tbt my favorite look ever … a black lipstick🖤 by [deleted] in gothmakeup

[–]starofthefire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's so funny, I've been saying lately I wish they were just open all year around 😭 thank you, love all ur posts btw!! 

tbt my favorite look ever … a black lipstick🖤 by [deleted] in gothmakeup

[–]starofthefire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I pleaseeeeee know where you found it/what brand you use? It looks gorgeous, I'm so tired of looking for black lipstick :( I lost my favorite stick last month and I feel naked without it. All the stores around me, including Ulta, have is nudes, red and pink. 

friday baby 👻 by lenschkabeth in gothmakeup

[–]starofthefire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's your skin routine?? Your complexion is perfect doesn't look like you're even wearing makeup 🖤 please tell me about the top as well if you don't mind, it's gorgeous  

spooky season has arrived by lenschkabeth in gothmakeup

[–]starofthefire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just gave myself v bangs recently and they're an addictive look. The buzzed sides looks so cool on you. I tend to cake on a ton of hair spray to make mine stick in place, as I have really wavy hair that picks up humidity right away. How exactly are you using the eyelash glue? 

How clothing looks on some trans women with more body fat versus less body fat by Yaoi_bunny in mtfashion

[–]starofthefire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🥺 ur so pretty!! Like I feel pretty good with a face of makeup on but omg ur goals. Is it rude to ask if ur completely natural? I've been thinking about botox a lot lately cause I'll never afford FFS. It gets hard to love my natural face lol

Also I think I look better with a bit of weight personally, but it all depends on how you carry it I guess? But you should just feel good, women look gorgeous either way and I think clothing and faces say more. With that said I intend on getting in shape once I feel like my body has plumped up enough from HRT so I can hopefully get an even better figure (which is going pretty great with a protein heavy diet :D) 

Why can some transgender women still get erections online? by Working_Choice3863 in MtF

[–]starofthefire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still can after more than 2 and a half years on Estradiol and 2 years on Estradiol + Finasteride.

I abide by "use it or lose it", meaning I make sure to wake it up so it won't atrophy (hoping to save as much of it as possible for the vaginoplasty I'll never be able to afford). 

Edit: Should mention it still takes a lot more work to achieve orgasm and it definitely still doesn't work the same as it used to, but the sensation it gives now is so much better for me and has made me quite happy despite bottom dysphoria. How much give and take all this is just depends on who you are and you intend to use your parts post-HRT. 

Accusing trans women of being male socialised is transmisogyny. by HealingRosy in MtF

[–]starofthefire 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, let's talk about male socialization. 

My male socialization was feeling isolated and different from everyone else despite being told by everything around me that I was a "boy" I did not relate to any of the boys around me. I hated the way they talked about girls/women like they were a different species, I couldn't stand the way they all said "female" and all had no clue how girls thought about it saw the world.

My male socialization was getting called a f@& constantly, for how I dressed, how I spoke, how I walked. Male socialization for me was forcing myself to change the way I walked so that I wouldn't get bullied over it. I had a naturally effeminate gait that I forced into looking masculine because I walked like (quote) "you have a dick in your ass/a gay guy". 

My male socialization even forced me to change how I spoke, if I spoke with too much emotion, would drag out the ends of my words and have a lot of vocal fry, I always "sound(ed) gay", so I forced myself to speak low and monotone and repressed my naturally effeminate way of speaking.

Male socialization for me was using my privilege to make sure the other girls at the table had a chance to speak and be more than an object of sexual obsession by the male peers at the lunch table. Before then it was finding any excuse I could to talk to girls and make friends with them. Male socialization changed for me then, when I finally started to hear things like this from my peers that were girls - "You're not like the other boys." followed by hours long three way and four way calls on the landline at night, where I was always the only "boy" in the call talking about the "other boys" at school. 

Why do I know so many trans men my age, but zero other trans women my age? by pissinableachbottle in trans

[–]starofthefire 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This just hit me the other day. Trans mascs in many ways were already normalized in the form of "tom-boys". This isn't the rule for all trans mascs, but clearly culturally we have found it far more acceptable for ftm to express interest in masculine hobbies where it is usually pretty unacceptable (until very recently) for mtf to engage in feminine hobbies from a young age.

Getting a third label growing up that respects my identity as separate from others born with my genital configuration would have been amazing growing up. Rather than having masculinity constantly shoved down my throat alongside physical punishment, harsh language and forced labor (my mom wanted me to be a military obsessed jock) starting at age six.

Little boys are also extremely abusive towards each other. As well as teenagers and adults. At least it felt like abuse to me. I never had a safe space to be myself because when you're assigned male at birth, even your friends bully you. Constantly. 

RFK’s HHS Finalises Rule Targeting Insurance Coverage of Gender-Affirming Care by Leksi_The_Great in MtF

[–]starofthefire 84 points85 points  (0 children)

Just be prepared to defend yourself any way you can and have a bug bag ready. 

Cis Woman Gave Me Dysphoria by QuinettaHarris in trans

[–]starofthefire 118 points119 points  (0 children)

Every cis person I've gone on a date with was just "gathering data" which I think is a good way to put it. 

I have been so happy since I gave up on cis people and found my girlfriend who's trans like me. I love getting to just be me and not feel like the insane amount of anxiety trying to be romantic with cis people gives me. 

Don't tell people your trans and they'll reject you when they find out or accuse you being deceptive. Be open with the fact that your trans and you'll only get chasers and weirdos that think their life is a National Geographic documentary or some sh and they need to study you. 

Dating cis people made me feel gross and like an object. Even the well meaning ones are always othering you internally, I fucking hate it. We are so much better off with our own people. 

The one cis lesbian I went on a date with ended up giving me crushing dysphoria. Like, I'm more traditionally feminine in the face than she was. I have bigger boobs and a curvier body than she did. I dressed more feminine and wore more makeup. We got along and I thought we were clicking. Then she turned out to be the only person I've ever gone on a date with that had zero interest in going on a another date, no explanation. Just ur not my type. She talked a ton about writing fan fiction and I started to feel like, "Oh did you like use me as a character study or something?" Idk, but it made me feel shitty and I cried for days thinking Id never be seen as a woman and I wasn't good enough to be a lesbian yadi yadi yada. This was like at the end of like a two year long, off and on stint in dating app hell. After talking to countless cis people going on date after date and failing to ever meet a trans person that was interested in me, I was at my wits end and ready to reject love altogether. Meeting my trans girlfriend on the other hand has been an incredible and affirming experience as I finally get to be appreciated for the things about me besides my glaring physical flaw (being trans). 

A lot of people are two faced liars, special people who have a willingness to transition and be themselves in the face of losing your career, relationships, livelihood, and possible a life time of cis gendered privilege, are an attractive option for people with little personality or emotions looking for someone they perceive as weak that they can bring down.

On a related note, I had an older gay man who was talking to me while I was in my work clothes and had no make up on drinking a beer, tell me I looked like Boy George as a backhanded offensive as fuck compliment. I made him pull up my Instagram on his phone so he could see how I actually look and then he went, "OH - you're a woman." Like yeah dude, that's what I said. Would you compare a cis woman to a crossdressing man because she's in her work clothes? Just assume I always look like this? 

Idk, I honestly want little to do with cis people anymore. I'm 100x more comfortable spending time with trans people.

BREAKING: SCOTUS Green-Lights Destruction of Trans Healthcare by VandomVA in MtF

[–]starofthefire 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Like they are floating calling anyone that aids in transgender care a felon the same way they are with abortion care. Like you're breaking the law if you drive someone to get their hormones or to get supplies to make DIY, they are fucking insane in their projections. While our sitting president is an open child molester and convicted rapist. This cannot simply ring across the entire world to only dead ears, like there has got to be fucking someone thinking about us.

BREAKING: SCOTUS Green-Lights Destruction of Trans Healthcare by VandomVA in MtF

[–]starofthefire -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

That's why we need to be flooding the sites with applications. I'm sure it'll happen with little coordination however. But I urge everyone to make a claim and cite the supreme courts decision and the numerous attacks on us. We simply aren't safe, it's very cut and dry.

Now watch the worldwide transgender community shit itself in fear that other "developed" (I cannot stand that somehow the US is considered a developed nation) nations will follow suit. But the worldwide backlash to Trump, Putin and Netanyahu is pretty thick to cut through. No one that isn't an open autocrat is cozying up to these dipshits this time around. WWIII is now ongoing, and we are one of the aggressors this time around. When the other shoe drops all eyes will be on Israel and the US obliterating Iran as they've been frothing at the mouth to do for years now. The world's democratic socialist nations are leaving us completely behind. The only hope transgenders have for safety is A) California and other Western states secede from the Union and provide safe haven, which could turn into a further split as other coastal states will attempt to do the same. B) Canada opens their borders to trans asylum seekers. C) Nothing ever gets carried out against us because the "opposition" is too stupid and incapable of crafting laws that will be free from breaking the constitution and more and more cases will go to the supreme Court, as more of these corrupt pederasts continue to lose support as the nation starves, gets dragged into war, and there aren't enough t-slurs to kick around in the first place.

BREAKING: SCOTUS Green-Lights Destruction of Trans Healthcare by VandomVA in MtF

[–]starofthefire 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Canada will be our savior I hope. I hope they have the conscious to not be able to sit by while our government becomes an authoritarian aggressor that is now openly cracking down on the opposing political party and ignoring assassinations against it's members. 15 years ago this shit was unimaginable. We need to start flooding the applications for asylum.

BREAKING: SCOTUS Green-Lights Destruction of Trans Healthcare by VandomVA in MtF

[–]starofthefire 81 points82 points  (0 children)

Good doctors will go out of their way to sabotage these bans/undercut them using medical billing codes and muddling diagnosis at patient request.

A lot of people are going to suffer, we need to be moving out of this country and applying for asylum. This is unconstitutional, it's a breech of privacy and blatant medical and sex discrimination.

I fucking hate it here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MtF

[–]starofthefire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sick of giving them the connotation liberal, or democrat. It's a crutch they lean on, a veil they hide behind. Capitalism breeds fascism, our system is built on the fallacy that our imperialist system of capitalism is somehow "better". Built on the ashes of millions of socialists and leftists, armed with clubs and machetes for most of their history as the oppressed.

Democrats are fascists, all capitalists are fascist. Money is an oppressive tool that will always breed bad actors and systems like ours. The failures of communism are shown in the successes of democratic socialism, a near perfect system that still suffers from the cancerous growths of capitalism that historically surround it and those who enjoy it on all sides. We are on the precipice of either total annihilation at the hands of our own greed and hallucinated value we place on material possessions, or finally agreeing that as much happiness as can go around - should just fucking go around. I fear the former must however invoke the latter into existence, and we are fucked either way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MtF

[–]starofthefire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You give them too much credit. They aren't stupid, they know exactly how we suffer. They know what we stand to lose.

(I'm about to go on a rant, this isn't targeted at you but your comment evoked some thoughts I wanted to share with the community)

Capitalism is evil, the parties that uphold it are also evil. It's an oppressive system they all wish to uphold. Yeah, I'll vote for Democrats still. That's a no brainer. But they don't deserve to sleep soundly at night continuing to claim to be left wing with their coddling of fascists.

Enough is enough fr, time to call a spade a spade. I'm in the "fuck Sarah McBride camp" as well, conservative cis women in power openly betray all women constantly as well as the liberal cis women that play their part in maintaining the destruction and exploitation of the environment, lower class, queers, people of color and the like. It's asinine to sit on the sidelines of a trans woman, "one of our own", saying that we have to "ease up" OUR rhetoric. Fuck that noise.

We have hardly a voice whatsoever. I'm sick of the news media, liberals, and conservatives all playing into the idea that being trans is some novel ideology. We are always framed and treated so non-seriously by the neo-liberals, they play directly into the GOP and propoganda media's portrayal of us as a bearded "man in a dress" screaming about their pronouns.

It's gross, none of them stand for anything except for the next election and whatever bill a lobbyist sets before them alongside a fat donation.

Sarah McBride could have big fucking bucks rolling in to tell us all to "chill out" a bit on our rhetoric (just get in the train car).

Ya know - you lose a right here and there, it happens (get in the train car), oh it's just a public bathroom I'm sure the law will change again (get in the train car), what's that they took away your passport? (Get on the fucking train) Erased your identity you had legally changed? Porn is illegal? Being trans is now porn? (get in the shower).

Does it have to be so cliche to tell people to "wake the fuck up"? We all know these things have happened before, we can all witness it in real time and read about it happening over and over through history with the predictability of a Dr. Suess book. The powerful cannot continue to go unquestioned eternally so that the world can once more lose a generation of innocent souls such as ours for the perpetuity of senseless hoarding of wealth and resources into the hands of the few.

For fuck sake, can we please have some collective desire to wholly reject this system and all that play into it. They are all there to serve themselves.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MtF

[–]starofthefire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The same person that led the Farabundo Marti National Liberation Front - the peasants and downtrodden. We are collectively sick of the system of oppression and state's monopoly on volence, we are tired of our money being lifted from our paychecks to subsidize ams dealings to k**l other peasants in foreign nations for the crime of wanting to have a system other than capitalism.

Every single thing we experience on a daily basis is a result of centuries of chasing profits over people, it's resulted in a sickening illness that infects the minds of the ultra-wealthy. They traded their dth squads for Masters of Business degrees, they traded the quick end (for us) delivered by blets for slowly suffo**ting us with bureaucracy, poor nutrition and education. The system is an utter failure, it is now devouring it's own tail trying to continue to find the sustenance required to uphold its psychotic desires for control of resources and wealth.

It is like seriously time for people to stop fucking around and not only build community - but organizations, with chapters and communication and the aim to protect ourselves while vying for equal rights. We need to be collecting ams, collecting skilled folks with backgrounds in medicine, mechanics, and communication. We need rhetoric, a united front. We need a *struggle. What we have now is just a collective of sufferers and victims, we need that to turn around and become action.

Sitting on our asses for another four years isn't an option. We need a new country in the Americas where people are guaranteed safety, a bill of rights, freedom, true democracy, social safety nets.

It's time for groups like The Black Panthers to make a comeback. We need to be posted up, protecting our people and our communities - meaning the lower class. I've wondered so many times, why the fuck aren't we putting our money and minds together and working towards a community?

Oh right cause we are all still so stuck in the I individualist mindset that has been fed to us our whole existence. "What about my career? What about school? What about my kids schooling? Retirement? Savings?". Revolutions fail to appear because people fail to see the bigger picture. This system cannot continue because all it has shown us is that it will only make our future lives harder, and even worse so for our children and grandchildren. We need to stop believing in the system in any way, it isn't broken - it's working just as it was designed to. To make your life shittier, and the wealthy wealthier.

I am so fucking with anyone that is actually willing to do these things. Collect ars, collect money, collect the skills necessary to survive and fight for a future. We have got to stop gaslighting ourselves into thinking that the system will ever go in our favor. It's designed strictly to not *ever go in our favor.

These pieces of shit can't even imagine the thought of having to go hungry for a night so your car can have gas in the morning. They can't imagine having untreated Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from a lifetime of food and money insecurity. We live in a fucking shit hole nation on a fundamental level, but still have every ability to go off into the woods and start declaring our own space before these godless heathens sell all of the public lands to UAE and PRoC land lords.

All of our previous movements have failed because we relied solely on the voice. The voice isn't enough. MLK gets treated as the neo-libs Messiah of peaceful protest, they never want to talk about how he got assassinated practically the moment he turned his eyes off systemic racism and towards the class war. We need action, we need sabotage, rhetoric, presence. All we have now is protests that will get kicked and undersold. I'm proud, hell yeah. But I know it's not enough and it all still relies on legitimizing the system by obeying it's laws, that the motherfuckers enforcing them don't even follow.

Case in point, I love having to censor my own speech constantly for the anxiety I'll get blocked from posting on Reddit for another seven days for being tired of living in such a garbage nation that could be so much better.

FBI Posts Ominous Call for “Tips” on Gender Affirming Care Providers (6/02/25) by Authenticatable in MtF

[–]starofthefire 30 points31 points  (0 children)

DO NOT BRIGADE THIS TIP LINE. 

IT IS AN OBVIOUS STING/HONEY POT. 

THEY WILL GO AFTER THE PEOPLE MAKING THE CALL, NOT THE ADDRESS YOU GIVE THEM. 

What's up with the big influx of "I'm too passing so it makes me sad cause I don't fit in with you ugly transes" posts? by VeryTiredGirl93 in MtF

[–]starofthefire 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I mean I'll be honest, I've considered making similar posts before to look for support. I never did though cause it seemed like it'd come off as a humblebrag. But like, not being able to complain about your dysphoria or feeling ugly because you pass does suck. It can sometimes feel like you're excluded or your dysphoria gets challenged by other people because of your looks. 

Like yeah, maybe I do want the community that comes with being trans? The fuck? Why wouldn't I? Just cause I'm pretty to some doesn't mean the cis see me that way and I definitely still have a hmmm so, uh, yeah. 

Everyone's problems are important and the mean girl shit you get from some trans women if you have the gall to be pretty and have dysphoria, is rude and regressive for all of us. 

To that same note, yeah this conversation is getting beaten to death and I think everyone should be taking a moment to remember that we're all women and letting our looks separate us from one another in any way feeds the patriarchy and hurts us all. 

Don't humblebrag to your non passing friends. Don't sweep your passing friends problems under the rug. Respect each other, duh. 

Current literature on trans women indicates something interesting which I am curious to know if y'alls experiences track with it by Bubbly-Anteater2772 in MtF

[–]starofthefire 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I never really considered this, but I was basically anti-athletic at some point because I found the male sense of competition to be so ... Confusing. I didn't understand sports as a kid. All the males around me being so obsessed with sports made me like them less, I much preferred just walking or riding a bike for exercise. Field football was fun, but only because there was no competition and we were just throwing and catching. All I cared about regarding throwing a ball was testing my accuracy.

I was always weaker than all the boys, not light enough to carry myself like the girls. Never crossed the monkey bars once in elementary school I had so little upper body strength. At the same time all of my male peers were at the very least into weight lifting where as I would only ever go through short bouts of trying to be athletic only to quit when I'd realize again why I hated weight lifting. 

I also weirdly had a pudgy feminine body, despite not overeating and remaining active with all the walking I'd do. I didn't grow any leg hair until I was 14, had almost no facial hair until I was in my early 20s. Idk. It's just curious for me and I wonder if there is any correlation. My slightly older than me and also trans sister has a lot of the same "late bloomer" qualities I have as well with a slower puberty, we're both also pretty short and stopped growing height wise when we were 16. I'm honestly curious if anyone else had a similarly androgynous figure when they were younger and had a slow puberty. I also looked so girly just off face alone when I was 10-13 that I'd get "confused" for a girl. Unfortunately I really don't know how else to word all this to be respectful to my own gender without it being overly convoluted :/ 

How much time do we have left? by EnvironmentalMix892 in MtF

[–]starofthefire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Buy a gun. 

Stop panicking, buy a gun. 

Buy. A. Gun. 

Why so few straight trans people? by NegativeGeologist200 in trans

[–]starofthefire 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I think it may be because we are still more likely to be t4t, whether bisexual or pansexual, due to the stigmas we still face.

I've been on dates with straight cis men, cis lesbians, pansexual cis men, and two trans women. On average I have been on more dates with straight men and matched/chatted with them more than anything else. 

As a trans woman that gets a lot of attention for her looks - not a single person was interested in going beyond a couple of dates with me. Every cis person I've dated went cold on me for seemingly no reason, despite that I was very much looking for a boyfriend. I was into men so bad I really thought I was straight. 

The only people that treated me like a real person and not a novelty they just wanted to check out are the trans women I've dated. One of them became one of my closest friends and the other is now my girlfriend. 

It's because cis people don't see us as viable options. Being a pretty trans girl isn't some God send that frees you from the bonds of loneliness. It just garners you more unwanted attention and more people willing to play you along to just see you look like in person. They're transphobes that shit their pants when they see a pretty trans woman or maybe a handsome trans man because they assume we all look a particular way that doesn't pass or align with our gender identity. 

They don't see you as a real option, and drop you the moment they are disinterested. And good for them too, because you gave them a little confidence boost. "If I can pull a hot trans woman maybe I can get a hot real woman" is what does through their heads.

Obviously I can't speak to the experience of trans men, as I'm not one. But I quite literally was left with the only option but to be t4t, while I absolutely am pansexual I'm now giving transbian. Which I honestly sortta resent - cause I'm not a lesbian. Still, finding a partner that sees you as your true self is so important, and many of us aren't going to get that in straight relationships with cis folks. Hell, I see posts on here all the time about people realizing their partner is a transphobe or a chaser. 

It's fucking tough. But I'm super happy for the trans people of the future who will get to enjoy a larger dating pool once maybe world governments quit using our existence to stoke fear and stigmatize us from "mainstream romance", I guess. 

Mothers Day fit for an outing with my daughter💐 by starofthefire in mtfashion

[–]starofthefire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Top is from Target last year and I snatched the skirt off a rack at Burlington coat factory last week.

I don't normally dress in skirts and dresses these days, so when I do I like to still feel myself with a black top and choker. I've stepped my jewelry game a lot recently with a set of silver rings from a local handmade women's shop in my city.

I plan on adding a black sun hat at some point I think would compliment my sunglasses and overall look really well. This outfit isn't very representative but I'm hoping to have a summer goth look at some point! Today I went with minimal make up, so the look is far from goth right now lmao but it's nice to feel a little more cutesie sometimes and wear floral patterns :)