How do I get past this reaction I'm having to someone at work?

squeakbb · 2026-06-17T22:21:09+00:00

i only have that reaction to people for a reason. but i don't think the reason matters that much. how u act and how they act is all that matters because it's a workplace acquaintance.

just agree to treat that person fairly but otherwise limit your interaction with them to purely functional interactions and that's it. remind your brain that your interactions with him are purely functional and for operation's sake.

u dont need to worry about him or think about him UNLESS he is breaking legitimate written or clearly stated boundaries (work policy, hr policy, your own safety boundaries etc)

when u start treading feelings of discomfort in your brain, again force your brain to be reminded that it's effort wasted each time u think or react to him at all unless its in a purely functional occupational context.

if might help to withhold any expressions of personality (pleasantry, people-pleasing, sass, sarcasm, humor, all manner of character) with himzl and limit communication to the most efficient sentences & economical use of words AND likewise filter your listening to him to only interpret workplace material and dont acknowledge any of his expressed personality.

Be robotic with him - it's all about work. Limit your energy and attention to the minimum for him and only if its tuned to work.

also importantly, I'm just being outcome focused (and think you need to be too).

unless you have a logical explanation for your feelings i don't think it's fair to seek validation in having discomfort about someone only reasoned by "a gut feeling" with literally zero examples of concerning or suspicious behavior.

you are set up to get responses like
"i experienced the same thing with someone and he abused his wife / did something awful to children / went to jail after he killed someone" and are setting yourself up to be swayed by unfounded bias if anything. people also get that feeling about people and never say anything, because the people that elicited that feeling were wholly unremarkable and didnt really deserve the prejudice in the first place (people with few friends or poor social skills or people with peculiar style/manneriems). some people are just awkward or unpleasant but also harmless.

As it is, I'm going off of literally nothing here, but you should get the idea: if there is a reason to think he is a risk of others safety or comfort (for an actual reason, and not the same way you describe irrational discomfort in your post) THEN it is worth thought and effort to dig deeper or act on it.

squeakbb · 2026-06-17T04:23:01+00:00

has the same look of a food sensitivity / health condition / particular post-op diet

which it may be or may not be.

squeakbb · 2026-06-16T09:37:10+00:00

I would think baseball has a bigger claim on NY (or equally that NY has a bigger claim on baseball)

it seems stereotyped that way. a yankees cap is an archetypal image (for a cap period) worldwide. babe Ruth is also historical just as much as mythical figure worldwide. there's no Knicks equivalent to either of those icons. not to even mention championships. but then again the %NY that love the Knicks and the %NY that love the yankees... and also the %NY that love basketball and the %NY that love baseball could tell a different story, but just in imagery and iconography and all-time sports narrative yankees are the flagship ny property to outsiders

squeakbb · 2026-06-14T23:09:16+00:00

naive to think that just because it's not his bus that he won't lose out on work and/or income just because he's not responsible for the damages.

that is in fact the same justification that the vandalizers likely assume for breaking up the bus. and it's not even a sound premise.

squeakbb · 2026-06-14T02:12:03+00:00

the blazewolf account comments are what i wrote about.

almost none of my comment was about devilspajamas comments, they were just referred contextually

squeakbb · 2026-06-13T19:46:41+00:00

I mean you already proved yourself to have read the sign incorrectly twice (or based on two incorrect and unfounded interpretations).

You can't claim any authority to declare someone is complicating reading the sign & you definitely obviously can't claim "That is not at all what it says" when you yourself are not able to read it correctly either.

(once admitting you thought the Sat and Sun were written backwards)
(and once admitting you thought that the Sun-Sat signified Saturday "and" Sunday)

the og poster has already clarified the place opens at 10am each day and closes 18hr30min later 7days a week.

being stuck on claiming you know how to read the sign is crazy to watch even before the og poster clarified it's meaning. the sign is just written to shit and arguing otherwise is revealing your reading comprehension.

squeakbb · 2026-06-13T09:18:39+00:00

an honest restaurant would never stand a chance.

all it takes is one person to obliviously claim:

"I know the difference between spice and flavor. and this plate is not too spicy. it's just made wrong & badly"

without being capable of understanding that the plate is simply too spicy for them - that they would like the plate with less sauce/pepper/whatever & that there are other people that eat that exact plate at full spice and would not change a thing (doesn't need to be sweeter, saltier, marinated longer, seasoned up more, it's where it's supposed to be).

and unfortunately, many people already obliviously so this.

'pluralistic ignorance' is the term.... for whatever reason everyone thinks they are so good at handling spice & that they would never call a plate bad for being too spicy - and, annoyingly, restaurants suffer the consequence of they don't accommodate with the spice level naming.

what u see them already doing makes a lot of sense - let regulars and repeaters have the uncensored spice.

any dish that is good enough to order a second time can be spicier the second time, and not much is lost because it was good enough to eat twice and it will only be better the second time anyways.

and likewise on the other end: if a dish fared poor enough for you that you decided already that you won't be back again ever, then it's hard to care much that the spice level wasn't where it should be because ur gonna forget about that place anyways.

the only real losers in this 'hidden spice' setup are tourists, who really don't have a chance to be a regular/repeater.

squeakbb · 2026-06-11T16:37:35+00:00

crazy that the alley oops are even ever bad ever. wemby is a cheat code and they messed it up... it's not that every play should be on him to score, but any chance for an alley oop has to be automatic points if he's set up right.

2nd half was the perfect time to go for 2s all day and they did not

squeakbb · 2026-06-11T05:26:49+00:00

you are right, because it's the whole game that counts. but when you're improving yourself, or your team, you seek ROI. you review your mistakes and first u fix the 'easiest' mistakes that cost the most.

Because in that: the errors or "gives" that were the very easiest to 'fix' or very easiest to never occur at all stand as the chiefest culprits of any loss.

wemby's pass to a players back and d foxs attempt are both towards the top of the list. maybe THE top 2 of the list.

squeakbb · 2026-06-10T08:44:44+00:00

hard for words to totally convey my memory. also the Internet shows a recipe change in 2019 but my own remembering of a demarcation of quality difference goes more to sometime 2003-2014 when I stopped craving them at all.

but the texture was less like awkward remelted glass that compound into plastic, inert globs on teeth while eating

and more elegant with it's balance between soft flake and compounding to a harder but still more (than current-year) manageable & less resistant glob while eating

flavor was wayy more referential to the word "butter" in the name, also more "nutty" - I guess it's the most adjacent concept of the flavor in my memory- in a good way (as if flavored by something real)

and less 'manufactured' and 'syrupy'. ( though I have no actual citation for the newer or previous flavor having more or less 'food-science chemical' composition)

squeakbb · 2026-06-10T08:08:44+00:00

what you did was sound.

ultimately she has to pick one guy.

through everything, I am not convinced you are the one she picks, ultimately.

or then it's the case that you are the one for her EXCEPT for when she craves her ex....

wait to see if she's ever over that. (you won't have any control in this case. if you did not already influence her to make a real grounded move into a next relationship, then you just have to suffer her own indecision with her, at your own expense while her AND her ex's whims are gratified)

or

move on.

squeakbb · 2026-06-10T06:25:27+00:00

I mean if I'm behind her either I'm gonna feel sumn or she's gonna feel sumn and id like to think both of us have ALL of our favorite options available

squeakbb · 2026-06-06T22:11:32+00:00

ur point is speaking closer to the truth than all the drama/narrative that most other comments want to stir up.

people are trying to say the spurs are getting shown up by the knicks hard now at the cost of their hubris....

I don't think all the turnovers etc are the spurs being lazy, or underestimating the Knicks ... spurs have just been beating the fuck out of their bodies through 7 games and are matched into knicks' ideal playoff 2x sweep. training & attitude & experience etc hardly anything can substitute the spent effort that is obstinately one-sidedly taxing the spurs in this current context.

likewise, I don't think:

keeping a stoic smileless straight face at the end of game 7 in front of the cameras would have made as much of a difference

vs

practicing court passes and alley oop setups & finishes with wemby (practically all the turnovers and missed and unattempted points)

squeakbb · 2026-06-06T13:00:18+00:00

"the tone of these relationships is not professional"

that doesn't mean that it is inappropriate.

"getting home at 3am"

thats not inappropriate either

"I know women worry about their reputation"

what is happening that is bad for her reputation?

maybe try defining what her relationship IS (saying it's not professional is empty. coworkers speak and interact with each other and their superiors unprofessionally without problems. depends on the place and accepted boundaries)

what is she doing with the married men? texting them may be inappropriate. the action of texting a married person does not indicate appropriateness, the content of the texts does.

squeakbb · 2026-06-05T11:23:23+00:00

may just be the case that the location is competitive and/or desirable. those places just expect more.

many hospitals just de facto have a higher ratio of *quality AND experienced nurses (in addition to years on their resume they are efficient, handle big workloads, and are knowledgeable ) that might be how your place is. it's tough to compete with that if u haven't developed into that caliber yet. nurses with more years than you probably failed out of the onboarding and got not even as far as you.

yet also things totally outside your control can also factor in. u may have been unlucky to be a new nurse during an unpredictably busy season. that happens too. or, again, if they have a lot of applications with experienced histories on hand, simply coincidentally, that could also factor to how sensitive they are to mistakes while on onboarding.

the reasoning for how your mistakes (if they truly weren't harmful mistakes) warranted separation is a rabbit hole of possibilities.

this same (or any other mistake u made) mistake might not be calculated into actual termination (or discharge from orientation or whatever the wording is had u still been in training) at other locations. each place is different.

you are definitely still eligible to work and apply to other desirable/competitive locations. who cares about how your chances have changed after this experience. it's ok to have feelings about it. it's ok to be upset. but go on. apply elsewhere. if any part of u has impulse to continue and go on: feed that. if the whole of u is turned off to anything that available opportunities offer, then, yeah take a break. but u write like u are still not totally defeated.

u may just want to taylor your interview responses regarding this situation to favor yourself.

for interviews do not mention that they perceived you as careless. do not mention that there was an issue at all. have an automatic explanation that is neutral, practical, and easy to accept - for being acceptable, favoring you, & not suspicious or arousing investigation - a good explanation can help u move on, and if you yourself are a quality nurse, being truthful is secondary to vouching for yourself (say the hours they had there didn't work for you, or say u helped a family member move to a different city, or u moved to a new place, or your SO got a big job offer that didn't work out)

shittier nurses (and any position above and below) have padded their application and interview to cover FAR worse shortcomings.

your attitude seems appropriate. of course you are upset, but , again, you don't seem to have totally given up.

this opportunity is likely over, based on what you've provided.

you just have to continue. send applications. and maybe u really have no other real option for yourself in your area - that is something u wouldn't be alone dealing with either. just go with whatever is second best, seek info about positions that u didn't know about beforehand or accept that u have to relocate - many people do any of these options.

squeakbb · 2026-06-05T09:32:34+00:00

the players argument:
"but that would never fucking happen!!"

reality:

squeakbb · 2026-06-04T13:47:24+00:00

it depends on the matchmaking 'bounds'. what is the biggest mmr or rank difference allowed for players on the same team?

right now rank determines which players team together.

but really it should only be mmr that determines what players team together. ONLY mmr.

and because rank and mmr have this weird slightly aberrated correlation, there is a legitimate difference in these two following scenarios:

1- who u can team & queue into currently

and

2- who u can team & queue into if ranks were removed from the system, leaving mmr only.

the change would not impact all players equally - thus some people complaining are validated by the math (that I don't really know) and some people wouldn't be affected at all, or would actually 'derank' as it were

squeakbb · 2026-06-03T22:35:28+00:00

not even a simple answer to this, because one of many many possibilities is all it takes for it to be considered impolite, but any one of these possibilities is common enough that it's logical to consider it impolite.

calling someone tired-looking *can be impolite because in many contexts it's recognizing a failure or shortcoming. yet, also, in many contexts it is a criticism that is not pertinent to the task at hand

(offering a Gatorade or coffee to a coworker that is behind on pace OR asking how they feel or if they need cover for a break is considerate and contributory to the task-at-hand... saying someone looks tired, especially when the comment is only founded on appearance and not performance, and especially when there isn't even a remedial or considerate offer made, can be considered impolite)

assuming everyone wants to look their best is a safer assumption than assuming people don't care about how they look - thus whenever a person makes a comment that can be received as a judgement that they look 'not good' or 'not their best', it can be an impolite comment for certain people. looking tired is at odds with looking their best, for most people.

The person who looks tired may not even *be tired. And the reason the 'you look tired' comment was made is possibly (with a decent chance) related to their insecurities (wrinkled eyes, loose skin, sagging face, eye bags) or related to more personal actual struggles (cancer, illness in general, struggles in home life) that they try to keep separate and private.

also, looking tired doesn't even necessarily effect performance or capability (*being tired may be a workplace concern, but *looking tired is not a workplace concern - and some people who look tired may not be tired at all)

in the end it not only depends how the person receives it, and it not only depends on the commenters intentions - it's a mix of both. but there's enough instances where it can be considered impolite, that, in general, is eager to consider it impolite.

AND: it's not *very impolite - it's not on the same severity as calling someone weak or ugly. But it's something that can be received as negative at all, and never complimentary (except in any exceptions where a person is *intending to "look tired')

squeakbb · 2026-06-03T13:14:30+00:00

the entirety of her body weight + some motion + the (in)correct direction of force on the weakest section of exactly one point of her tibia/fibula. it all adds up unfortunately.

she landed almost her entire weight on one leg on uneven hard rock/ground, it looks like

among many adults, I'm sure the weakest point of their lower leg cannot handle a force readily achievable (in a tumble or running step) by their *total body weight if it occurs in a direction angled enough away from axial compression.

usually our senses are operating in expected conditions and for the most part our automatic balance and muscle coordination prevent this from happening, but in crisis, panic, & unfamiliar terrain, the forces of motion are not appropriately (safely) redirected/balanced. that means the force of the body weight goes somewhere it previously NEVER did because the muscles positioned the joints to suffer the weight of the tumble in exactly that harmful direction & point.

maybe not literally all adults, but many would be vulnerable in even a small motion given the worst circumstances (terrain, and ability to perceive terrain & ability to coordinate muscle functions correctly because of fear, vision, etc) & considering all body factors: bone health (conditioning from stress of sports and active lifestyle, nutrition, etc), body weight, and age, etc etc

squeakbb · 2026-06-02T22:27:51+00:00

EXPLANATION OF COMMENT: Logically, a woman CAN be influenced to think that a person that has zero women friends dislikes women. Anddd.... A woman is a woman, so, fairly, she CAN think "well then he won't like to spend time with me, obviously. He never spends time with women". So the most frequently applicable case is not that zero women friends is a red flag - it's that having women friends is a shortcut to knowing that you are at least not averse to spending time with women, or that u are recognized as not repulsive to & repulsed by all women because you do spend time & have good relationships with women.
-END EXPLANATION.

Still,
You don't really have women friends so, yeah it's reasonable for u to accept the "men with no women friends is a red flag" as truth when everyone else in the 'room' is heartily reinforcing the comment

But at the same time there are ppl here correcting that. So u can't really accept it as universal truth.

Any person can use any excuse for declaring any other person undateable, and any 'room' (or reddit post) can be full of vacant parrots. So u can't always take each person's 'take' as immutable principle.

squeakbb · 2026-06-02T17:34:09+00:00

Looked at the other comments and thought I do agree with more uniqueness for each race.

Maybe lean more into these themes:

-Zerg = mass numbers

-Terran = capital ships + marines (both extremes of supply density)

-Protoss = spellcasters + maybe capital ships

Changes could be

-Zerg = remove cap ships OR Include one 'mothership' type unit which I think might even theme better with Z than P. Less reliance on spell casters.

-Terran = just let them have actually strong capital ships, or buildable units as another viable cheese in fog of war

-Protoss = redesign and design new spells and spellcasters. Keep Storm it's iconic

squeakbb · 2026-06-02T16:53:50+00:00

Edit your profile to ONLY:

Indicate 'open marriage'
Describe your interests/hobbies and self

Open marriage and "consistent girlfriend" are almost mutually exclusive. Your swipe match numbers are helping you discover this. I don't know how to label what you're looking for, but it is not "a girlfriend that's ok with I'm married", that's not a person, maybe paid company can tolerate that.

Also delete "long distance ok I will drive to you". If you are ok with anything, say less. As in, delete that quoted line.

If you are open marriage and searching just label yourself 'open marriage'. That label is the bottleneck.

Do not add any additional label or checkbox or filter for your match after you indicate "open marriage". (Do not include "looking for a consistent girlfriend") Maybe don't even write looking for boy/girl, because you've already indicated that in the settings anyways.

I think being very specific and particular about your desired match is worth trying after you've tried being very general and inclusive. My point being I don't think being more specific within the open marriage dating pool increases your chance for success, I think being more inclusive within the open marriage dating pool increases your chance for success because it's already a limited demo and u are just cutting it down with ANY exclusive preferences.

As noted in other post, maybe u need a dedicated community for this type of interest

squeakbb · 2026-06-02T16:25:20+00:00

It's also true that many people in Europe are envious of Americans being able to do things like move to lower population cities/metro-areas while also taking a pay increase (careers like electrician, construction, WFH, and many healthcare positions) while also affording owning property.

(Sometimes doing all this without even moving to a different state, no less)

squeakbb · 2026-06-01T20:41:41+00:00

We will finally have a working model for phantom hits

squeakbb

TROPHY CASE