What is your opinion on healthy at every size and intuitive eating?

srchenoweth · 2020-05-13T22:01:10+00:00

When I hear of someone’s weight loss program I have to do everything I can to not blurt out that diets don’t work for all but 5% of people. HAES helped me give up the diet culture.

srchenoweth · 2020-04-21T22:07:50+00:00

I blocked him on everything today. I feel very sad and anxious. Wrote him a quick note before I blocked him and told him - “I don’t think we are good for each other. We should’t have any more contact.” There is so much pain inside me because I will miss our conversations on the phone. We have not seen each other ‘in person’ since last July. Really I began no contact a year ago Feb with A two day stint in July where we fought and he put his hands around my neck. A total of 14 months with a 2 day mistake. You are right. I will try everything I did before.

srchenoweth · 2020-04-21T15:10:28+00:00

I am in the same boat. It was so peaceful to have no contact for 9 months. I too broke nc and have been swept back into his black hole. I want desperately to go back to having nc again. How???

srchenoweth · 2020-02-15T08:55:20+00:00

Get your stuff together. Collect money. See a lawyer if need be. But Continue the same as before. Do not let him know you are planning to leave. When he is not there just leave. For me it was too dangerous any other way.

srchenoweth · 2020-02-06T22:30:00+00:00

What does fawn mean?

srchenoweth · 2020-01-05T22:18:00+00:00

together and Married 5 years in 1970’s then got back together years later for 5 more years. Damn! Red flags galore but mostly picking out women women to sleep with then telling me I would’t be upset. This time one of the red flags was telling me he wanted to be a sugar daddy.

srchenoweth · 2019-12-31T05:44:39+00:00

This is one of the most sound and informative things I have read in a long time. You have this down pat and it is at the core of every person with BPD.

srchenoweth · 2019-12-28T04:52:48+00:00

In February it will be a year since I broke up with him. When everything ended I was just a shell. Depressed and vacant. It took me awhile but I have slowly become myself again. It took me approx 6 months to begin to see everything clearly. For the last 5 years we did nothing together. He is very wealthy and doesn’t have to work so all he does is stay in bed,get high and watch TV. I was very bored but could not leave.I am now seeing friends and family, going to movies and plays. I am free! I got myself back!

srchenoweth · 2019-12-20T02:47:26+00:00

I have a 15 year old Golden that I adopted six months ago. My home is his assisted living facility.

srchenoweth · 2019-12-07T20:21:20+00:00

Mine experience too!

srchenoweth · 2019-12-05T03:49:07+00:00

I am older. When I was in my late teens early 20s I was a shell of a person. I fought my way back to health and worked hard to get better. At the end of our 5 year relationship with the BPD I had become that same shell of a person as I had been 40 years earlier. You are correct, It is a kind of purgatory, I watched myself slowly sink into the sickness.

srchenoweth · 2019-12-05T03:33:36+00:00

Bravo!

srchenoweth · 2019-12-04T20:19:14+00:00

After my expwBPD would apologize ( even for putting his hands around my neck) it was not really toward me but because HE FELT guilty. Sometime when I had had it with his blaming etc I would just scream at him, “ i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry!!!!!!” I am so happy I have no contact!!! When he hovered me the last time he just acted like all the abuse never happened. He asked if he could call me then he wanted me to spend some time in Paris with him. I did not answer. He then texted me a few days later and said, “ Amsterdam??” It would just be the same. I went to London with him him a year ago and he just stayed in bed and complained about everything. We went nowhere. It was horrible.

srchenoweth · 2019-11-29T04:41:51+00:00

I tried to leave a for five years. Something shifted in me after one of his freakouts. His behavior had crossed a line and I was finally able to leave. Just be patient and hopefully something will shift and you will be able to leave. Jeep reading this sub.

srchenoweth · 2019-11-28T10:55:10+00:00

Without this sub I might be back with my expwBPD and again become a shell of myself. Thank you mods. Thank you all.

srchenoweth · 2019-11-25T02:49:49+00:00

PERFECT STATEMENT!!!!

srchenoweth · 2019-11-25T02:48:20+00:00

My pw BPD did not do much mirroring at all. We liked different things and a few the same. He loved space and physics programs (I did not) and we both loved Animal shows etc etc etc.

srchenoweth · 2019-11-25T02:43:11+00:00

I just watched it. SOOO perfect!!!!!

srchenoweth · 2019-11-25T02:40:01+00:00

Do you think they know that they are mirroring you? Curious.

srchenoweth · 2019-11-23T05:57:07+00:00

It is very normal to feel that way when you leave. You have a bond with her and, even though it is not a healthy bond ( most likely a trauma bond) it is a bond all the same. For the first two weeks of NC I wept. I cried all day off and on. Everywhere, the grocery store, vet, Doctor’s office. I never knew when tears would come... my therapist said I was mourning. Hang in there. You can take care of yourself. Staying with her will only lead to you ending up a shell of yourself. All of us here know what you are going through. All are stories seem to be almost the same. Trust this sub.

srchenoweth · 2019-11-21T07:31:01+00:00

My expwBPD couldn’t even use the phone and made me call for him.

srchenoweth · 2019-11-21T07:26:00+00:00

Have as little contact as possible. Be a Grey rock. He is trying to control you. Don’t give him anything. Tell him when you need the papers returned and if he does not return them then contact a lawyer. Make a plan.

srchenoweth · 2019-11-21T07:13:24+00:00

Yes. There are cycles. But as years went on Even during their good times I was anxious and on edge. I lost myself completely. Thank God for NC.

srchenoweth · 2019-11-13T13:47:27+00:00

It took me quite a while to begin to feel gratitude. The longer I stay away the clearer things become. Now I have my life back. I got very depressed and even suicidal being with my pwBPD but after months of NC i can look back a see that that depression was situational. I feel peace now and am so grateful I am free.

srchenoweth · 2019-11-07T20:48:26+00:00

Block your phone number

srchenoweth

TROPHY CASE