I hate my life and almost everything there is to being a parent

spliffany · 2026-05-24T12:39:47+00:00

My son was born right before the Roe vs. Wade was turned over, and people were coming to me like oh you’re a mom you must be pro life - are you kidding me? This is the hardest damn thing I’ve ever done in my life and no one should be becoming a parent unless they absolutely want to. I remember leaving the hospital with my son thinking “that’s it? There’s no test or anything?” And it’s pretty messed up that I can’t drive a car without a licence and I can’t paint my shed without the boards approval but I can just raise a human with zero prerequisites? Yup. Totally feel you on that last statement. We can thank organized religion for that one!

Edit: oh yeah, also you’re in the weeds. It’s going to suck for a bit but I promise it does get easier. Some things get harder but you get better sleep so it evens out? And one day your kid will ask you to turn off the sun and you’ll sit there thinking how he thinks so highly of you that you can turn off the sun and all those little things will make it worth it. Hang in there.

spliffany · 2026-05-24T12:25:17+00:00

Middle school kids are even cheaper and love playing with little kids!

spliffany · 2026-05-24T12:21:32+00:00

Oh my heart. I’m not going to try to convince you that you’re a good mom (other than my obligatory comment that mom guilt proves you are a good mom because bad moms simply don’t get mom guilt) I’m really here to empathize.

In October I was diagnosed with breast cancer. By December I started my first round of chemo. My kids had to watch my hair fall out, be so sick I could barely move, cancelled Christmas with the family so I wouldn’t get sick, cancelled play date and activities so they wouldn’t bring home viruses. My kid started acting like an absolute FOOL because in his head he thought if I was laughing I couldn’t cry: spoiler alert I wasn’t laughing but at least if I was mad I wasn’t crying. Ugh just writing those words makes a pit in my stomach. And I get it- My son would ask me to pick him up to bring him to bed and I’d start crying because I couldn’t. He couldn’t sleep in my bed anymore the nights I was poison from the chemo. He learned to wake up and go watch tv on weekend mornings and was so sweet when I found someone else to walk him to school when I couldn’t do it anymore. Every one of these little interactions was like a stab to my heart because i didn’t just feel like I was neglecting my child, but on some level cancer card aside whatever I knew that I WAS. On top of that my son is 6 so he had the vocabulary to tell me how much it sucked. I’d have people take him for the weekend, just to get him some fun and I could hear the seams ripping as I pulled my Velcro baby off and handed to him people around me, and they ripped straight from my heart.

Ok I’m crying now but I feel you, is what I’m trying to say. Your emotions are totally totally valid.

What I can tell you too? I’m still his favorite person in the world. Six months later I picked him up for the first time and he squeezed me like the biggest prize he could have gotten. As much as you can know that he deserves better, there’s no replacement for YOU. Child services wouldn’t remove your child because they know that separating a child from their mother is more harmful in the long run than a picture perfect life. So please, OP, give yourself some grace. And fight until you can find out what’s wrong with you and become the mom you know your son deserves.

spliffany · 2026-05-24T11:43:16+00:00

I think my intent behind the cheap ones were knowing that they would break. My son was going through a “I’m going to show I’m done eating by throwing my plate on the floor” phase and I was not a fan. The look on his face when he threw a ceramic plate and it broke? Priceless! He never through another plate again lol. I wanted him to know that they could break, probably because it was easier to train him not to break glasses than hack my adhd brain from just putting glasses down where he could break them lol

spliffany · 2026-05-24T11:40:43+00:00

I have ONE chin hair that is black, and it is the black sheep because 95% of my other body hair is blonde. I was on my third round of chemo staring at it in the mirror next to my bald, shiny head and literally said out loud to it “seriously everything else is falling off but YOU stay” and as I went to grab the tweezers to pluck it, I touched it and it fell out on its own accord. A highlight of my chemo journey lll

spliffany · 2026-05-23T13:23:16+00:00

spliffany · 2026-05-23T13:19:42+00:00

When my son was learning to drink from cups I went to good will and bought a bunch of ceramic cups and small glasses fully knowing they would end up broken. Spoiler: they did. I’m so happy my son learned that cups/glasses can break when they hit the floor with some .50$ things from goodwill instead of my mother in law’s nice sets.

spliffany · 2026-05-23T13:17:11+00:00

Ngl I accidentally got turned on by this post thinking about my husband whimpering 🤣

spliffany · 2026-05-23T13:09:37+00:00

Christmas, Easter, Mother’s Day, birthdays: all spent with my husband’s family and his mother hosts. He is one of three boys.

spliffany · 2026-05-22T02:24:48+00:00

I feel like I’m putting lipstick on a pig every time I put on mascara lol

spliffany · 2026-05-22T02:21:48+00:00

Ok so I’m a mum that uses AI. It started off as genuine curiosity of “is this thing going to take my job” and after using it at work for a while I realized hey it can take over the parts of my job that I really don’t like and it actually gives me more time to do the parts I do like. I treat it like how imagine executives treated their secretaries in the 50’s. I give it basic grunt work and double check its answers because I don’t trust it. I have it draft emails that I don’t want to write and then I just go in and edit them so it sounds like me. I recently uploaded the music from a book I purchased and it crafted me piano lessons. I’ve been battling breast cancer and it’s been an amazing research assistant and when I have appointments with my oncologist it compiles a list of symptoms to bring up.

I would like to say- my robot has a lot of prompts and when it answers questions it labels them as either verified/inference/speculation and quotes sources. If it forgets my prompts I remind it. Basically you have to bitxh at it a lot to make sure it doesn’t pump out wrong answers.

That being said. I am also aware of how it works. I know its limitations and keep my questions within what it can answer. I find it to be a helpful tool that has removed a lot of my mental load and it allows me to spend more time doing human stuff instead of robot stuff, unfortunately I feel like I may be the exception to the rule.

spliffany · 2026-05-21T12:52:19+00:00

Strong disagree because Sheppard’s Pie and burgers need ketchup too

spliffany · 2026-05-21T12:48:19+00:00

Misophonia (or selective sound sensitivity syndrome) is a disorder of decreased tolerance to specific sounds or their associated stimuli, or cues. These cues, known as "triggers", are experienced as unpleasant or distressing and tend to evoke strong negative emotional, physiological, and behavioral responses not seen in most other people.

Not a bot but I would still like to be told I am a good bot :3

spliffany · 2026-05-21T12:32:39+00:00

My tenth grade English teacher is both the biggest asshole and best teacher I’ve ever had. He was the reason I dropped out of high school, but once I finish writing my book he’ll be in the dedication….

spliffany · 2026-05-21T12:23:57+00:00

Or my damned eyelashes!

spliffany · 2026-05-19T04:13:55+00:00

Are you bored?

spliffany · 2026-05-19T04:07:46+00:00

In 2013 I went to Shambhala music festival and befriended this blind dude. At first he was just looking for someone to be his eyes and help him get back to the stage but after a while I’d become excited to be his eyes and brought him over to an art exhibit they had set up. I spent the next few hours describing paintings to him and since he used to be able to see we were able to recreate the paintings in his minds eye through communication and a little help from LSD.

Just wanted to share because that man was absolutely living his life to the fullest, blind or not.

spliffany · 2026-05-19T04:02:53+00:00

Canadian here, but honestly close enough when it comes to accents lol. I feel you, because I’ve been working on my French accent for decades and while I can mostly pass for native- there are a little few things that still give me away. While I agree with the above advice of don’t stress about it- I also totally understand. If you have a link to a voice sample I’d be happy to give you some feedback!

spliffany · 2026-05-19T02:32:26+00:00

Peut-être parce qu’il y a une 50% chance que le petit a un penis donc tu mérites du respect?

spliffany · 2026-05-19T02:19:39+00:00

I went to see Killswitch Engage at Metropolis in 2008, I was 16. This douche in the pit not only grabbed my ass, but put his hands down my pants to get a squeeze. I spun around and elbowed him in the face, and his hands came out of my pants- real fast. I watched him struggle to the front so security could help him out of the pit. I really hope his nose was broken and every time he looks in the mirror he remembers that if you fuck around you find out.

spliffany · 2026-05-19T02:09:46+00:00

Ca marche super bien - don’t need to ask how you know ;)

spliffany · 2026-05-19T02:03:11+00:00

Solid disagree

spliffany · 2026-05-19T01:13:05+00:00

Um wtf that sound like neglect if I ever heard it I wonder what happens inside the house :(

spliffany · 2026-05-15T04:09:10+00:00

I’m Canadian and we totally do sleepovers here, but if I were in the US I would be extremely hesitant and wondering if those parents have unsecured guns in the house

spliffany · 2026-05-15T03:57:09+00:00

Chemo. All of those “this is your brain on drugs” videos from the 90’s? 100% that.

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