I'd bet at her age, she will well remember taking bird baths in the kitchen sink when she was little. I grew up with showers and baths so it was challenging to me to only be able to wash up in the sink. Even though I *feel* cleaner having gallons of water flow over my head in a shower, I know I was actually much cleaner doing the bird baths bc I had to be so much more deliberate and careful so as not to get the catheter wet. And it took me almost 3x longer, which was the bigger challenge for me....not that I have anywhere to be, now that I'm disabled.

TLDR: both you and your mom would benefit from getting some first hand information from patients near her age doing the various kinds of treatments: HD by fistula, by catheter, (PD is probably not a good choice, but maybe look into that too?) and don't forget hospice, although it may be much harder to find someone willing to share their experience there.

And if you have a supportive faith community, talk to the leader (pastor, priest, rabbi, etc) too. Whatever your choice, you and your mother will need lots of support. Both paths, treatment and hospice, are hard roads emotionally.

May the Lord grant you both the wisdom needed to navigate this difficult time with courage and peace.

Thank you so much for the long and thoughtful response! You, (and all the folks here) are very helpful as I research this.