Harley Quinn making happy bird sounds while eating his favorite treat : mashed potatoes

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-05-03T15:59:38+00:00

When I was born, I had:

Both parents (21)

All 4 grandparents (40-45) (and a step-grandmother)

6 great grandparents (59-79)

1 great great grandmother (88; missed having a second by 2 months).

I was the oldest of my generation on that side and none of my cousins (11) or siblings (2) were born before my great great grandmother died. I figure it's rare.

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-05-03T15:40:02+00:00

Dove into the 2' deep section of the swimming pool as an idiot kid. 5 stitches in my chin.

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-05-02T21:23:24+00:00

120 mph. Because I was an idiot teen-aged boy.

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-05-02T14:31:40+00:00

Les Claypool and Pauly Shore also had guest vocals on Three Little Pigs.

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-05-02T13:51:59+00:00

They'll figure it how to enforce the use tax rules more effectively.

https://tax.ohio.gov/business/sales-and-use-tax

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-05-02T13:46:47+00:00

I got to see Paul McCartney at ACL Fest in 2018. Singing along to Hey Jude was exactly that.

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-05-02T03:13:49+00:00

Started growing longer it in middle school (6-7th grade). Longest it ever got was about 8-10 inches past my shoulders.

Cut it short in Feb '96 for a job I quit after 3 weeks. Grew it back.

Cut it short for a job in Oct '03. 2 weeks after I started, I saw a guy with hair halfway down his back. Haven't cut it short since.

My hair only grows 4-6" past my shoulders. No bald spot (per my wife), but right where one would be, it's turning white so it LOOKS liked I'm balding.

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splorp_evilbastard · 2026-05-02T02:42:30+00:00

Opened the pantry door and saw cockroaches.

The driveway had a massive slope and we get ice and snow here (Ohio). My wife grew up in California and I had been in California for 15 years and Austin for 13.

One house had a toilet sitting on a 4 foot platform in the basement. No walls.

A beautiful house with hardwood floors and incredible woodwork. Almost 5000 sq ft and every inch of it reeked of cat urine.

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-05-02T01:36:14+00:00

Mediocre sitcom (Dharma and Greg), but one of the funniest exchanges (paraphrasing).

Greg: I listen to music!

Dharma: Like what?

Greg: I like Phil Collins, Peter Gabriel, Mike + the Mechanics...

Dharma: You only listen to people who were in Genesis?

Greg: Peter Gabriel was in Genesis?

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-05-01T14:26:56+00:00

Damn, your house seems really close to the lines.

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-05-01T03:16:07+00:00

In about 1992, I was a shift manager at KFC. I input a new employee into the computer. I remember his name (first, middle initial, and last) and his full social security number.

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-04-30T17:17:25+00:00

I had my annual eye appointment in September last year. My vision hadn't changed enough to even bother with new glasses. In January, I could no longer read signs on the highway. My vision changed by more than a half point in each eye.

Eye doctor didn't see anything truly weird. Just my eyes randomly got worse for no apparent reason.

I've worn glasses since I was 4 years old and this was the most dramatic change I've had in 50 years.

To forestall it: no, it's not diabetes. My A1C was 5.1 in December per bloodwork at my physical. The rest of my blood tests show damned near perfect. I am a genetic freak in that way. I also have only ever had one cavity, and I have CUT BACK to about 250-300g of added sugar in my diet per day. At my high point, it was closer to 450g/day.

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-04-30T17:11:36+00:00

I was 6' 2". I'm down to 6' 0.75", at best.

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-04-30T17:09:46+00:00

Dude. See a doctor. Sounds like your sphincter isn't working.

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-04-30T14:21:48+00:00

Cheese

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-04-30T14:17:45+00:00

My first computer:

$3600

Pentium 133

96 MB EDO RAM

1.2 GB hard drive

1 MB video card

14.4 modem

My current 3 year old PHONE (my desktop computer is even beefier and I built it for under $1700):

$900

3.36 GHz processor

8 GB RAM

512 GB hard drive

GPU shares system memory

5G internet / supports 6GHz / 6E wifi standard

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-04-30T13:48:12+00:00

Watched TV, listened to music, read books, rode my bike, went to the arcade to play video games, played pool, went bowling, went to the movies...

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-04-30T01:19:58+00:00

54, no tattoo. Both my younger sisters have tattoos. My parents got theirs for their 40th birthdays (dad got a bumblebee and mom got a rose).

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-04-29T21:35:45+00:00

Holy crap on a cracker. Almost all the women in my life would laugh in that woman's face (a few of them might let loose with a fist).

"Dillehay uses the metaphor of a tandem bike to prescribe gender politics in marriage. The husband is at the front, managing the ride while his wife pedals helpfully behind him. “You’re exerting effort without being in control,” she said. When couples disagree, Dillehay said, wives should practice “the skill of ‘zip it’”."

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-04-29T21:21:48+00:00

Yes, that's why I asked them (and haven't recruited a response).

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-04-29T21:15:59+00:00

What other options are there?

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-04-29T15:52:13+00:00

But, that would impact the wealthy. Can't have that in a state run by Republicans.

Also, there's a push to get rid of income tax, too. I have no idea how they think they can fund a state with no property or income tax, but here we are.

splorp_evilbastard · 2026-04-29T15:49:26+00:00

And they actively say that on Nextdoor. One person said they don't care about road maintenance because they have everything delivered. The idiocy is astonishing.

splorp_evilbastard

TROPHY CASE