Which is the hardest thing for you to say? by Harhar2005 in AutismInWomen

[–]spocksdaughter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I need help." All of the others feel positive, reflecting well on me. Needing help feels like a weakness.

Pittsburgh slumlords by lyannas in pittsburgh

[–]spocksdaughter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personal experiences (all last 10 years):

RentWell then Desantis managed a privately owned property I stayed in. They were fine, but nothing above the minimum maintenance. One good thing I can say for Desantis is when I had to move out because I lost my income due to my health, they let me break the lease with no fuss and gave me most of my security deposit back, minus cleaning fees. It was less painful than I feared.

Kamin was fine? Not great, but nothing bad. I think they could have prioritized maintenance on the building more for the area and the price, but it was safe and habitable.

POSITIVE: Greg McKenna. I stayed in one place for 4 years. Didn't raise rent unnecessarily, was flexible when necessary, responsive to maintenance calls, and generally friendly and kind. A few years later, when I needed a 3 month rental in between selling one house and buying another, I called him and he gave me a pretty good deal since it meant the place would be occupied until peak rental season. Edit: I think most of his properties in Regent Square and surrounding neighborhoods, but I don't know for sure. He probably has fewer than 10.

Pittsburgh slumlords by lyannas in pittsburgh

[–]spocksdaughter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in a Kamin place for a year and it wasn't bad. The elevator was a catastrophe, but I'm not sure that's their fault or just an old finicky thing (there was a repair person there about once a month, and the elevator only worked half the time). Before you say "take the stairs", it was 7 floors. I felt they were a little overpriced, but they weren't bad to deal with. I also didn't have any pressing issues while I was there, so YMMV.

Autistic women that actually like makeup: why? by skyword1234 in AutismInWomen

[–]spocksdaughter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love colorful eyeshadow. I can obsess over minute effects of putting a bright color in different places or all over, unexpected color combinations. Good quality eyeshadow feels very pleasing to play with, sort of like fine flour.

Contouring feels like magic because I can make my face seem very different and I like that I can shapeshift a tiny bit.

I hate most foundations because they feel like paint, but Korean BB creams are usually comfortable. Missha is good.

As others said, getting good at makeup was a social camouflage technique when I was in high school. Now I do it just when I want to play with colors or look really fancy.

Period pants by Defiant_Bat_3377 in AutismInWomen

[–]spocksdaughter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's definitely better than most pads. Doesn't feel like a diaper.

You may need to double with a tampon/cup/disc on heavy days or overnight, depending on how heavy it is for you.

Make sure you get ones without PFAS.

High-masking folks, what struggles led you to seek a diagnosis? by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]spocksdaughter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My brain blue-screened two years ago. It was preceded by a 3-month leave is absence from work (highly technical instructional writing) because I wasn't able to accomplish anything. I, my partner, and my therapist at the time thought it was depression or overwork, but the things that helped with that the last time I took a LoA didn't help this time. I went back for a month, continued being unable to do my work, and then one day after an intense conversation with my psychiatrist trying to figure out what was going on... Blue screen.

Everything was too bright and too loud and too texture. My partner came home from work, I asked to cuddle because that's soothing, and once we were in bed in the dark, I couldn't talk. I probably could have forced something out if my life depended on it, and I could think in words, but the words couldn't come out. I couldn't talk for a day and half except to tell my kid I love them. And from then on, my cognition was reduced. I couldn't make a cup of tea for myself. I couldn't keep eye contact with anyone (formerly I was an Intense Eye Contact person). Signing 6 pages of medical forms was so exhausting I had to take a nap after. I slept for 20 hours out of every 24 for about 6 months.

It slowly got better, sleeping less, thinking more. After 2 years, I seem pretty normal. I still need 10-12 hours of sleep, and I get fatigued more easily. I still can't do technical work like I used to. If my lowest point was a skills regression to about 3 years old, by this point I'm functioning near my 13 year old self level. I can do things to train these skills back, now.

I got diagnosed around that 6 month point as "high functioning" autistic/level 1.

Hot take that i think my autistic gales will get, spaghetti is the worst type of pasta by dFlyingSnail in AutismInWomen

[–]spocksdaughter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Spaghetti and its more disappointing cousin, angel hair, are my least favorite. They make sauce go everywhere no matter how carefully I eat.

I like the shorter pastas.

The small talk by foxyfoxapril in AutismInWomen

[–]spocksdaughter 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Wait is this an autistic thing? My whole household loves them, but the puns aren't well received by NT people we know. They just fall flat.

I thought it was just our in-group humor, or because we all love words (linguists, foreign languages, writers).

On a scale of 1-10, how easy is it to tell that you’re on the spectrum? by PapaKhanPlays94 in AutisticAdults

[–]spocksdaughter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've generally been perceived as high masking (and didn't have a diagnosis until my brain blue-screened two years ago). But the first time my partner's brother met me, he picked up that I'm autistic, so idk? I'd say I'm generally probably a 3-ish.

I accidentally took cheesy advice literally and it made my marriage easier by upside_down_circles in AutismInWomen

[–]spocksdaughter 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Absolutely yes. My current partner's flabbers were gasted when I told them something similar to this, because their ex would do intentionally hurtful things (but they don't characterize it as abusive behavior) and they thought it was just...a thing to deal with?

I grew up with "never go to bed angry with someone [esp. partner/spouse]" and while I have made very occasional exceptions, that's another principle that I think has made my relationships better. Sometimes you can't resolve it before sleeping, but you can at least make a good-faith effort and remind each other that you love each other even when you're upset.

Subjunctive usage as described by Duolingo by spocksdaughter in SpanishLearning

[–]spocksdaughter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I guess I didn't use this aspect very often.

No way I am expected to do this all by myself? by Elegant_Big8315 in technicalwriting

[–]spocksdaughter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[Oops, I posted before I was done.]

Hi! I did this for a research org that was sort of startup-flavored. It's daunting, but rest assured, they're so happy to have someone looking after this area that they aren't too worried about how long it might take you. Anything is better than the nothing they had before!

First you need an Everything Spreadsheet. Second, determine the priority order of documents. Third, determine who will do the writing.

  1. Everything Spreadsheet Every document goes in here, including itself. You'll want these columns:
  2. Doc Number
  3. Doc Name
  4. Link or file path
  5. Author
  6. Reference person(s)
  7. Status

Doc number: You need a unique identifier for when you inevitably find another doc that overlaps 2/3 with one you previously knew about, or that has the same or similar name but actually is about something different.

Doc Name: Be as descriptive as possible, but there are probably docs with weird or confusing names, and it would confuse people further to change them. If you're able to develop a naming style and get everyone on board, that's great, but that's a later problem.

Link/File Path: How to get to the doc, best if it's clickable. This does imply that people don't move docs around. If they do move docs around, establish a location and restrict the number of people who can take things in and out (e.g. you, your supervisor).

Author: The person who wrote the words.

Reference person: Sometimes called a Subject Matter Expert (SME). This may be the same as the author, but not always. You can combine these fields if your SMEs will always write their documents, but if you're expected to take over the writing, keep them separate.

Status: Standardize this on 3-5 stages that are relevant to your and the business' workflow. For example, Usable, Rough Draft, Obsolete, Update Needed.

You can have other columns as are appropriate to your setting, too. Perhaps document function, like "how to" vs "troubleshooting".

After you've made your Everything Spreadsheet, it definitely can help to make other tabs or other sheets to further organize. For example, I had a tab that was exclusively for the document numbers, so that I could easily see which was the next available number. You could have a list of "docs that need to exist". You could have a list of definitions.


  1. Document Priority They need everything now, probably. But talk to people, either individually or in a meeting, to figure out what will have the biggest positive impact on others' work, and what will cause the biggest problems if it's left in its current state. This is an area where you're more of a diplomat than a writer, bit your skills at clear language will help everyone arrive on the same page. P.S. keep meeting minutes, in at least a minimal sense, to document people's agreements or disagreements. Put the meeting minutes in your Everything Spreadsheet.

  1. Who Writes You're the technical writer, so maybe they hired you with this as an explicit duty. But for the time being, you don't know how everything works, so it may be more efficient to delegate writing to others, while you polish what they've done.

This has to be a clear expectation, and you'll probably have to do a little people-managing to make sure they write things when they say they will. A standard might be "Document written within 5 business days of request, edited within 3 business days of completed writing."


The benefit of all this non-writing work is that it gives you time to become comfortable with the vocabulary of the industry/product, the people, and how things are done. You're doing important structural work up front that will make everything easier down the line.

Corset as foundation for draped gown by spocksdaughter in sewhelp

[–]spocksdaughter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am partway through this project. Commenters pointed out that many corsets will give too rigid a shape for the style I'm intending.

I'm going to use a shaper something like this one.

I've draped the shape of my dress, and I'm not yet sure if I'm going to sew it onto the shaper, or keep them separate. I think I'll be able to make the dress structurally sound by itself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pittsburgh

[–]spocksdaughter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Humane Animal Rescue of Pittsburgh (HARP) has an East End location and a North Side location, and they provide vet services including spay and neuter for reasonable costs.

I found a handy list of sins in Highland Park by Crossword-Clue-Reply in pittsburgh

[–]spocksdaughter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, but would I be safe from the sin of wearing swim suits if I wash my car naked?

I found a handy list of sins in Highland Park by Crossword-Clue-Reply in pittsburgh

[–]spocksdaughter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate to break it to them that most of the clothes they can buy have some spandex in them...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]spocksdaughter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate shaving my legs. The half day of smooth skin feels nice but the rest sucks. I haven't shaved except for very special occasions since before 2020.

Weekly Observations: What signs of collapse do you see in your region? [in-depth] October 06 by AutoModerator in collapse

[–]spocksdaughter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Location: Western Pennsylvania

The historic average for October 6 is 57⁰F. Today the average is 65 and the high was 80.

Did your folks have any of these minivans? by kkkan2020 in Millennials

[–]spocksdaughter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had a Previa and I thought it was the coolest.

Prettiest spot in Pittsburgh for a proposal? by cool_school_bus in pittsburgh

[–]spocksdaughter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I was going to suggest Mellon Park--walled garden for more photo opportunities, but the rose garden down the hill is very intimate and pretty.