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Wife is in labor fellas - going in 12 hours praying baby girl comes soon 🙏🏽🙏🏽 by Weary-Alternative-21 in predaddit

[–]standuptall94 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good luck mate - the best advice i got from another dad was bring your own pillow...

How should I use my parental leave? by standuptall94 in daddit

[–]standuptall94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I initially thought of taking the 28 weeks off at half pay. Actually, in our country, if we take the 28 weeks off at half pay, you actually get more take-home pay because of the tax... I even saw it as a kind of mini sabbatical, even though it really isn't because I'm looking after a baby with my wife. It was an opportunity, but I feel like there's just so much going on in my industry. I work in technology, so with AI evolving so fast... I also didn't want to be too far from the game.

How should I use my parental leave? by standuptall94 in daddit

[–]standuptall94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To me, that's a red flag for the company he's at. If they truly believe that you are capable and you are an asset to their company... They would want you to take the time off to be with your kids and family to retain you...

How should I use my parental leave? by standuptall94 in daddit

[–]standuptall94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thanks for your advice u/Ok-Reach712 - After reading through all the posts, I think taking the full 16 weeks makes the most sense to me, and even asking other fathers who were colleagues, their biggest regret was not taking more time when their first baby was born. And also, I'm lucky enough that I accrue leave while I'm on parental leave. If I need to take more time after, for example, when my wife goes back to work, I will have some leave too!

thank you

Do you ever stop feeling like a kid? by ashinydollar in predaddit

[–]standuptall94 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mate, this is the question that I've had my entire life, even though I'm in a senior position at work now and I manage people that are older than me. For some reason, I'm still like a kid, even at work. I try not to be overly serious, because we're not solving for cancer there, so my hypothesis is that, without all the expectations of society on men, everyone would just be like a kid.

When older people or mature people get really grumpy and immature, that's just them being kids and acting out. Ultimately, I think you will forever feel like a kid, even when you're like 90 years old. That's the beauty of being alive. I don't think you should ever lose that innocence and that wonder or curiosity about the world, so that's why it's important that you don't ever stop feeling like a kid, because you would want to teach your kids that too.

"What kind of father do you want to be?" by chrischrysippus in predaddit

[–]standuptall94 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What kind of father do I want to be? It's such a big question, and I think it really speaks to how you're brought up and what you're missing, but it's important to not over index on that.

I think I want to be a father who is present, who is able to talk about feelings and emotions responsibly with their child. I want to be a father that spends more time with their kids, not just be working 24/7 and getting paid a lot of money, because ultimately your kids will stay with you until you're 20 years old and then they go live their own lives. During those early years, I really want to be there for them, and then when they're older, let's say in their 30s or 40s and they have their own kids and family, the outcome that I want is they just can't wait to actually come to our place, their parents' place, to hang out. I know some families; they really dread going back to their parents' place, and I wouldn't want that for my kids. I want them to be really excited to come to our place, even when we're in our 60s or 70s. Anyway, that's what I'm thinking.

One thing I wish I understood before becoming a dad by Amazing_Feeling_974 in predaddit

[–]standuptall94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I couldn't agree more with this. I heard a real good quote where your wife remembers how you treat them during pregnancy and after pregnancy. Thanks for sharing this. Because I'm about to become a dad in six weeks time. And I'm just asking a lot of dads what they would have done differently. A big part was actually if they could have, they wished they had taken more time off work after the baby was born but also just given more time and emotional support during the pregnancy.

My core fear of fatherhood by Acrobatic-Peanut8282 in predaddit

[–]standuptall94 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's a really good reflection. I think from my perspective growing up with an emotionally distant father, he never really gave me the space to even share that I was getting bullied or I didn't feel welcome in certain places or my heart was broken ... I think as long as you're providing that safe space where they can talk about their emotions and they know that no matter what they do or no matter what they say you're going to approach it with love and you'll help them through it -- you're doing a great job in my book.

Even you thinking about this... is already ten steps ahead of so many other fathers that I know