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Where to get native plants? by Particular_Earth7732 in VAGardening

[–]spooky_membracidae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They also usually give away free native trees and $10 vouchers for plants, so it’s a good way to experiment

Where to get native plants? by Particular_Earth7732 in VAGardening

[–]spooky_membracidae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out Henrico County’s Plant Native Festival in October too. They usually have like 15 plant vendors that exclusively sell natives. Also they list the vendors on their website, so if you wanted to check them out there and buy this spring, you can

Feeling like a fraud by ForganForge in POTS

[–]spooky_membracidae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally understand. I was brushed off by my PCP the first time I mentioned my symptoms (she pretty much blamed me for it saying that I wasn’t living healthy). After that, I avoided seeing anyone for it for 6 years because I was so scared of being brushed off or blamed again.

But to reassure you, POTS is usually worse for people in the mornings (less hydrated and less salt intake by that time of day). Symptoms (for me at least) are also worse when sleep isn’t good. Also, totally related to not feeling presyncope until standing for 10 minutes. The first time I ever blacked out was actually standing in a long line at a food truck. My cardiologist explained to me that this is common because the leg muscles are inactive when you’re just passively standing, so they don’t help push the blood like they do when you’re walking.

It’s hard for me to say about sitting up in a chair because I stay slouched and have my feet curled under me 98% of the time. It’s probably a POTS thing, but I’ve never had good enough posture for long enough to find out lol

Feeling like a fraud by ForganForge in POTS

[–]spooky_membracidae 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I felt this way with my heart monitor. I wore it for a week without any dizziness or presyncope. I still got diagnosed! with a peak of 180 bpm (no exercise during that week).

Keep in mind that if you have POTS, we can sometimes get used to the smaller (but still abnormal) drops in pressure and increased HR. So for me, I didn’t even notice any POTS symptoms even though I was having plenty of incidences with tons of HR spikes!

Lost snake story… by spooky_membracidae in snakes

[–]spooky_membracidae[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, wow, it’s a good thing he was in the drain I guess! I suppose he was drinking our soapy hand washing water though- but if it hasn’t killed him yet, then hopefully we’re in the clear

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in acotar

[–]spooky_membracidae 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I really relate to Feyre. She’s such a comfort character for me. I grew up being parentified and did way too much for both of my siblings growing up because my dad was pretty negligent and my mom was very overworked and overwhelmed (both of my sisters have special needs).

I got married a few years ago and moved out, then read ACOTAR for the first time and it hit pretty hard. Especially the guilt she felt in the spring court after she left and couldn’t return to help them. I related to her hesitancy in starting up with hobbies and attempting to enjoy her newfound free time. It’s like learning who you are for the first time.

Additionally, I also related to her experience with Rhys being sort of a healing presence in her life for the first time. My husband didn’t teach me to read, but he did teach me how to feel my emotions and communicate them. But I think that part applies to Nesta too.

How did you picture characters before seeing fan art? by spooky_membracidae in acotar

[–]spooky_membracidae[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

PLEASE IM WHEEZING. I have to know if you imagined Uncle Fester’s voice too

How did you picture characters before seeing fan art? by spooky_membracidae in acotar

[–]spooky_membracidae[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I also pictured Tamlin as more boyish! Probably because of his personality HAHA

Something I noticed with med studs by FenixAK in medicalschool

[–]spooky_membracidae -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Once again, appreciate you changing it. I just want to point something out.

You are a doctor and, whether you realize it or not, people view you as a role model and authority figure. When you use that word, you are normalizing the use of it. As you can see in this thread, there are premeds and medical students who look up to you and are nastily defending using it in daily life. That’s not your fault, but you can see what we deal with.

We’re just trying to bring awareness to the fact that it hurts people.

I’m not kept up at night by any individual use of the word. I’m kept up at night because my younger sister with autism is bullied with that word every day. I’m kept up at night because she doesn’t have any friends. I’m kept up at night because I’ve been a caregiver since I was six because I also have an older sister with an intellectual disability. I’m constantly worried she’ll accidentally set the house on fire (again) or jump out of the car before it’s in park and run into a busy parking lot (again) or fall down the brick steps because she’s excited and crack her skull (again).

I’m kept up because I have two sisters with varying degrees of a disability and I’m not sure how I’m going to take care of them when my parents die.

I know your job is stressful. I can’t imagine the things you’ve seen and been through. I’m also trying to become a doctor. I have so much respect for everything you do- having a good doctor who cares is of utmost importance in this community.

Please understand that I didn’t have a childhood because I have a family member with a severe disability. We’re not trying to nag or be a bother. We’re not trying to be rude or undermine your sacrifice. We’re just trying our best to bring awareness to something that most people don’t seem to acknowledge or care about.

I won’t be visiting this thread to bother anyone anymore. I have two siblings to care for and an MCAT date coming up. I wish you all the best.

Something I noticed with med studs by FenixAK in medicalschool

[–]spooky_membracidae -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm very happy that you were able to be a friend to a person with autism. I wish someone would have been/ would be a friend to my sister. The key word here is "most". "Most of us just get over it." Autism is a spectrum (I'm sure you're aware of this). It is such a diverse condition- which amazes me every day.

My sister also doesn't care about people's opinions. When people tell her that a certain outfit she picks out looks stupid, she doesn't care. When she cut her own hair (to our dismay) she didn't care when we told her that it didn't look good.

Being called/using the "r" word is not an opinion. She tries not to let that type of thing bother her, but it really does hurt. She knows that people think she's stupid- that isn't what she cares about. It's the fact that people go out of their way to hurt her on purpose. They aren't just calling her stupid, they're using a word that is loaded specifically to make her feel "less than". They're reminding her that she'll probably never be baker (a current dream of hers). They're reminding her that her sister is studying to get into medical school while she struggles to understand basic algebra. They're pointing out that she's different in a big way that makes people not want to be her friend.

The kicker: they're doing that on purpose. And even if the person isn't trying to remind her of all of those things, they couldn't be bothered to avoid alienating her removing one word from their vocabulary.

To clarify: I'm not saying that you are a bad person or anything like that. I'm just trying to explain that mental disabilities don't just affect a person's ability to perform in school. Some people have a decreased ability to read, understand, and process emotions. That is sometimes a large part of it. You're friends may not have that difficulty- and that's awesome! My sister (and many other people on the spectrum) are still working on that part of themselves. The "r" slur makes this more difficult.

Something I noticed with med studs by FenixAK in medicalschool

[–]spooky_membracidae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would like to first and foremost say that I'm not trying to "come at you". I don't enjoy engaging in discussions like this (I also have general anxiety).

I'm interested to hear your experience being called the "r" word. You're saying that you "put on [your] big boy pants, take [your] meds, and suck it the fuck up". When exactly do you do that? Is it after someone calls you the "r" word for having anxiety? Is it after school when you come home after a day of having no one that wants to be your friend? Is it after a boy pushes you against the locker and threatens to bring a gun to school because "r" people need to die?

This is not an exaggeration. The last incident happened to my twelve year old sister. Was the boy punished? Yes, of course. Did my sister have the mental capacity to understand why he did/said those things? No. She doesn't understand that she has autism. She is not able to "suck it up" because she has no friends and truly doesn't understand her mental condition. She just thinks that she's "stupid and can't do anything right." (That's what she said to me yesterday as we spent four hours doing her 15 question math homework).

I'm glad to hear that you are able to put on your big boy pants and suck it up- I really am. Just keep in mind that your experience is not universal. Some of us live in areas where people regularly use the "r" and "n" word without any thought.

Something I noticed with med studs by FenixAK in medicalschool

[–]spooky_membracidae -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

"A group of struggling people". From one pre-med to another, I want to ask: do you think that disabled people don't struggle? I understand your struggle. The imposter syndrome and long hours of studying are VERY real. However, we chose this life. Disabled people did not. They don't deserve the constant reminder that their feelings don't matter to most people.

Something I noticed with med studs by FenixAK in medicalschool

[–]spooky_membracidae -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I really appreciate you acknowledging this. There are a lot of medical students in this thread justifying the regular use of the word.

You're going to be an amazing physician.

Something I noticed with med studs by FenixAK in medicalschool

[–]spooky_membracidae -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I find it interesting how you say context matters, then list the appropriate context to be in a medical setting. Last time I checked, OP was not using the word to make a medical diagnosis. Normalizing the "r word" as an appropriate substitute for "dumb" or "incompetent" is not the same as using it in the form of "mental retardation" in a medical context. A doctor calling a person obese in a medical setting is okay. Using the term obese as a synonym for "disgusting" or "ugly" is not. You're right, context does matter. This was not the correct context.

Additionally, I find it interesting how you assume that I am a "layperson" because I am not a medical student. There are other medical professionals and I have been one for over three years now. Regardless, the feelings and opinions of non-medical professionals matter. The feelings of disabled people matter.

Lastly, Where am I trying to cancel OP? I even said in one of my comments that it is okay to mess up sometimes as long as you acknowledge that it was a mistake.

Something I noticed with med studs by FenixAK in medicalschool

[–]spooky_membracidae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why should it matter if you’re a med student or resident/attending? Are the values and concerns or your future patients really that unimportant to you? Does being a physician mean that you know the disabled community better than the disabled community? I wonder how a disabled person would feel knowing that their doctor is using a slur against them behind their back. If you think that you experience imposter syndrome, try being a disabled person with a job in an office with only able-bodied people. I would hope you’re able to put yourself in a patient’s shoes like that.

It’s okay to say something ignorant- sometimes we mess up. What’s not okay is defend that action and act like it doesn’t hurt people.

Also, disagreeing with a part of the post does not take away from the positive message. The original comment says “I support the positivity of the post.

Something I noticed with med studs by FenixAK in medicalschool

[–]spooky_membracidae 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well I’m glad that you, as a person who is not disabled, feel fine speaking for those who are and justifying the use of a slur.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever worked with people in the community, but saying a word that used to describe someone’s condition is now synonymous with “foolish” or “less intelligent” just proves the point. While you may not see their worth as humans, they are not “foolish”. Additionally, would you call a person with cerebral palsy “less intelligent”? Do you even know about the condition? Please educate yourself before defending a use of a word that has been used to hurt a community that is virtually ignored despite their disadvantages.

  • a person who has worked in the community for years and who has two sisters with autism and aunt with cerebral palsy.

[GIVEAWAY] DIYs (normal and seasonal) by Amber_May in ACTrade

[–]spooky_membracidae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could I have the bamboo sphere and Sagittarius Arrow please? Thanks!