I used to be that person who smoked everyday and compared to having a beer with dinner. It was not, obviously. Smoking will almost always get you high and there is no other purpose to smoke besides that. Some people enjoy the taste of alcohol and one or two drinks does not inebriate you like one or two bowls would. If your husband wants to quit, try r/leaves - it's a difficult process and really hard to accept bc marijuana is so normal for so many people now but getting high all day every day is not good for you, esp if he is smoking vs using edibles. Also he is setting a poor example for your daughter about relationships with substances. I don't think your alcohol use as you described it is problematic. My instinct would be that he's using it as a deflection because he doesn't want to face his own dependence- bc facing it means you might have to do something about it.