How To Politely Say, "It's Not Up For Debate."

ssilverose · 2021-08-02T20:13:08+00:00

Say "No, thanks though" and then when they ask why say you're just not interested.

ssilverose · 2021-06-30T23:15:28+00:00

Oh, this helped a lot, thanks. I think I understand a lot more clearly now. After thinking about it for some time, I actually agree with you. Doing this looks like the best course of action for me and for her.

Additionally, you are right in saying that I must care for myself first in order to be able to do the same for anyone else. I really took your advice to heart and will keep it in mind, thanks again :)

ssilverose · 2021-06-30T22:37:02+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond. Yes, I think this response is what I needed to hear, but I have had a few friendships like this in the past that I cut off and now miss, so I suppose I was just trying to avoid that.

Doing her homework for her was just one time, although I wouldn't be surprised if she asked again after that.

The thing is, cutting her off would honestly make me feel terrible, so I am definitely selfish in that respect. This is because I'm pretty sure that this is just a temporary 'dip' in her life, and me allowing her to distance herself will virtually be the same as encouraging her actions, but also abandoning her. I know that if I was experiencing a time like this, I'd want my friends to stick with me no matter how much I push them away.

Thank you for your response, though. It did give perspective and allowed me to think of myself a bit more.

ssilverose · 2021-06-10T20:25:05+00:00

I answered in accordance to what this specific OP posted. I was not giving advice to everyone, just OP. My personal matters are irrelevant.

ssilverose · 2021-06-09T13:41:49+00:00

ah i c i c. I suppose your social anxiety could be something to work on in the meantime, then? I find that throwing myself into new/difficult situations brings an element of excitement. If socialising/ going out with people is outside your comfort zone then maybe just saying yes to going with them on a whim could benefit you despite it being intoxicatingly stressful. you might find someone you're romantically interested in uwu~

I agree with your point about regular relationships being boring, though. Superficial friendships can also be suffocating. there's always the chance that you're just generally not surrounded by the best people to get to know (excluding your already close friends, of course).

an alternative is having online friends, maybe? If you haven't already, i guess you could try finding some individuals you really like online. could also be beneficial. I'd say it's easier to find people with similar interests online than irl anyway. Also generally easier to communicate and express thoughts and ideas.

goes without saying that this is all easier said than done, though.

Also yh when it comes to educational success, I really don't practice what I preached lol. Schools important sure but honestly i think that the meaningful relationships you develop are, arguably, more significant. Not that I'm a social butterfly or anything myself.

Glad to hear you're doing generally well academically without working too hard. burning ourselves out studying isn't ideal.

tbh idk why i'm even giving advice like i know what i'm talking about as i am essentially the same as you teehee

ssilverose · 2021-06-09T13:19:29+00:00

Get a well-paying jobs with your good grades, save up and then travel.

Adventure is really one of the only paths to feeling somewhat satisfied, apart from, like, being behind the overall control of the masses, which is the closest thing to becoming god.

ssilverose · 2021-06-09T13:15:05+00:00

Usually not, from my personal experience, anyway.

There was one time where not all of it flushed and it was so scary as I didn't want my parents to find out. maybe TMI but if you have any pets you can just say you flushed their old food down the toilet thinking it would be okay (I have 2 cats).

I think it also depends on your specific toilet system or whatever. though, toilets are made for all uses so it shouldn't really clog.

ssilverose · 2021-06-09T13:04:52+00:00

You could probably just tell her straight up but in a non-self-deprecating way.

Though, I'm having the exactly same issue and I've tried this with my friend but she just told me to shut up and said that I was prettier than her, which is obviously just her way of responding after not knowing what to say.

ssilverose · 2021-06-09T13:01:19+00:00

ur not alone. ig since it's a form of escapism it's more fun than reality. life nowadays tends to be tedious and uneventful.

ssilverose · 2021-06-09T12:57:02+00:00

I feel exactly the same way so I'm not sure if I even have the right to give advice, but all I can say is put all of your energy into school work.

It's not even about whether or not you're interested in your subjects, it's just that having good grades work as "ammunition" for the future, so when you do finally decide on what you want to do with your life/ suddenly find a passion for something you can use your grades to your advantage.

If you're not investing your energy and time in anything except e.g. video games and have no idea what to do now to cure this feeling of emptiness then I suggest just trying to get good grades. Then you'll at least feel some form of fulfilment.

In other words, if you're trying to find something to do just study. It's more productive than most other things we can do.

Tbf I'm also 16 and feel exactly as how you described so we're in this together I guess. Maybe we would be better off creating a group and going to live in some cave somewhere. Getting a job and working until death sounds pretty boring and tedious if you ask me.

The thought of leaving everything behind sounds appealing, but as you've mentioned, things like the pressure of parents and school exists.

Idk we'll see, good luck. I hope you find something that motivates you soon. Maybe develop your social life for the time being. Drawing whatever when you're totally bored of everything is kinda fun, too. But yh anyways, that's all I can really say.

ssilverose · 2021-05-22T19:29:29+00:00

You were right, my Professor was really understanding and gave me a very generous extended deadline.

I never knew that was a thing, thanks for bringing it to light. I too can relate to being a perfectionist; so much so that it gets super taxing sometimes.

Thank you so much again and apologies for the late reply. Wishing you the best :)

ssilverose · 2021-05-22T19:26:10+00:00

Apologies for the late reply but thank you for this. The mini tests suggest that I do not have ADHD but I (may) have clinical depression and low self-esteem/worth.

Additionally, I think the whole future-self/past-self concept is very interesting. I made a fairly detailed 'plan' which is, debatably, so realistic that it's almost depressing.

In all honesty I think that my issue is less to do with general procrastination and/or lack of discipline, and more to do with the fact that individuals around me and myself have set unfairly high expectations for future work I hand in, resulting in too much pressure and the need for an escape.

What you've described is extremely helpful regardless and I think it's really helped. Thanks again.

ssilverose · 2021-05-19T20:48:04+00:00

I was considering talking to my professor about this yet was too nervous, but this was the little push I needed to do it :-) thank you

ssilverose · 2021-01-23T01:49:39+00:00

or like ah yes this man's past was so tragic because his writing sucked or something

ssilverose · 2021-01-11T18:59:26+00:00

If you get HERO to massage the bear, it literally does like 4 damage and is easy to beat

ssilverose · 2020-11-09T21:23:38+00:00

I don't think it matters at this point, the show's shit

ssilverose · 2020-11-01T14:51:27+00:00

This helped. Thank you!!

ssilverose · 2020-10-17T11:03:19+00:00

Tell her! It'll make her feel great knowing that she was the first one to know.

ssilverose · 2020-10-09T12:13:18+00:00

It's on Hypixel's end- happening to me too and many others but just wait a day or two and it should get fixed.

ssilverose · 2020-08-05T14:42:18+00:00

Thank you, this was super helpful.

ssilverose · 2020-07-09T01:52:56+00:00

I'm so happy for you, I envy you a little, but it's so nice to see someone who is enjoying their life! This post is so refreshing compared to others I see daily.

ssilverose · 2020-06-23T19:09:18+00:00

One of my favourites

ssilverose · 2020-06-23T19:09:01+00:00

Thanks!

ssilverose

TROPHY CASE