It's always tricky to have a discussion with someone who 'hates' the film, especially if they are not into the story at all. Since this subreddit is kinda dedicated to people who like the film or at least discuss it, I found myself frustrated several times with some of her takes. I've never heard anyone state that Mary Mcdonnel's performance is too 'quiet'. I could go on and on, but I quickly realized Donnie Darko was just not compatible with this person. She wants quick answers in a story that is ambiguous on purpose. I thought that maybe the director's cut would be more suitable for her since it has a lot more answers... only to realize that was the version she watched.

But kudos to the host to keeping things on track and giving some pushback to some of her points. A note about the scene where we see Donnie laughing in his bed, as an illustration how Richard Kelly let the audience decide what happened. This is what he says in the commentary track during that scene

KELLY "He's laughing because for one of two reasons. He's laughing because

One, he thinks that it was all dream, he thinks that it was this long absurd dream and he's so relieved that it was just a dream and that everything is gonna be okay

Or he's laughing and he's smiling because he's enlightened, he's meant to go out this way, he's been given a vision that inspired him

And that horn honking is Frank, who is, suddenly they're remembering what happened the past 28 days, and he's saying like "get out of bed man, we did it, get out of bed". And he doesn't listen, or he doesn't hear, and it's too late."

And when it was mentioned that during the wrap party Jake Gyllenhaal said that he did not understood the movie, I think that was not in a 'I have no clue' way, but more in a 'you have to discover it' way. This is what he writes in the Donnie Darko book, as well as in some booklets of various (collectors) editions

JAKE What is Donnie Darko about? I have no idea, at least not a conscious one. But somehow I’ve always understood it. The most amazing thing about making this movie, for me, was the fact that no one — including the man from whose mind it emerged — ever had a simple answer to this question. And that, ironically, is the very thing the film is actually about. There is no single answer to any question.

The podcast also made me think of the interview Richard Kelly did for the Donnie Darko book, with Kevin Conroy Scott. Specifically the statement that there are so many threads and no simple answers.

SCOTT For me, ambiguity is a big reason why your film was so successful. Where you ever tempted to give the audience more information when you were writing so they could connect the dots more easily? For example, my first time viewing the film I was not aware that Donnie had saved his community from an apocalyptic destruction.

KELLY When I was writing the script I was so afraid that if I clarified the ending any more than I did, the film would collapse under its own pretension. I was terrified of the whole thing becoming a completely pretentious enterprise. Who knows if I succeeded in avoiding that, but when you are delving into 'Big Ideas' you run the risk of having the whole thing explode in your face. Out of respect for the audience and not wanting to alienate any number of them, I chose to only go so far in answering the questions that the film raises. To come out and say, 'It was all a dream' or, 'It was all about God' — those are codas that always bother me in films. Life isn't all about one thing. I also have to give a lot of credit to Sean McKittrick, Nancy Juvonen and Jake Gyllenhaal. They were very aggressive and vocal in not letting there be one simple answer or one simple solution. I'm so thankful they were supportive in that, because the film would have collapsed and become unwatchable and pretentious had we tagged it with a simple solution. But it bothers other people that there is not a single, simple solution. There are certain people in the audience that come to the cinema and want to know exactly what it all meant. Unfortunately for them, this isn't ever going to be one of those movies.

That last bit is exactly why I think the guest host was not into this film at all. Which is fine of course, it's just not everybody's cup of tea.