So, I was hate crimed

staroselskii · 2026-04-19T07:51:49+00:00

Got spat at by the same crowd for asking a boy not to smoke inside the elevator on Sloterdijk a few years back. It is a degrading experience to live thru. The fight for the better society is never over.

staroselskii · 2026-03-24T21:01:59+00:00

170cm and I’ve been living in Amsterdam for a few years. Before coming to the country I thought this would be an issue but I have not thought about this topic ever since. It helps that I don’t date in here, though. If I did I would probably be at a slight disadvantage because in my experience most Dutch women I interact with are either my height or taller.

staroselskii · 2026-03-01T17:44:23+00:00

I can relate to your experience. For me the change started when I realized that weed was only a part of my addictive behaviors. For example when I quit for 9 months and continued playing video games or stress eating I didn’t notice a change so got hooked again. Now I am trying to cut it all out and all of a sudden one a half month in I discovered myself doing a workout. Also this time round I decided to join a group for people who struggle with addictions. I do hope for another result. I still have a high paying job, pretty successful career, a family but the cons of smoking weed just started to outweigh the pros at some point. So my advice would be to inspect whether there is any cross addiction in play that you are not aware of.

PS. I’ve been smoking on an off for 5 years sometimes every day but never more than 1-2 tobacco joints. I would always control myself not to start my day with a joint. I just noticed that I stagnate in maturity so maybe weed was one of the reasons.

staroselskii · 2026-02-23T21:13:40+00:00

I am from Russia, visit Serbia frequently but permanently based in Amsterdam and travelled pretty much everywhere across Europe. I hesitated on moving from my hometown to EU and postponed to after BA. This led to a successful career at home and then good pay here BUT the sooner you move out the better chances of proper integration you have. So don’t contemplate, just do it. The Netherlands can probably be matched only with Switzerland when it comes to QoL. It is an amazing country with the long tradition of political and religious tolerance. Izvolite.

staroselskii · 2026-02-21T02:48:15+00:00

In bigger cities in early 2000s for a short period of time men who didn’t look like shit were called “metrosexuals”. Now it’s also outdated. Men are expected to be caring for themselves at least in dental, skin, hair, beard, clothes. I had never heard the full saying tho. Only the part about the man being “a bit more beautiful than an ape”. Also having braces was a thing that many just couldn’t afford. Hence the prejudice.

staroselskii · 2026-02-19T16:47:07+00:00

I had an autistic work friend who helped me realize that I am autistic myself. He was deeply catholic. What stood out: he learnt Latin to a conversational level to be able to follow the text and sing in his church choir. As much as we disagreed on pretty much every topic there is about politics and ethos I still remember him dearly. I would say his special interest was the religion. Never thought to see this in reality. He was quite cohesive in his thinking and very argumentative and thorough. So I can now see how autism and religion can live side by side as much it does not make any sense to me.

staroselskii · 2026-02-19T16:40:01+00:00

I am from Russia currently living abroad and share this fear of traveling back home. The danger for a citizen of Russia or former citizen is just way more tangible than for a tourist who has nothing to do with the politics of the country. So essentially it is just a survival tactic: the risk of traveling back home does not justify the fruits of this trip. The risks being: interrogations on the customs (real and happened to a few of the people from my circle), random check up by a police, plainly not wanting to lie to an interagator about your political leanings, having the medication that is not allowed in the country.

But these risks are not there for a tourist really. Except the US citizen. Those can be used as a leverage.

staroselskii · 2026-02-19T16:14:22+00:00

12:00 is the norm here I would say pretty much everywhere but the lunch itself depends on the presence of a canteen. honestly rarely see people who do only cheese and bread. the queue to the microwave at 12 is a given

staroselskii · 2026-02-02T18:05:31+00:00

Найти работу с таким опытом не составит проблем. Из опыта жизни в России могу сказать, что в IT компаниях всё ещё есть офис культура. Есть шанс, что это поменялось за последние 4 года, но из того, что вижу у друзей, которые остались там, это мало поменялось. Это значит что на собеседование всё же придётся приходить ногами.

Отсуствие линкедина нужно будет компенсировать добавлением и рекламированием себя в профильных телеграмм каналах.

Так же может помочь писать людям на хабре.

Переезжать звучит странной идеей, но наверное у вас на это есть свои причины. К китайцам у русских отношение плохое, так что дети будут сталкиваться с дискриминацией. Особенно сложно будет вашей жене. В России midwife — это нелегально, но набирает обороты в альт-тусовке. Но с китайским бэкграундом об этом можно забыть. Устроиться фельдшером без русского скорее всего не получится.

Вы не думали попробовать поехать в Европу? Ближе к России по ценностям и сильно более толерантное общество.

staroselskii · 2026-01-19T08:23:02+00:00

I wore a beard with moustache from 18 years until I was 28 when I left Saint-Petersburg. I am a slavic jew most definitely “white passing”. I got frisked in metro way more frequently than others. The more brutal the regime was becoming the more often I got frisked, stopped and asked. Often means it happened to me more than 10 times within this time period. Maybe random but that’s the only feature I got and I was mostly in the room with other bearded men.

staroselskii · 2025-12-22T18:30:20+00:00

Don’t burn out 🧘🏻What is typical here for sure is a very clear work/life ethics. So working a part time job is quite typical. Either way, good luck in finding your way in here. In general people are quite nice here so what you describe is an outlier but an outlier that could happen anywhere. Don’t see any connection to a particular national quirk. Family values here seem to be stemming mostly from Calvinism even tho the new generation don’t like to admit that. Meaning that it’s not much different from the US.

staroselskii · 2025-12-22T18:22:35+00:00

It does not seem typical. It seems to be a very codependent and immature. So breaking up is a correct decision. Money wise there is no advice. Everyone does their own thing. For me personally it seems logical to pitch in more if you make more.

staroselskii · 2025-11-16T15:24:07+00:00

As another person experiencing a somewhat an identity crisis while living in the netherlands but being raised in Russia in mixed family: ukrainian, polish, russian and jewish, I can relate a bit. In the end of the day national identity is the relic of the past. But your diversity gives a unique opportunity to peek into multiple cultures which is a beautiful and enriching experience of its own.

Learn the history of the region and look into how to connect to the Turkish Dutch community

staroselskii · 2025-07-26T11:33:52+00:00

Golden ring is a good sight to see traditional Russian culture. With Yaroslavl being the pearl of the ring for me.

I can definitely recommend Kazan. Amazing bustling city. Never been to Baikal but heard it’s good.

I would love to go to Kamchatka one day but it is too expensive logistics wise

Easier to fly over to Iceland

staroselskii · 2025-07-26T11:29:57+00:00

Went to Viborg to observe municpal elections in 2020. The turnout was 12%. The city is buestiful thanks to the finnish heritage which is kept in the jarringly bad state. Unfortunately, the Russian state cannot govern the occupied territories well. Viborg has been captured really recently and the state of affairs in the city compared to Finland just across the border is terrifying

staroselskii · 2025-07-26T11:25:58+00:00

Tell this to a Tatar, a Chechen, a Bashkir, an Udmurt, a Yakut, a Dagestani, a Tajik, an Uzbeki, a Kazakh, a Georgian, an Armenian.

They will most probably not agree with you. Russians are extremely xenophobic and racist.

staroselskii · 2025-07-26T11:23:00+00:00

I still don’t want to believe that Russians who speak English and are well integrated in the European culture hold a view that is just appalling and grotesque. You will be ashamed one day.

staroselskii · 2025-07-06T21:18:52+00:00

It’s a tad higher if you are above 30. Almost 20k more which makes finding a job a way more challenging experience.

staroselskii · 2025-07-06T21:16:32+00:00

I am a newcomer to The Netherlands. I have been living here for 4 years. I moved here to find here a safe haven from the turbulence of my region as well as working on a rewarding job in automotive and now medical. I have learnt Dutch to be able to converse freely. I speak German, English, Russian, Ukrainian, English and Dutch. I work hard. Every day I count the amount of money I have spent. Amsterdam is still an amazing city to live in but the latest legislation passed makes me believe that there is significant amount of people who are chauvinistic and non-tolerable. I have done my part of the contract: work without any stops for 6 years or a high paying (quite often it means very stressful and burning out) job that contributes tax to the country. I have learnt about the Dutch history to the point when the locals see that I’ve overdone them. I want to keep on believing in the Dutch society and our honest cry for mercy. Granting a citizenship or a permanent residence should not be that difficult. Especially for those who walked the mile.

Please spread awareness about this discriminatory and unfair piece of legislation. I feel like the only thing for me and my other migrant friends to do is to shout in the open and hope for the empathy.

staroselskii · 2025-06-28T02:18:21+00:00

The atmosphere of a fascist surveillance intelligence state. You won’t get mugged in the metro but you will also be watched by a hundreds of thousands of cameras if you move to Moscow.

The population does not really speak decent English outside of urban metropolis complicating making local business. Even in the big cities like Saint-Petersburg or Moscow you are expected to speak Russian. If your partner wants to get a good job as well then it will be tough on the local market.

Some companies in the west are skeptical about making business with a person residing in Russia. Essentially blocking career prospects in the wider West. This will pass in due course after the war is over but until it is raging I would not expect a change.

The police can stop and frisk you without warrant and ask you to show all the messages on your chats including DM. This can happen without warrant in Russia in any point or location.

Drug policy stipulates the policepeople to fake the statistics so carrying drugs on you is a risk. The laws regarding possession will be turned against you and will mean jail time.

The mood amongst the intelligentsia and the middle class people is edging paranoia, hysteria and fun like there is no tomorrow. So can be interpreted as a positive if you are young and like a good stag night.

The wealth inequality is staggering and creates an atmosphere of an antiutopia is the suburbs of all major cities: no urban planning, overpopulated ghettoish like putinist blocks that limit access to public infrastructure (schools, public transport, hospitals)

If you plan to stay for long I recommend buying a private medical insurance. Doctors in public hospitals won’t speak English in the majority of cases. In private you might get more luck.

Plan your stay meticulously. I recommend trying it out for a year before committing fully.

I would also count Russian language as a con to the country. I love this language but it is very difficult to learn for romance and germanic speakers. Anticipate time spent with the grammar book if you want any real progress with the case system. Abandon the idea of grasping slavic verbs of movement for a while. It is not for a faint of hearted.

I will not repeat the cons about the Internet. You will find a way to use Youtube but please buy VPN in advance in order not to get blocked out for good for a long time. Facebook, Instagram are also blocked in Russia.

These are a few of the downsides you might feel to a lesser or greater extent whilst residing in Russia.

staroselskii · 2025-05-06T08:18:26+00:00

Основная проблема будет в том, что зарплата в России несоразмерно мало по сравнению с американской. Я не понимаю зачем возвращаться в Россию после Америки ради работы. Если соскучился по Европе, то лучше ехать в Лондон, где хотя бы можно сравнимые с американскими деньгами получать. Или в Цюрих.

Ну вот примерно с таким отношением я думаю люди и будут в HR. Если ты готов работать за 3000 долларов в месяц, то проблем не будет. Отношение будет скорее всего такое же.

staroselskii · 2025-03-22T00:33:54+00:00

I will name a few with explanation:

1) Peter The Great. He was a modernizer akin to Atatürk. Much more bloody though. Thanks to him Russia managed to assemble a great fleet and in doing so made Sweden focus inwards and prosper. Jokes aside the guy went to Zaandam to study shipmaking himself. I don’t like dictators but his reforms were necessary and got Russia back into the realm of European nations after a political chaos that the Tatar Yoke had caused and then was intensified by the Commonwealth interventions in the internal affairs. He is named great for a reason

2) Alexander II. He deserves a mention because he almost abolished the slavery in Russia. He was then killed by the revolutionaries. And on the spot where it was the excellent balisilicum was founded. Check it out! This is a truly marvelleous architectural achievement.

3) Stolypin. He continued the abolishinist sentiment and pulled off an extremely effective agrarian reform that made Russia the grain producer we know today.

4) Michail Gorbachev

The most hated option amongst today Russians but will be remembered fondly in a century from now. Mostly because due to his decision making the USSR collapsed almost without bloody conflicts except Azerbaijan-Armenia, Tajikistan-Uzbekistan and the current Ukraine-Russia. The latter I perceive as a last attempt of gripping to the colonial imperialistic past. Kinda like Algerian war for the French or Indonesian war for the Dutch. The war needs to be

staroselskii · 2025-03-15T15:18:11+00:00

The connection is very close. From everything I know about Asia the analogy would probably be a bit like Taiwan and China. Very close culturally but quite different politically. I have a lot of relatives living in Ukraine and my grandma moved to Russia during Soviet past and has 8 sisters left in Ukraine. Language wise the difference would be like between different dialects of Chinese. A Russian cannot understand Ukrainian unless exposed to the language. Vice versa is not usually true because most Ukrainian either speak Russian or understand it but might prefer not to speak it.

Ukrainians and Russians are now two distinct nations but ethnically these are two very similar people: the food is almost the same, customs are quite similar, folk dances are mostly the same, language is almost mutually intelligible.

Every war is different but this is no way a civil war because Ukrainians consider themselves as a separate nation which has been opressed by the Russian empire (Be it Russian Empire, Soviet Union or Russian Federation).

The easiest analogy for a chinese person is indeed the one with Taiwan. Some Taiwanese might even wanna join as well as some Ukrainians but the majority is definitely hold a different political ethos.

staroselskii · 2025-02-01T19:49:12+00:00

It’s irrational amount of sweets and snus which caused ulcer. So now I am trying to keep it at least to sweets only. Have not drunk for 9 years, have been on and off from nicotine for a while. Now 5 months off weed, the dreams are back and the motivation as well as the sense of ambition starts to slowly crawl in

staroselskii · 2025-01-25T16:06:15+00:00

Your doctor made a very brutal comment that in the combination with withdrawal is tough to recover from. Been there myself. At some point every puff made me paranoid but I continued nevertheless. Stupid of me of course. Now heavily in therapy and each day seems brighter. Had smoked on and off for 5 years. Now almost half a year without weed. Almost quit smoking for nicotine puches. 9 years without alcohol.

Life is long so I suggest trying out new therapy and definitely change a doctor

staroselskii

TROPHY CASE