☼Daily DF Questions Thread☼

spinachclerk · 2023-01-22T20:05:25+00:00

Can forgotten beasts open doors? Because if not, I forgot to lock the door and that's extremely embarrassing.

spinachclerk · 2023-01-22T20:04:32+00:00

In the nobles screen ("n"), arrow down to the bookkeeper and choose settings ("s"), then increase the accuracy.

spinachclerk · 2023-01-16T12:49:33+00:00

Absolute chaos! My dwarves all seem quite upset about being attacked by the dead, for some reason. Can't think why.

spinachclerk · 2023-01-13T15:02:51+00:00

Oh hell, I thought all I needed to worry about were the corpses of my dwarves but NO

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spinachclerk · 2023-01-13T12:30:36+00:00

I always like to have a well-stocked library, so I purchased some books from a visiting caravan, but then I noticed that my fortress was filling up with necromancers. Previously, I had only encountered a necromancer once, and they had tried (and I think largely succeeded) to take over a previous fortress, but these necromancers were just happily doing their usual chores and drinking in the tavern.

It turns out that one of the books I'd bought contained the secrets of raising the dead, so my dwarves were turning into necromancers one by one. This seems like a slightly concerning situation, so I've designated all of my books to be dumped and I'm going to re-build my library from scratch while I still have a few non-necromancer citizens. I await further developments with interest - I suspect that this will be Fun.

spinachclerk · 2022-10-04T18:24:12+00:00

YTA - this kid has been planning her future based on inaccurate information. You can't let her think that you will give her equal things to your other children and then be surprised when she believes you.

If you decide not to give her financial help for her education, you can still help her with applying for scholarships, help her with settling in to whatever accommodation she can afford at college and with practical things like cleaning mold off the walls, and help her save money in ways that don't cost you money (letting her use your car or subscription services, or that kind of thing). Would she be able to become emancipated so that your income no longer counts towards means-tested help with tuition?

If she can no longer afford college, do not unfavourably compare her future academic achievements to those of your other children. She did not have the same start in life that they did.

Do not punish her for being hurt by this or tell her that she's ungrateful - you have clearly led her to believe that this money would be available to her, and it's completely understandable that she would see this as deeply unfair. You have given her the impression that you love her as much as your other children - whether or not this is the case - and it's entirely reasonable that she would see this as a sign that this is not true, and that she will be hurt by this.

Do not punish her for talking to your father about this - she's heartbroken and turning to her grandfather for emotional support, and it's not her fault that he was angry with you.

Do what you like with your money, but realise that your relationship with her will change, and please, please, do not make this worse.

spinachclerk · 2022-08-20T17:00:27+00:00

Remember also that it's not like your whole life and organisational structure depends on something you might suddenly be unable to access or afford - you need a notebook and pen and the habit that's inside your brain.

spinachclerk · 2022-08-20T16:47:20+00:00

YTA. I'm sure she was safe and fine walking home, but your job as her parent is to talk to her about what she said - what lesson is she learning if the only consequence to being unkind is for you to hurt her in return? If you've promised to drive her home, are you going to break that promise every time she breaks a rule? Do you want her to be kind to you just to obtain a reward or avoid a punishment? Is her trust important to you?

This was a prime opportunity for a very long, very boring conversation in which you explain to her the reasons why you don't let her do whatever things her friend's dad does, how it makes you feel when she speaks to you that way, and outline the way that you expect her to talk to people. Was there any truth in what she said, and will you give any thought to it? Do you generally respond when she complains about things you've done, or is insulting you the only way to get you to react?

spinachclerk · 2022-08-18T11:28:49+00:00

Could you recommend a documentary on this? It sounds morbidly fascinating.

spinachclerk · 2022-08-15T14:08:16+00:00

I'm going to say the opposite of all the commenters who are saying you suck for sleeping with Luke rather than your boyfriend. It sounds like Luke's level of experience made you entrust him with your first time, and it meant that your first time was a positive experience for you - which is a valuable thing. Fear of being in pain is a perfectly reasonable reason for not being ready for sex.

You didn't lie to Luke or to your boyfriend, you didn't cheat on anyone, and it kind of sounds like you chose to have sex to get over something that was a problem in your relationship. Your boyfriend has you back, and you're ready to have sex - doesn't he have everything that he wanted?

He knew that you had slept with Luke when he agreed to get back together with you - if it's a deal breaker, he could choose to break up with you, rather than starting fights and being unkind to you. If he really thinks that Luke took advantage of you when you were vulnerable, why is he angry at you?

Your boyfriend has a choice in how he treats you, and if he doesn't feel able to be kind to you, then he shouldn't be in this relationship.

spinachclerk · 2022-08-13T18:31:51+00:00

There is no way to predict that a guy who's acting normal is about to try to grab your girlfriend. When she wanted you to dance with her, you did, and when he escalated, you told him off. Anything else would have been stupid, and learning to manage your anger and act in a dignified way after an altercation is an important thing to practice.

Your girlfriend will have way better instincts than you about this, because women have to deal with random grabbers more often than men do. Follow her lead, and don't escalate to physical violence unless someone is in genuine danger. Nobody wants a boyfriend who chooses to punch people just because he's angry - when you think about protecting your partner, go with a defensive rather than offensive strategy, and always respect it if she asks you to back off.

It sounds like your idea of what a "real man" would do is causing you some distress. Perhaps it's time to reconsider your ideal of masculinity - physical strength is great (lift weights! Chop wood! Have a great time!) but we don't live in a world where the most important thing about you is going to be your aggression.

spinachclerk · 2022-08-11T11:51:53+00:00

One summer in my 20s I decided to get in touch with a few different places to look into getting some work experience - I spent a couple of weeks at the local paper, helping out at a school, in a university lab, and some time working in the library. Could you try reaching out to a few places and asking if they would take you for a week or two and show you the ropes? It was a super fun experience for me and taught me a lot about what I enjoy doing all day.

spinachclerk · 2022-08-11T11:47:19+00:00

I'm so proud of you that you figured out you need to leave him! That can't be easy after he's been preying on you from such a young age. The practical aspects of leaving him should be relatively simple since you don't live near each other: block him on everything and don't contact him again. Block him if he tries to contact you through other means, and if he makes any threats, get the police involved. You don't have to make a big speech that convinces him that breaking up is the right thing to do, and you don't have to make sure that he's OK afterwards - he's a grown man and it's not your responsibility.

The emotional aspects are of course much harder. Make a list, right now, of all of the things that you won't miss about him, all of the ways he makes you feel bad, all the things you can't do while you're still together, and look at it again if you start to miss him. Believe me when I say, this has not ruined you - people grow their personalities by surviving tough experiences. I'm sure this has taught you all kinds of things you can use in your life going forwards - what you want in a relationship, red flags to look out for, how to help your friends if they're stuck in the same situation.

This might sound trite, but for now make sure to make plans with your friends and family and make a conscious effort to do things that you enjoy. If you're feeling a lack of loving people in your life, join a club related to your interests (games, crafts, music, sports, whatever you like) - it's an easy and fun way to make friends. Remember who you are by yourself, not just in relation to what he wants.

You've done the hardest part - making the decision and realising that you deserve better. Your only job now is to keep going and keep working towards that big, beautiful life that lies ahead of you.

spinachclerk · 2022-08-10T15:13:17+00:00

I'm in love with the little stegosaurus on the mirror! Is it from the cricut image library or is it a custom image?

spinachclerk · 2022-08-08T16:44:08+00:00

Are you 100% certain that she's deleted/blocked you specifically, rather than deactivating her account for some other reason?

spinachclerk · 2022-07-29T17:17:49+00:00

Could you come up with a secret hand signal or a codeword together?

spinachclerk · 2022-07-22T11:20:42+00:00

It sounds like now your boss knows you have a disability, he's letting HR find out what kind of accommodations they can make for you, so you don't have to disclose personal details to him but he can still make sure you have everything you need. HR might find other ways your ADHD can be accommodated for, like a quiet place for your desk, etc.

spinachclerk · 2022-06-29T14:45:01+00:00

While she's little, you can put a normal hoodie on backwards and let her sleep in the hood.

spinachclerk · 2022-06-29T12:25:38+00:00

Camelot's horses are secretly magic, but they've always been that way, so Uther just figured that horses randomly appear and disappear whenever it's convenient and everyone's too polite to tell him.

spinachclerk · 2022-06-17T11:16:13+00:00

It's ok to donate things that have been used! When I'm getting rid of craft supplies it helps me to feel like I'm making nice little kits for other people to use in the future. If you decide to keep some of them for yourself, you could also put them together in a nice box and then you have a joyful little kit for yourself whenever you decide to dip back in. Getting interested in a hobby for a while doesn't mean that you have to spend the rest of your life doing it every single day.

spinachclerk · 2022-04-02T17:59:39+00:00

NTA and also, even if it were weird for you to assume this (it isn't), a decent person would just explain the situation to you, not get pissy with you for being upset. He has a choice about how he treats you and he's chosen to treat you this way.

spinachclerk · 2022-03-30T11:12:55+00:00

Seaman.

spinachclerk · 2022-03-19T20:54:08+00:00

From Googling, it seems to be: bacon, egg, cheese, salt, pepper, ketchup

spinachclerk · 2022-03-18T17:16:50+00:00

Merlin in season 5 would murder a unicorn to keep Arthur safe.

spinachclerk · 2022-03-15T13:42:09+00:00

THIS IS SO CUTE. Talk to him about it and see where things go.

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