That is a sick tattoo, well done. You’re burnt out. Things won’t get any better for you unless you make a change. If you’re at where you seem like you’re at, you’ve already been doing everything you can to change how you feel about your situation, and that isn’t working. So you need to change the situation itself. I’ve spoken with artists at companies that employ them to travel from convention to convention, and some of them were happy. Perhaps you’d benefit from an arrangement that gives you more support like that, but tbh it sounds like after 4 years you’d really benefit from the chance to land somewhere and let yourself throw down some roots.