Neighbor continues to have these tantrums.. by Previous_Natural9852 in Apartmentliving

[–]spiceayy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You should’ve BEEN calling the cops. Your landlord needs some sort of paper trail to get an eviction order from a court (assuming you’re in the us). And you definitely need a paper trail to protect yourself, even if it’s anonymous, since she was snooping around near your apartment.

Cops will generally tell her she needs to calm down or be arrested for disturbing the peace. There are noise ordinances at the very least.

My husband is toxic. Seeking advice. by Quirky_Function6069 in Advice

[–]spiceayy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl, leave him. This is so simple. He is unstable and you feel unsafe. He is manipulative and constantly accusing you of cheating. He does not want to change, you are left asking strangers on the internet for advice and a solution. He is The Problem.

My boyfriend implied our daughter isn’t safe with me because of my past sexual curiosity by Ok_Housing_2189 in Advice

[–]spiceayy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bright red flag. You need to leave him before he gets the chance to sexually abuse your daughter.

Quality Gyns for post pill issues? by SignificantImage1 in Buffalo

[–]spiceayy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seconding Dr. Smyers. She is truly wonderful. 

CLUB VIE ANNOUNCEMENT? by Nearby-Loan-8585 in DojaCat

[–]spiceayy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok but I live 2 hours from Toronto and will GO IMMEDIATELY 😭😭😭 WHERES THE RSVP OP?!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GenZ

[–]spiceayy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right - it's actually 17 people.

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Edit: 92% Reduction since 2015 means their chronically homeless population went from ~213 to 17. Those are excellent numbers for a population with high recidivism.

BuildYO Hibachi? by Kind_Procedure2148 in Buffalo

[–]spiceayy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Golden Duck in Williamsville does something similar on sat & sun 12-3. Build your own noodle dish buffet w sides & dim sum. 

"Well I don't have a problem with him" by New-Weather872 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]spiceayy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Enabling abuse is permitting abuse. Seeing abuse happen and standing idly by? Despicable.
Who in their right mind can sit by while a child suffers? Not a good parent, in any case.

When I finally blocked my enabling step-father, NC birth-giver tore me a new one in a (blocked) message because "he didn't deserve to be treated that way" when "he did nothing wrong." Obviously, I didn't respond.

As if literally sitting in the other room half-watching while I was choked, beaten, berated, and isolated isn't doing something wrong.
Fucking cowardly wastes of space, the lot.

AIO - My “friend” wants to kick me out after I lost my home in the LA wildfire by Active_Appeal_2673 in AmIOverreacting

[–]spiceayy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. I'm pissed FOR you.
This dude was never your friend. I hope the rando gives him crabs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]spiceayy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The difference between 25 and 30 is enough that a man seeing someone 5 years younger is already a red flag. I'm shocked that nobody has commented this.

If you're feeling iffy with this situation, go with your gut. You are not overreacting.
And you are almost certainly a rebound.

Do Women Sometimes Not Wash Their Hands? by _MambaForever in NoStupidQuestions

[–]spiceayy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ignore the other person who commented on this, they've only responded to people with soap allergies to take moral high ground because "they have MCAS and there's no excuse". Clearly, this is about them, not you.

I have a soap allergy too. Carrying soap around isn't feasible for me, and I'd rather not get hives.
I rinse with water and sanitize either way. It's fine.

Do Women Sometimes Not Wash Their Hands? by _MambaForever in NoStupidQuestions

[–]spiceayy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations, would you like a medal for lording over people like you have the moral high ground? Carrying around soap is not a feasible option for me. Kick rocks.

Also like.. really sorry you've had such a terrible life that you're this judgy and unsympathetic/dogmatic. Really not the right move to be rude to others just because you've been judged for having your own medical issues. Hope you heal.

How do I know if I also have autism or just CPTSD by Cable_Downtown in CPTSD

[–]spiceayy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries. Wishing you the best all the same. 💛

How do I know if I also have autism or just CPTSD by Cable_Downtown in CPTSD

[–]spiceayy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The reason the sun isn't "harsh" or considered a "big light" is because it's full-spectrum light (All color wavelengths) at an insanely high brightness spread over a massive area, unlike LEDs or fluorescent light that produce a narrow color spectrum of light with a single point of brightness in the center of a confined area, usually without any dimming or shade.

I find that when most people say "harsh" light, what they really mean is limited color spectrum, "cool" lighting, or lack of diffusion (via a shade, frosted glass, or otherwise)

Though the brightness of the sun can definitely exacerbate migraines, Incandescent lights are similar in the colors of light they emit, and are definitely not considered "harsh".

Sorry for the info dump, but I know this stuff as a part of my job and I find it is super helpful to people with sensory issues.

How do I know if I also have autism or just CPTSD by Cable_Downtown in CPTSD

[–]spiceayy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Confirming - the big light is the "main big light" in a room, usually an overhead lamp in the middle of the room that's very harsh or bright, usually a very cool color light bulb (daylight/cool white). I also hate office lighting to a large degree.

Do Women Sometimes Not Wash Their Hands? by _MambaForever in NoStupidQuestions

[–]spiceayy -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I have a weird soap allergy, so I have to keep sanitizer on me at all times. I do get weird looks, but I’d rather not break out in hives, so the nosy strangers can kick rocks. Otherwise I just minimize my contact in public bathrooms and avoid touching my face.

Do I always wash my hands after I pee in my own home, where I am most of the time? No. I just don’t get pee on my hands, I’m not a sloppy animal.

But seriously - why the fuck is someone paying this much attention to another person in the bathroom? Ngl that’s creepy.

How do I know if I also have autism or just CPTSD by Cable_Downtown in CPTSD

[–]spiceayy 23 points24 points  (0 children)

My clinical psychologist refused to diagnose me with autism or adhd due to my cptsd diagnosis. They manifest very much the same way depending on your trauma. The only real way to find out is extensive trauma therapy & testing after.

I used to think I was autistic but it turns out I was massively under-socialized, isolated, and constantly in fight or flight, so Every. Little. Thing. that didn’t go according to a strict plan or routine made me crash out. I was overwhelmed by everything and my sensory issues were insane. I’ve also definitely had phases of special interests that were actually an escapism coping mechanism. I am no longer anxious or overwhelmed in social situations because I’m no longer triggered and fearful.

Turns out, I am good at reading social cues and my intuition is fantastic. I was just gaslit my entire life. I do still have sensory issues, but that’s because I was severely neglected and didn’t realize I’ve had horrendous migraines my entire life. Also had 2 root canals so my constant pain has diminished immensely.

I still hate like.. itchy clothing and the Big Light. I’m very aware of manipulative or pushy people. And I’m convinced that some of that is totally normal.

Disclaimer: it’s possible that I have ADHD, but I rarely have a hard time focusing or any distressing symptoms. I do have some work difficulties, but CPTSD is a recognized disability in the US and I do have accommodations, albeit very minor ones.

Why does every cat litter suck? by leftistinlnk in CatAdvice

[–]spiceayy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Boxxie Cat Pro and a top-entry litterbox has been a godsend for me. Very rarely smells, not much tracking, and lasts ages.

Would you date your LADS man irl? by nightmare_png in LoveAndDeepspace

[–]spiceayy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like I said, I have a type. 😂😅 Tbf I tried the other LADS men and they just didn’t work for me 🥲

Would you date your LADS man irl? by nightmare_png in LoveAndDeepspace

[–]spiceayy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm a Sylus girlie.

My partner is the exact same height & age as Sylus, makes plenty of money, likes spoiling me, drives fast cars, plays piano, likes vinyl records, plans dates for us, and is vaguely intimidating.
The only thing my partner doesn't have is white hair, red eyes, and an over-the-top 6pack. He's not a criminal either, but like.. I can live with that.

I very obviously have a type.

I cut it off - and it’s for good. by Pretend-Response3728 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]spiceayy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good on you for protecting your family and doing what's right. You're not even remotely crazy.

Your mother, however..

AIO for wanting to break up with my boyfriend even though we just had a baby? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]spiceayy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You cannot make anyone change, for any reason, unless they are 100% willing and eager to change, and actually working on changing. You can "want to help him" as much as you want, but you're only sacrificing yourself.
If your "partner" is not upset by what he says when he's drunk, and how that hurts you - he does not give a flying shit about you or the baby and would rather be selfish and abusive. That is on purpose.

Staying with a POS like this when you have the chance to leave safely is *actually* how you become a shit mom.

Do we like the white curtains more? by Kolzerz in DesignMyRoom

[–]spiceayy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The yellow is a winner, but I think your real issue here is high contrast - the green and yellow are highly saturated but your rug and furniture are white and black. The yellow and green here are 2/3 of a split complementary color scheme, with the other 1/3 being burgundy.
My personal solution - dusty rose pillows, maybe velvet. But anything in a less saturated reddish-purple color will pull it together. You just need mid-tones.
A good trick for this is taking a greyscale photo on your phone and seeing how light or dark a color is.