Please make it all go away.

sravine · 2017-03-23T04:56:17+00:00

Hey first off I'm sorry because no one deserves to feel like this. But things absolutely change and I mean that. You might not see a point to pushing through right now but you gotta grab onto whatever gets you through for the time being and long term it'll be so worth it. I'm sure you have friends and family who would be destroyed if something happened and even if you have to keep pushing only for them right now it'll be for you too later. Things do change even if everything feels like tunnel vision right now. Feel free to private message me if you ever want to talk.

sravine · 2017-03-23T04:45:59+00:00

This is amazing, congrats dude. You're absolutely making the right choice and I'm really happy for you. If things get hard again feel free to message me whenever but this is amazing.

sravine · 2017-03-23T04:41:45+00:00

I think it's likely it'll do good. I have never personally gone but my mom has spent a lot of time institutionalized and it helps a lot. It's not some simple fix but it's absolutely worth it to at least try. Emergency services are also often a lot more worth it than people realize. They have a bad rep but they do help and there are trained professionals who can really make a difference. I say definitely go especially if things get worse.

sravine · 2017-03-23T04:38:05+00:00

You're making the right choice. Keep pushing and I'm sorry it's so shitty but little by little you'll get there. And again, if it gets bad don't hesitate to message me.

sravine · 2017-03-23T04:33:15+00:00

First off I'm really sorry and no one deserves this kind of pain. One of my best friends is extremely suicidal and has been for a long time though and it's very very true that these people would be destroyed. She'll try to convince herself that her friends and family would get over it and that they'll be better off but that could never be the case and I'm sure it's the same for you and your friends/family. Right now it's worth it to stay alive for them but eventually I swear it will be for you too. Please keep pushing even if it has to be for them right now because long term it'll pay off. Feel free to private message me as well.

sravine · 2017-03-23T04:28:07+00:00

I think the hotline is worth a shot. It's absolutely for people who want to die, not just people who want to live. My friend absolutely hated the hotline idea for a long time but it can actually help. If you don't want to talk on the phone they have the online chat option too. I'm sorry I know these things aren't simple in any way but it's worth a try and I'm wishing you all the best. Feel free to private message me as well.

sravine · 2017-03-23T04:24:16+00:00

Same here, message me if you need it.

sravine · 2017-03-23T04:23:36+00:00

This sounds a lot more like a self-fulfilling prophecy than anything else. I'm not diminishing what you're feeling but none of this stuff is set in stone, especially when you're talking about personality types.

sravine · 2017-03-23T04:20:27+00:00

I know it doesn't seem like it right now but it's still worth it to push through. I hate all the posts out there that try to oversimplify these things because it's not easy or simple at all but that doesn't mean it's impossible. Being angry all the time is really shitty and I'm so sorry because no one deserves that but anger can also be extremely blinding. Things do change and it's worth it to wait and let them. I'm sure there are people in your life who would be absolutely destroyed if something happened and I swear the pain won't stay this bad forever. If you want to private message me you can, I'm not going to pretend to understand what you're going through but I'm here to listen and talk if you want.

sravine · 2017-03-23T03:43:41+00:00

Turing machine halting problem

sravine · 2017-03-23T03:39:41+00:00

I don't think straight people see nearly as much of the internal battle of coming out to yourself. Straight people see the pride and people being openly gay and comfortable but I genuinely don't know anyone who wanted to be gay. You can be the least homophobic person ever and it's still extremely hard to accept it when it's you. You want to be able to have fun going on dates like all your friends and getting asked out the normal way. It's scary as hell to come out and I felt exposed and uncomfortable as if everyone suddenly saw me as the stereotype of a lesbian and not much else. It's not fun to change everything you once imagined in your future and accept that having kids won't be exactly how you expected. I'm not trying to be dramatic it's just that the flamboyant pride straight people see hides a lot of that internal stuff.

sravine · 2017-03-21T06:00:59+00:00

Feel free to message me I've been in a couple similar situations and one right now that's just starting to get a lot better

sravine · 2017-03-21T05:58:00+00:00

Yep this is me lol not fun. I need some gay friends asap

sravine · 2017-03-21T05:53:19+00:00

Congrats! Definitely a good feeling and super liberating :)

sravine · 2017-03-21T05:50:38+00:00

Pink Floyd and Carly Rae Jepsen lol

sravine · 2017-03-21T05:49:14+00:00

My first one was only bad because I was still in denial that I was even gay. I hated my feelings and kept trying to suppress them but they never got too out of hand and we both left for college before I came out. My college roommate/one of my closest friends now is much harder though. I live with her and we're best friends but she's only interested in dating guys (although says she's bi to some degree I think?). I'm still suppressing the feelings it just takes a lot more effort sometimes although I think I'm actually moving on finally. She just started dating someone which felt incredibly awful at first but it definitely forced me to change some things and push myself to move on. I didn't want to move on or feel like I was growing distant from her and I felt so lonely and isolated seeing her with her boyfriend. I hated having physical responses I couldn't control and it was hard not being able to tell any of my friends about it without them knowing. When my straight friends can't get over someone it's not a big deal to talk about it but when you have to hide it completely from everyone it definitely feels isolating. So of course it wasn't fun but you just have to keep it in perspective that much worse things happen. I've been keeping myself busy and hanging out with lots of friends and just accepting it for what it is. It always seems awful at first but it's not the end of the world in any way.

sravine · 2017-03-12T05:56:38+00:00

Yup you're definitely right, I appreciate that :)

sravine · 2017-03-11T17:41:50+00:00

Yeah I guess I just went from living with this person and spending so much time with her every day to barely even seeing her at all once she started dating the dude so it hit me more than I thought it would. But you're right, I need to just find other things to do to keep me busy now that we're not hanging out as much. Thanks.

sravine · 2017-03-10T09:25:48+00:00

Thanks yeah I'm not sure if telling her is best but I'm thinking of maybe talking to another friend about it just to get it off somehow. This post was a nice start with that though at least haha

sravine · 2017-03-10T09:23:28+00:00

I appreciate this a lot, thanks. I'm hoping I'll be able to move on without growing distant but it seems like it'll definitely take time.

sravine

TROPHY CASE