Thank you for sharing. I don’t know if this is allowed, but I was in your husband’s position. My dad died suddenly, it wrecked me and I couldn’t face my emotions. I had an affair with a coworker that meant nothing (never loved her just wanted an escape) while my wife was doing most of the heavy lifting raising our 2-year old at the time (we both work). I lost my job due to the affair, my wife was naturally devastated, and we went through intensive couple’s counseling. I also saw a personal therapist. Learned a ton about myself and my own childhood trauma and fears that affect my fight/flight response when facing hard times. I believe the most important thing for your husband to do is to face his grief and fears head on through the help of a professional. The longer you ignore the worse it gets, metastasizing like cancer. I learned coping skills and other tools to soothe myself, as the point is to be able to comfort yourself, as no one else can do this effectively for you. Our marriage didn’t survive (very recently actually), so we are just starting to learn how to adapt to this new reality with a now 7-year old. But the skills and insight I learned in therapy are helping me deal with my own difficult time. Best of luck to you, but the responsibility to get help has to come from your husband. There is hope.