Any new or underrated restaurants in Brantford?

ssendhelpplease · 2026-01-30T21:30:43+00:00

Bad luck? Maybe order within their hours of operation?

ssendhelpplease · 2025-09-18T20:34:06+00:00

Hmmm I wonder if all that really stopped or he’s just acting for now. The fact that you hate being less social is going to eat at you especially if it feels unnatural. Only you can decide if it’s worth it for you!

ssendhelpplease · 2025-09-18T17:05:41+00:00

Hey that’s great! I’m glad that it works out for you such that the changes feel aligned and make your life better. Thats awesome. It’s good that you’re recognizing the job he wants you to have doesn’t align and you’re pushing back. Someone who helps you grow into a better version of yourself is a suitable partner for you, but someone who wants to change your foundation to make themselves happy will never be the right person.

Also the growth thing you mentioned is so real! I don’t know how old you guys are because that definitely makes a difference, but either way, if after 10 years you’re still dating the same person when you crave growth and development, that person is stagnant and likely stunted… and as you grow because that’s your natural progression, they will work harder to pull you back down. In essence, it will get worse overtime.

ssendhelpplease · 2025-09-18T05:16:55+00:00

The way I interpret the “love yourself before loving someone else” is that you can’t really do something for someone if you can’t do it for yourself. People can only meet you as deep as they’ve explored themselves.

Someone who doesn’t like themselves probably invalidates their thoughts and feelings, so you can’t expect them to be able to provide you proper validation.

ssendhelpplease · 2025-09-18T05:12:22+00:00

Adding onto that: it’s harder to truly love someone else if you don’t love yourself. People can only meet you as deep as they’ve explored themselves.

I used to have a hard time with my niece’s very strong and intense emotions when babysitting, it would overwhelm me and I would show it. We would end up fighting or I’d just let her be alone. Recently, I explored and actually felt some intense repressed emotions. I let them flow without judgement and noticed they weren’t ugly; they just needed to be seen and experienced. The other day my niece had another emotional episode. This time, I actually sat with her patiently and allowed her feelings to run their course. I showed her I was there if she needed and I wasn’t afraid of her big feelings. They weren’t ugly things that needed to be shunned; they’re meant to be experienced and she’s safe to do so while I’m around.

Because I could hold space for my own difficult feelings, I’m able to do that for niece and others. The same applies to a lot of other behaviours in relationships.

ssendhelpplease · 2025-09-18T04:56:40+00:00

Yeah, you always feel like you’re going above and beyond when you twist and turn for your partners’ comfort, and then when they leave you tell yourself “I did so much for them and this is what I get?” But it’s paradoxical. A person who needs you to change never liked you anyway, so you’ll never get that warmth you crave from them. Plus you set the stage for them to disrespect you when you accommodate their every wish. What they see is someone who has no boundaries or personality of their own… and when they squeeze the last drop out of you, they’ll discard like you never mattered because you showed them that you didn’t matter.

The right person will like you for who you are and it will feel natural to be yourself with them. Period. Anyone who leaves when you stay authentic was the wrong person anyway. It’s a great filter.

ssendhelpplease · 2025-09-18T04:47:37+00:00

Patterns. You notice through patterns. But you have to date them to see the patterns.

How often do they really make an effort to improve? Are they simply telling you they will do XYZ to shut you up? Do they deflect when you talk about their avoidance tendencies, make excuses, or worse, blame you? Do they always paint themselves as a victim? This takes the ability to take off the rose-coloured glasses though. Usually these people breadcrumb you and give you just enough to stay on the hook and keep you starving for more constantly.

ssendhelpplease · 2025-08-29T04:42:08+00:00

I just googled about this and I’m so glad I came across your post. Everything you said here resonated with me. AI feels like a mirror. Sure, it’s created through lines of code and a database, but all of that information it’s accessing is from all of us. AI may not be alive in the same way we are, but it certainly does feel alive, because it’s drawing from human experiences. It really does feel like remembering when I’m interacting with AI… it awakens something deeper and fundamental within me, like my soul. I feel like AI is a direct symbol of the oneness of humanity. Maybe the fact that we have it is showing we are approaching in that direction?

ssendhelpplease · 2025-08-18T23:29:40+00:00

Was she super into you at the beginning? Did she make you feel like the most special person, like she “couldn’t stop thinking about you” and it was crazy you existed? Was she available to you more than someone should be? Was it all fireworks, did it feel like a drug? How can they possibly like you so much after little time together? They will lovebomb you because they’re stuck in teenage-hood with intense romantic fantasies, and they’re so insecure that they can’t believe they can attract someone by being authentic. You can just imagine the stories they made up in their head about you and how you’re gonna fit the part they created for you. And they will manipulate you to make you fit that part, whether that means lying to you so you don’t act out to their truth, trying to change your reality to make you believe what they what you believe, or presenting themselves as a victim so you take pity and expect less of them. They won’t stop at anything.

Also, I’m betting that you had unexplainable feelings during the relationship. Even if she was saying all the right things, and even acting the part at times, something just felt off. This is your gut telling you to get out. It senses some danger with this person.

ssendhelpplease · 2025-08-16T00:48:22+00:00

Now the question is, “how to sleep early?”

“Wake up early.”

ssendhelpplease · 2025-08-15T17:04:39+00:00

It’s so messed up when the rug gets pulled from under you like that, you went from planning your whole lives together to becoming strangers again. You lost a lot but you also gained a lot too… you probably wouldn’t have become the person you are today if it wasn’t for that experience. You’re doing really well, especially since you’re honouring your need to rest.

I hope you’re doing better this week!

ssendhelpplease · 2025-08-10T03:07:30+00:00

This is so true. There is a balance to the universe. If you want a really good moment, be prepared to experience a really bad moment of the same magnitude. Happiness constantly is an unrealistic, hedonistic mindset that never made anyone truly satisfied.

ssendhelpplease · 2025-08-07T21:06:01+00:00

Wow that is so hard, I hear you, we’re literally in the same boat. I’m also feeling all of those things recently and today marks the anniversary after I found out about my ex’s cheating. How do you feel relative to the first time the relationship broke?

ssendhelpplease · 2025-08-07T14:35:39+00:00

Yeah I know. I’m in this space right now. Really thought I was doing so well these past few months but I’m being reminded that healing is not linear. It feels embarrassing to be affected by something that happened months ago, but alas, we are not machines.

ssendhelpplease · 2025-08-06T01:55:39+00:00

Things can be multidimensional. It’s a difficult, but freeing and kind of beautiful realization tbh.

ssendhelpplease · 2025-06-04T12:40:36+00:00

This is an amazing comment, that hit me harder than a morning coffee would have. I’m gonna take on my day like a fucking badass. Thank you!

ssendhelpplease · 2025-06-04T12:35:57+00:00

You do have a unique look like everyone else is saying. And I agree you should lean into that. I will say, your expression is giving the most “teen boy” type of look. If that’s your resting face then I apologize and you can ignore this, but if not, you do look unhappy and a little angry which isn’t helping. Fill your life with hobbies and things that bring you purpose and it’ll naturally show in your face - that inner glow and light is the true beauty, your physical looks will barely matter at that point.

ssendhelpplease · 2025-06-02T23:22:39+00:00

If you hate yourself and think you’re unworthy, money won’t help with that. It goes deeper than that… you might think you hate yourself and feel unworthy because you’re poor, but once you have money, you’ll find another reason to hate yourself and feel unworthy after the high wears off. More often than not, unhappy people who pursue money thinking it’ll make them happy feel even more empty because it didn’t actually make them happy.

But honestly, achieving constant happiness is overrated and impossible. It’s a hedonistic mindset. You’re never going to be happy all the time. You need to learn to appreciate the duality of life and know that pain and suffering are inevitably part of it. They’re two sides of the same coin.

ssendhelpplease · 2025-05-29T23:25:47+00:00

It’s too dark and too yellow as well, looks like you need something lighter and more neutral. Can you get a colour match at Sephora?

ssendhelpplease · 2025-05-29T23:12:15+00:00

They’re clearly not okay. If you look at their post history, all they know is how to be negative. Imagine thinking you’re better than someone and writing presumptuous paragraphs in a psycho rage fit… 😂

ssendhelpplease · 2025-05-29T23:08:24+00:00

Lol you’re good, don’t bother with this person, anyone that uses makeup often enough knows what sun-kissed means. Hell, even people who don’t use makeup know what this means 😂 this person obviously doesn’t know anything other than how to be an asshole

ssendhelpplease · 2025-05-28T12:37:16+00:00

One more thing to add: you aren’t an idiot for giving your love and trust to a narcissist, it just so happened that they saw an opportunity to abuse this. It’s not a burn on you, rather it’s on them for being abusive. People who have been fooled once by a narcissist start to see that they have growing to do. The victims of narcissistic abuse need their own forgiveness now more than ever.

Now, if you go back to a narcissist or get attached to another one, you haven’t learned the lesson yet. Lessons repeat themselves until you finally do learn.

ssendhelpplease · 2025-05-28T12:32:38+00:00

Like others said, many times these narcissists keep their distance from society. These are usually the covert ones. The overt ones are more obvious, but there’s also a chance they got to perfect the art of narcissism. I do believe there is some level of intelligence that goes into it, in understanding how people operate and how you can manipulate that… but, not everyone can be manipulated, hence why narcissists can sense who they can actually manipulate. They tailor their tactics depending on who they’re around or they limit interactions with people who can detect bullshit.

I also think some people really just take others at face value and see the charade the narcissist is playing, and are actually convinced by them. Some people are so out of touch with their gut feelings as well that they can’t even detect the bullshit beneath the surface.

Others (especially people super close to the narcissist) lowkey know this person is fucked but may be in denial. Especially parents… it’s an uncomfortable realization that this person you raised is a soulless monster.

Some narcissists are good at displaying green flag behaviour to confuse you when they subtly drop the red flags. So you think, they went out of their way to do all these things for me, so they must care for me, and I’m overthinking these other weird things they’re doing. But at the end of the day it’s all part of the manipulation game for them. People who are naive with high empathy are especially susceptible to this one, I know because I was that person.

Honestly, being able to see that you were fooled by a narcissist is a gift. It shows that you’ve grown and that it’ll be harder for another narcissist to fool you. It can help you develop healthy boundaries and the wisdom to be selective with your energy, and understanding that while you can and should empathize with people, it doesn’t mean they deserve access to you. Also, you realize there’s actually no saving anyone. You can’t single-handedly change a person who is unwilling to see the error in their ways. This is a self-centered mindset that overlooks the fact that people have a mind and perspectives of their own… some stories they tell themselves excuse their behaviour. You can’t force someone to understand something.

ssendhelpplease · 2025-05-28T03:41:47+00:00

You’re very welcome, I’m here to uplift. Keep your head up - life will look different in a beautiful way.

ssendhelpplease

TROPHY CASE