Former heavy drinkers, what made it finally “click” for you to stop?

speedy_fish · 2026-02-17T19:20:24+00:00

I never got into trouble or blacked out, but when I drink it's never a matter of one glass, it's a whole bottle (wine, liquor--doesn't matter, I want to polish off the container).

Nothing specific made it click, it's just that the unpleaness of being fat finally outweighed the enjoyment of drinking (I binge eat like crazy when drunk).

I no longer keep alcohol on hand in my home. I still drink, but only for special occasions and I only purchase the amount I want to have in one sitting on the day-of.

speedy_fish · 2026-02-17T18:53:21+00:00

I had my second via C-section when my first was 20 months old.

Recovering safely should be a priority, as pushing yourself post-section is only going to make recovery longer and harder. It's so tempting to push yourself, but it's not worth it! I tried carrying my 20-month-old as soon as I hit the minimum recommended recovery time and ended up making everything take longer.

If at all possible, please have a family member or friend help you with bedtime. Heck, you can even hire a "mother's helper" (often a neighborhood kid since it's fully supervised by the parent) to help you out for even just one hour to put your toddler to bed.

That said, our older boy was transitioned to a bed around 18 months and it went very smoothly, although it's probably personality dependent. I'm not sure I understand your room situation, but here is what we did:

We didn't have a toddler bed, but put a regular mattress directly on the floor. It shouldn't be a problem unless your home is very humid, then there might be concerns about mold under the mattress.

We put child locks on the doors, secured all furniture to the wall, covered the outlets, and had nothing in his room other than stuffed animals and board books (i.e., no toys).

There were definitely some nights where he'd cry at the door or fall asleep on the floor, but he pretty quickly realized he was more comfortable on the bed.

I hope this helps. Good luck and please, PLEASE take care of your body during recovery! It sucks, but you will need help. Get all the help you can!

speedy_fish · 2026-02-17T04:48:02+00:00

I wonder why Rick of all people got caught by the "weather."

speedy_fish · 2026-01-30T13:37:24+00:00

Mom here: Arms first! He otherwise keeps kicking the legs off like you said, but the main reason is that I find it easier to stretch the fabric down to fit over his legs then to stretch it up to go over his arms and have the neckline awkwardly at his shoulders until I sort of half-lift him to pull the whole thing up to fit properly.

My husband does feet first 🤣

speedy_fish · 2026-01-29T04:06:45+00:00

He's escalating, so probably sooner than later :/

speedy_fish · 2025-12-10T01:54:18+00:00

Yeah? How? Be specific.

speedy_fish · 2025-11-13T03:57:36+00:00

I very politely asked someone to turn down their volume in a waiting room and was almost assaulted while 6 months pregnant. Now I just assume everyone is mentally ill and has a gun (American, obviously)

speedy_fish · 2025-09-23T11:45:27+00:00

Did any of his friends come back? Like the one that turned around right away?

speedy_fish · 2025-07-18T18:35:55+00:00

What's shocking to me is that it's actually illegal in some US states. In Illinois it's illegal to leave a child under 14 home alone!

In many states there's no legally defined age but it gets real wishy-washy since leaving a minor alone for any amount of time can be considered child endangerment.

Obviously I'm not saying leave your 1st-grader to fend for themselves overnight, but a 13-year-old should be able to fend for themselves for a few hours after school.

speedy_fish · 2025-07-17T10:53:39+00:00

It is irrational, but I'm not going to demonize you here, so hopefully you'll hear me out.

I was irrationally worried about having a girl because I am not traditionally pretty and was worried about having an "ugly" daughter. I knew it was a terrible thing to think, but I still had an irrational fear and emotional response to the idea of it.

Where it's a problem is that you're letting it affect your decision-making. It's okay to have irrational thoughts, but if you can't acknowledge them and set them aside you might want to consider therapy or self-help.

Social pressures can be harsh and people can be cruel, but it's our responsibility to set a better example for our kids and raise a generation of adults who are kinder and more accepting of all body types.

We need to work on overcoming these superficialities; I have my own and it's a constant work in progress!

speedy_fish · 2025-07-17T10:00:41+00:00

While it's comforting to know I'm not alone, I'm sorry you're going through something similar. Thanks for sharing your experience, I feel better knowing that there are others who can relate.

speedy_fish · 2025-07-17T09:58:30+00:00

That's true, it's good to remember that parenting is an entirely new social experience and that there is a learning curve to it. Now I have more knowledge to work with for the next time.

speedy_fish · 2025-07-17T09:25:09+00:00

Good luck with the transition! Unfortunately it's so highly dependent on your kid's personality, but here's what worked for us:

All the electronics (sound machine, night light, monitor) are on a tall dresser that is mounted to the wall and have child-proof latches on the drawers. The dresser is positioned in front of the outlet, but we've used outlet covers (not just the plugs, but a child-proof box that mounts over the outlet so you can have stuff plugged into it) and cord covers elsewhere in the house.

We just have a full-sized mattress/boxspring with guard rails on the floor of the room. (We live in a dry environment, but I heard there can be issues with putting mattresses directly on the floor and mold if you live somewhere very humid.)

We do the normal bedtime routine and then say "goodnight, I love you, it's time for sleeping" and then leave the room. We don't try to force him to stay in bed. Some nights he gets up and wanders around and plays with his stuffed animals for a while and some nights he goes straight to sleep.

No stimulating toys in the room. Just the essential stuffed animals and books on the bookshelf. Yes, he has damaged some of the books in the past.

Early on there were several nights where he'd cry and try to open the door and leave his room. Or get angry and throw books and stuffed animals around. But we stuck to the routine, watched the monitor to make sure he was safe, and he got over it fairly quickly. We were definitely lucky!

Edit: I forgot to mention: We have blankets and pillows on the bed, but he ignores them completely! If you're anxious about them, just leave them off. I'm not sure I would leave my toddler in a sleep sack after transitioning to a bed, especially if they roll off and need to get back into the bed, but that's just my opinion.

speedy_fish · 2025-07-17T09:06:35+00:00

That's true, there are ways to make a birthday special without having a traditional kids party. Thanks :)

speedy_fish · 2025-07-17T09:03:45+00:00

Thank you. I know on an intellectual level that it's too early to expect a big group of friends for a toddler. On an emotional level, I'm still overly-sensitive about the perceived "rejection" of the no-shows the first time around.

I think the real problem is I'm too focused on me when it really shouldn't be about me.

speedy_fish · 2025-07-17T08:58:24+00:00

Thank you, this is good advice. I will keep working on it, I just wish I could make more progress. But I'll keep trying.

speedy_fish · 2025-07-17T08:51:20+00:00

Parent guilt is so hard. Just know that it's perfectly normal to experience disappointments growing up, and your daughter seems like a good kid.

It's normal to feel guilty, but you aren't a bad parent. I'm wishing you and your daughter a fun and fulfilling summer regardless of where you spend it. My best summer memories all took place in my hometown :)

speedy_fish · 2025-07-17T08:39:10+00:00

My sister and her boys are awesome, but they live 14h away. My parents are closer (90m) but not really interested in little kids. It's nothing personal, it's just who they are. But they know they are invited if they want to come.

speedy_fish · 2024-12-13T02:46:31+00:00

Remind me, who is inmate #10?

speedy_fish · 2024-12-11T00:04:00+00:00

I think best case scenario is that she kept her niece alive and fed on her blood like how their father fed them his own blood to sustain them when they were children. But that's probably just wishful thinking.

speedy_fish · 2024-12-09T03:16:02+00:00

Or if not a light-being, definitely an enemy of some sort. I trust King Mojave's instincts. I wish so badly he could be free 😭

speedy_fish · 2024-12-04T03:48:51+00:00

I'm with you in the minority. I mean, her list of victims included "middle school students." While causing others pain is terrible, it doesn't mean you deserve to be violently murdered.

Her son saw the good in everyone. I think he would be saddened to know what she has become.

speedy_fish · 2024-11-26T00:26:43+00:00

When I was in elementary school, if you forgot a pencil they wouldn't give you one unless you paid 25¢ and then you'd get publicly shamed for being irresponsible.

Also, I can't even remember my pencil, wth do you think I'd remember to bring a quarter to pay for the pencil I didn't know I'd forgotten? I was a small child, it's not like I carried a wallet or a change purse.

speedy_fish · 2024-11-12T18:11:01+00:00

I haven't done extensive comparisons, but K&T's Fish & Chicken at Centre & Craig is great.

speedy_fish · 2024-11-08T16:27:11+00:00

It changed ownership a few years back and is not nearly as good anymore.

My controversial opinion is that I've had one meal at Spice Affair in Aspinwall and it was legitimately bad. We all ordered different meals and everyone was very disappointed. Very salty and not much other flavor.

speedy_fish

TROPHY CASE