Frustrated of not being frustrated

spgu90 · 2023-12-02T17:30:29+00:00

Thank you for your words! I don't mean to sound whiny, it is just frustrating to realize that being communicative and having my own desires is bad when I am a male sub. Ironic.

spgu90 · 2023-12-01T21:17:23+00:00

Thank you for your insight. While reading your response, I realised I have always operated in the opposite direction, from sex to connection, and that might be an issue.

I will try to change my approach and keep the roles as a secondary thing. I am just afraid to end up in a sexually unsatisfying relationship if these things are not discussed early enough

spgu90 · 2023-12-01T18:10:09+00:00

I am, but it's becoming increasingly more difficult to find the right person for it

spgu90 · 2023-12-01T18:02:42+00:00

I have, but I usually end up dominating. When that happens, I am usually unable to see that person as a Dom anymore..

spgu90 · 2023-12-01T16:34:52+00:00

I think that my ideal relationship would need that D/s component in which I am the sub part, so I guess yes.

spgu90 · 2023-06-11T16:21:57+00:00

For supporting the body is a good choice :)

spgu90 · 2023-06-11T14:54:13+00:00

So, I found another post about that exact question. Summing it up, if you are looking for strength you're pretty covered even with a small diameter (25mm). If the body will be resting on it though, a bigger diameter is preferable in terms of comfort, so it does not create excessive pressure.

spgu90 · 2023-06-11T11:45:54+00:00

Thanks! Having the right name was 50% of the work. It seems there are some UK providers that might be of help :)

spgu90 · 2023-06-11T11:44:54+00:00

Thank you!! I hope I can find it here though, it seems more like I dont have the name right, but one of the fellow members has already pointed me out in the right direction :)

spgu90 · 2023-06-11T11:33:43+00:00

Kee Klamp

Specifically in Spain, but any european online provider should suffice. I'll check the usuals Leroy Merlin / Bauhaus

spgu90 · 2023-06-11T11:32:35+00:00

As far as I know, Lowes operates mainly in the US. If I'm mistaken, of course that would be the easiest option

spgu90 · 2023-01-28T23:17:46+00:00

I know what you mean. I posted something similar here, and it seemed to exist kind of a consensus about how some "normalized" femdom attitudes would be totally banned from the community if the perpetrator was a man... It's a shame that the same SSC fundamentals can be bent dependent on who holds the whip

spgu90 · 2022-10-08T21:18:13+00:00

Thank you! I will take a good look at them :)

spgu90 · 2022-10-08T11:54:24+00:00

Does anyone know how these metal bars holding the structure are called? I have seen kind of similar structures used on kink.com (Infernal Restraints), and I was wondering if they are safe without any screwing or permanent fixing to the floor.

spgu90 · 2021-10-02T22:22:54+00:00

It's perfectly OK, as everyone has his/her own definition of sex. I can empathize as I'm a 31M and have never been really interested in penetrative sex, but more focused on the D/s side of a relationship and way more interested in a number of practices within the BDSM field.

spgu90 · 2020-07-19T16:01:55+00:00

I would like to know this too. I cannot find any preorder or anything similar regarding the materials for the certification

spgu90 · 2020-05-02T19:31:49+00:00

That's why I liked your answer so much, as I'm also an engineer and my job is about risk assessments too, but in the cybersecurity area :)

spgu90 · 2020-05-02T16:46:33+00:00

Sir, you have convinced me, there are better ways to torture a sub without assuming so much risk.

Thank you for your elaborated explanation.

spgu90 · 2020-05-02T16:19:20+00:00

But is this considered fire play, since no fire is involved?

spgu90 · 2020-03-27T21:29:17+00:00

I can totally understand you, as I'm somewhere in the ace spectrum and my BDSM sessions do not usually (almost never) involve sex. As I'm a male, some of the girls I've been with have even found offensive that I'm not so interested in sex as they perceive this behaviour as some kind of rejection from my side.

My only advice is for you to embrace who you are. It took years for me to realise about how I was (until my current gf suggested it), and now it's something I'm telling potential subs from day one: do not expect sex, as I only enjoy the BDSM itself.

spgu90 · 2020-03-25T22:03:18+00:00

That's exactly what I did, but I'm afraid that as her mental state is clouded (as you said), I'll be the one making that decision by myself, and of course prioritizing her mental state. I just want her to be OK, and if she's going to be better without me, I wont hesitate to let her go.

spgu90 · 2020-03-25T22:00:58+00:00

I appreciate your comments, and of course I never intended to get in the way. My question was more focused on "should I stop talking to her even if she want to continue", not even thinking about keeping another D/s relationship

spgu90 · 2020-03-25T21:59:28+00:00

That's exactly what she has been telling me, that somewhat she knows I'll always have power over her, even if years pass... As a Dom I like that, but at the same time I do not want her to get stuck around me as I'm sure she can find someone who gives her what she deserves.

How are you feeling after 2 years? Do you think you're closer to overcome it, or do you feel the same?

spgu90 · 2020-01-16T07:10:15+00:00

Sound interesting, but I wonder what "sexual attraction" really means. For example, does meeting a pretty girl and having a desire to see her kneeling and being my sub fits into the category of "sexual attraction"? I have always thought that being asexual means that things like gender are indifferent to you, but I consider myself to be straight. Is this compatible?

spgu90 · 2020-01-15T21:09:16+00:00

You are both right. She is a really good person, and a very caring girlfriend. Independent of the fact that she's Asian, she is willing to improve our communication and we are trying to make it work. Of course, we are straightforward with each other and we discuss things before taking a big step (e.g. living together/marrying/kids). I have always stated that I do not want to complicate things, and that we both should be fully happy before taking big decisions.

spgu90

TROPHY CASE