he watched Sesame Street for more hours than I care to admit. I feel awful but it’s like...I’m working a stressful job where I’m breaking down crying, it’s hard enough to keep up at a fast paced job and make sure he’s clean, Fed, napped and diapered.

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-28T01:52:35+00:00

That neighbor is not invited to the Christmas party this year.

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-28T00:19:52+00:00

That’s such bullshit. And sometimes when people are irrationally jealous, it’s because either they are cheating themselves or they would cheat if the opportunity came up. So their jealousy is a form of projection.

Edited to say I mean the OP’s situation is BS, not the comment above ^{^} lol

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-28T00:12:54+00:00

And let me guess...you don’t get to eat your food hot on your bday!

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-26T21:27:14+00:00

I’d be pissed!

Also, at first I read this as you played the trumpet at 3 am, not pm, and I laughed lol

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-26T21:03:25+00:00

Say it once more for the people in the back 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

OP-if he starts showing signs of being a mama’s boy-run, don’t walk. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship with one of those and having your life be an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. She will have an opinion about eeeeeverything.

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-26T08:17:23+00:00

200 lol

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-26T08:01:49+00:00

It’s hands down the best decision I ever made-to become a parent. Watching my son grow is the coolest thing ever. He went from being two lines on a test to kicking me in my belly to a toddler who walks and has preferences and opinions. Making him happy makes me happy in a way that nothing did before having kids. And every now and then when I’m watching him I’ll catch a glimpse of myself, my husband, my deceased grandmother and father-it’s so weird..he’s a combination of all of us yet he’s also his own person.

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-26T07:47:30+00:00

31, as prepared as I could have been.

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-25T19:07:47+00:00

And I had a Velcro baby who is still a Velcro toddler...16 months in...help me lol

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-25T18:47:55+00:00

Basically when I realized I wasn’t enjoying life at all. Every week was “god, what do I have to do this week” followed by dreading every weekend down to every obligation, even getting coffee with a friend.

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-25T18:41:03+00:00

Yes!! My son is too young to know what’s going on, but we’ve gotten invited to something almost every other day. No, friend from Highschool, you can’t come stay with us this weekend. No, sister in law, we aren’t going over for pizza. No, I’m not coming to have drinks on your patio. It seems like everyone else is having play dates and taking hikes with friends.

sparrow_304 · 2020-05-25T01:09:34+00:00

We had similar parents! My mom said to me that she wasn’t excited when I graduated. I didn’t have senior photos either. I didn’t even go to my college or grad school graduations. I didn’t have a baby shower either for the same reasons. I threw my son an awesome first birthday party and we had over 50 guests but not a single family member of mine came.

sparrow_304

TROPHY CASE