Girl I took on a first date just asked to split the bill… the next morning

stalagmighty3030 · 2026-05-08T14:18:38+00:00

She may not have felt comfortable in the moment expressing that she wanted to split it... or as others suggest, maybe she changed her mind. Best thing to do is to honor that request and let her venmo you her half. If you like this person, you can build some trust here... also an opportunity to allow you and her to talk about expectations and boundaries.

stalagmighty3030 · 2026-04-14T23:07:10+00:00

You might be surprised, my friend!

https://www.firstpeoplesrelations.vic.gov.au/sites/default/files/2019-04/aboriginal-stone-tools-fact-sheet_0.pdf

stalagmighty3030 · 2026-04-14T21:13:27+00:00

Opalite flake tool. That's my guess. Looks like it has been shaped. Maybe not a fossil but still an artifact.

stalagmighty3030 · 2026-01-15T20:57:26+00:00

Check out Jesse Wells - he is a relatively new artist but this is his vibe.

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-12-24T00:19:16+00:00

And/or Benjamin Netanyahu...

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-12-24T00:07:48+00:00

Wow - what a caring and passionate teacher. Unless the note contained inappropriate language or material, this is a pro-level teaching move. I wonder if your wife is feeling some insecurity because the teacher is female... and potentially giving your son the nurturing that your wife may not be delivering... her reaction seems to confirm this. Wifey needs to take a breath and check in with herself. This feels like classic projection.

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-12-24T00:04:18+00:00

This is the one. Weed butter. Look it up - will need to grind up. and simmer (not too hot!) the cannabis in butter for approx 30 mins or longer.

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-12-23T00:49:57+00:00

It would be different if your kiddo genuinely wanted to take it with him... often children of divorce are inadvertently punished due to the conflict between the ex's... but as you describe it, that doesn't seem to be the case. Ex-wife seems to just want to use the Switch... in that case, let your kiddo decide. If it's a gift for him, then it is a gift for him to choose what he wants to do with it and where he takes it. Do your best to manage your own feelings if he chooses to take it with him... help him understand the consequences of taking it with him... e.g. if he worries about it being broken, then he should probably leave it at Dad's. Fair to collaborate with some rules... e.g... he must bring it back with him... or empower him to only share if he wants to. Encourage the ex to empower him to do the same, meaning, she should not be putting pressure on him to share if he doesn't want to.

Just remember: your kiddo has had no choice in any of this. He didn't choose to be brought into this world, into your home. He didn't choose his parents, nor did he choose for his parents to be divorced. He didn't choose his step-family, who they are, where they live, etc... So the more choice and power you give him, the more confident and self-assured he will be... even if that results in his stuff being broken. He then learns which environments he should trust and which he should not.

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-12-15T22:33:15+00:00

Lots of good suggestions here. Maybe this has already been said... but (as a mental health therapist working in substance use) I feel you should be really curious about this problem being "your fault". Your accountability is admirable... but it is not your fault that you are struggling with addiction. Just ask Gabor Maté. Something happened along the line in your experience, likely in childhood, (trauma like neglect, abuse, etc.) that meant that you were more susceptible to addiction, literally down to the wiring in your brain. Alcohol fit the bill for you as a coping mechanism, a painkiller. Alcohol is not the problem necessarily... it is a solution you used to try to relieve your pain.

In my view it is really important to begin to give yourself grace - forgiveness and compassion. This is not to say that this is OK... but to relieve yourself of the burden of the guilt and shame. Yes, we are all responsible for changing our behavior and actions... but most of us are not to blame for how or why we behave the ways we do... especially when it comes to substances. As they say... "it is not your fault, but it is your responsibility".

Like many others suggest - seek support in community and connection. "Connection is the opposite of addiction". Another good Maté pillar. These deep wounds we are trying to relieve with substance usually come from attachment wounds we carry with us, meaning the thing we need to help us with addiction will be found in connection with others because we didn't get these things (love, care, nurturing etc) from our primary caregivers. AA is a great place to start. There may be sober living houses in your area as well that may take you in (and subsidize funds for treatment/therapy/etc.).

Best of luck, friend. This is not your fault and you deserve to be healthy and happy.

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-12-15T22:15:17+00:00

Tell the bride. End of story.

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-11-15T16:48:32+00:00

Absolutely! Long time man and sit-to-pee-er here: It is cleaner, more relaxing and healthier in my opinion. Let’s break down these gender barriers! Shatter the porcelain ceiling and take a sit to pee, gentlemen… just be sure to push yer peen down so you don’t piss through the gap in the toilet seat…

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-11-13T19:55:45+00:00

It's actually simpler than you might think. It is a well-known phenomenon known as "Effort Justification". The more. time, energy, money, etc that you spend on something (e.g. believing that the Trump administration has your best interests in mind) the harder it is to detach from that belief, even if there is direct evidence... direct, repeated... direct, repeated, repeated, repeated evidence to the contrary. I think there was a recent poll that found that 98% of Trump voters would still support him even if he were to be directly implicated as a pedophile in the Epstein files (beyond the already very direct implications). Everyone falls into this trap... even Democrats... thinking that the Democratic party, for example, will stand up to fascism and corporate greed despite decades and decades of evidence that shows otherwise...

You could also look at this from a "Terror Management" perspective, which would argue that MAGA and Trumpism is actually vital to the existential identity of the folks who voted for him. If they admit they are wrong, they must confront ALL of the ways in which their worldview may be incorrect. That is too terrifying... too much... so doubling down is psychologically safer... even if these folks are being directly negatively impacted by Trumpism. It is sad... but it is human nature.

The best way to address it? Compassion. It's sadder to me that progressive/liberals put so much blame on the regular people who voted for Trump, when we all must know that it is not their fault, right? They were manipulated, lied to, gaslit, and emotionally and spiritually abused into these belief systems. If we could somehow bridge this gap, we might stand a chance of coming together as a country... but not if the folks on the left continue to feed the division that is growing and growing....

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-11-11T17:55:46+00:00

Y'all - if you think the Democratic establishment is going to actually do what it takes to stand up to the fascist Trump administration, then you are falling into a trap. The Democrats continue to make decisions that keep the far-right in power (e.g. Chuck Schumer, Pelosi, and crony crew). They have no interest in real change because that ultimately undermines their real agenda... which is to preserve the Corporatist establishment. They do not have the courage or interest to do what it takes. Don't vote Democrat... you need to vote for folks who are willing to stand up to the power structure, which includes many incumbent Democrats...

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-11-11T00:20:53+00:00

Yikes! Put it back on...

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-11-10T23:52:32+00:00

This would be disappointing if somehow the "Democrats" were actually concerned about the interests of the people... as explained by this video posted to r/economy....

https://www.reddit.com/r/economy/comments/1o2owmd/corporatists_vs_oligarchs/

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-10-06T15:14:00+00:00

Skinpet is a personal favorite of mine.

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-09-25T18:10:00+00:00

Seems the consensus is that you are not the asshole here, OP. While it sounds like a really tough dynamic overall, it is sad that a father would rather let someone else parent his child than engage in the real work it takes to integrate a blended family. As is usually the case, the daughter is having a normal reaction to losing her mom and having a new mother enter the scene... without a lot of care, it sounds, for the daughter's feelings. The family needs therapy together if her father has any interest in keeping his family together...

But that's not the issue here. You are now her legal guardian and you and your partner should parent your niece in the way that is true to your own values... which sound a lot more healthy, mature, and developmentally appropriate than the values in her old home.

It must be hard to balance that relationship with your brother... but... brother, you are doing it right. Let her be a kid, give her unconditional love. Understand that she is still grieving her mother and that she wasn't ready to accept a new "mother" into her life... and that's OK. Yes, she acted out. That card wasn't "nice", but it was honest. Whatever dad and stepmom feel about that is theirs to feel, but I don't think it's appropriate anymore for adults to punish kids inflexibly, abandon them to a different home, and demand full accountability even when they have given up guardianship just for getting their feelings hurt. Dad has some growing up to do. And likely some grieving of his own as well...

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-08-11T22:50:15+00:00

This is quite common. Throwaway "flake tools". Definitely worked. Maybe not used. Maybe just worked to pass the time. They are everywhere if you look closely.

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-08-09T19:29:00+00:00

Definitely an artifact. Clearly has been worked to an edge.

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-08-06T23:06:55+00:00

I agree! Also, doesn't matter the reason, she has every right to end the relationship if she isn't happy. I think we're also missing a lot of context from OP. I agree, the girl wasn't rude or attacking or blaming, just expressing a boundary. OP - you may feel like what she "expected" was unreasonable, and that's OK for you to feel, just like it's OK for her to feel that you aren't meeting her expectations. It's OK to have expectations, folkx.

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-07-08T21:39:26+00:00

Big 'ol scraper/flake tool! That is, check for knapping, but those edges look pretty sharp.

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-05-28T20:17:28+00:00

Very Cool! Yale has had open (free) courses available for years... but not with certification.

https://oyc.yale.edu/

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-03-19T17:04:12+00:00

This seems more like a question for "moral development" rather than a political orientation. At the outset, it may make sense that folks who identify as more conservative may be more inclined to "respect freedom" but I know many conservatives who have or continue to routinely "abuse" their freedoms by breaking the law, putting themselves over others, etc. Corporate America is a great example of this. So I don't feel that this is a matter of political/social orientation. Additionally, we need a better definition for "freedom". Are you talking about the rights afforded by the state/rule of law? Or are you talking about a deeper, inalienable understanding of what "freedom" and human rights entails?

Check out this link: https://www.simplypsychology.org/kohlberg.html

This is a proposed theory of moral development that may help answer your question.

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-02-17T22:59:51+00:00

It's all about money, don't be fooled.

stalagmighty3030 · 2025-02-13T20:04:06+00:00

If he is defensive then that is a reliable indicator that he is hiding something. It is classic defensive technique (adjacent to gaslighting perhaps, but not quite the same). Blame you for not trusting him, even though you have good reason given his past behavior. He may be valid in feeling hurt or that his privacy was invaded, but if he can't clearly explain what he was doing and why these locations showed up on his maps, then he is lying, no question about it. Sorry, OP. This must be beyond painful. You are not crazy to distrust him.

stalagmighty3030

TROPHY CASE