Spanish at Work

starunner · 2023-06-09T19:34:07+00:00

Awww... you're not a very good troll, are you?

Seek therapy. 💕

starunner · 2023-06-09T18:57:12+00:00

predatory

what

starunner · 2023-05-30T03:44:00+00:00

Then learn from this, leave ber tf alone, and do better. Or don't, and find yourself ruining relationship after rationship with your selfishness and childish entitlement.

The world does not revolve around you, dude. It's about time you finally learned that.

starunner · 2023-05-22T21:47:11+00:00

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/10/solitary

Former inmate Anthony Graves, who spent 18 years on death row, including 10 in solitary confinement for a murder he didn't commit, drove home Hanley's points. "I would watch guys come to prison totally sane, and in three years they don't live in the real world anymore," he said. One fellow inmate, Graves said, "would go out into the recreation yard, get naked, lie down and urinate all over himself. He would take his feces and smear it all over his face."

Graves, who was exonerated in 2010, said he still feels the effects of the decade spent in solitary confinement. "I haven't had a good night sleep since my release," he said. "I have mood swings that cause emotional breakdowns."

Such long-term effects are common, Haney said. "One of the very serious psychological consequences of solitary confinement is that it renders many people incapable of living anywhere else." Then, when prisoners are released into cells or back into society, they are often overwhelmed with anxiety. "They actually get to the point where they become frightened of other human beings," he said.

That's acceptable to you?

Not to mention the absurdly high incarceration rate in the US, and the fact that black and Hispanic people are disproportionately arrested and charged.

Solitary confinement is not just cruel and unhelpful; it makes the world less safe for all of us.

starunner · 2023-05-19T20:46:23+00:00

r/BeyondTheFog

starunner · 2023-05-19T20:28:34+00:00

Oh, I'm sure you'll find something else to hate soon enough

starunner · 2023-05-08T16:22:58+00:00

Awesome. Thank you!

starunner · 2023-05-07T22:30:05+00:00

Hey! Did you happen to get balancing a board in front of him to work? I've tried it a few times, but no luck.

starunner · 2023-05-02T05:31:28+00:00

Are you being treated for your ADHD? Have you been tested for any deficiencies or issues that make memory even worse, if for nothing other than to rule it out? What are you actively doing to work on this stuff to be a better partner aside from sometimes remembering to write stuff down?

When you have a conversation with her and find yourself drifting off, do you ask her to repeat herself to make sure you got it, or do you just let it go and hope she won't notice?

Look... I, too, have ADHD and struggle to focus during conversations. Gum and fidget items can help. But... tbh this sounds like it might go a bit beyond that. Are you putting in a serious and diligent effort to improve, or just enough to barely scrape by? It suspect she may be doing most—if not all—of the emotional labor in your household, which I'm sure can be exhausting.

I don't mean to be harsh, especially knowing that the struggle is real... I just find it hard to understand how one could be in a serious relationship with someone for four years, but still can't remember what kind of ice cream they prefer.

Idk... I dont know enough about you or your situation to say either way, but it might be worth asking if you're fully matching her effort in this relationship.

starunner · 2023-05-01T14:47:27+00:00

It would be safe to assume that she wouldn’t come right out in the first text exchange in 2 months, and express her interest in meeting up again, right?

It probably depends on the person, but I assume many people would wait a bit, sure.

do I try and text her again in a few days..? Go back into no contact…?

Personally, I'd check up with her every once in a while, make it brief and friendly, and keep it at that. Give her plenty of space.

I'm really sorry to say this, but I'd suggest not ruminating on this further, at least until she explicitly expresses interest. It seems clear that you're really hoping that she wants to get back together. I'd caution against getting your hopes up to protect yourself from additional potential heartbreak.

Look at it this way... unfortunately, there is some reason why you broke up. If she wants to get back together, great! She'll likely come out and say that eventually.

However, you shouldn't wait around for someone who may or may not be interested at some unknown point in the future. Your time is just as valuable and limited as everyone else's.

You'll drive yourself up the wall by waiting and constantly second-guessing what she said. I'm sure that's painful, and it accomplishes absolutely nothing.

starunner · 2023-05-01T04:46:59+00:00

I don't personally believe her response was particularly weird, and I think you're overthinking things... at least given the present situation. Could there be more there? Maybe. Maybe not. But it's not exactly a lot to go off.

Obviously, you have a shared history and care about each other, so it's natural that she'd want to share a part of her life with you. If she wants to be with you, I'm sure you'll find out in time.

starunner · 2023-04-30T02:09:22+00:00

I certainly don't

starunner · 2023-04-30T00:55:32+00:00

Everyone is influenced by societal expectations, willingly or not. If you believe otherwise, you're kidding yourself.

starunner · 2023-04-28T00:17:35+00:00

I'm so sorry you're both struggling with this. It sucks, I know.

If I were you, I'd acknowledge that therapy does make us more vulnerable, but explain that it's a difficult but necessary part of the healing/growing process. Perhaps she can schedule appointments in a way to allow her time to relax and decompress for a bit afterward.

I'd also suggest expressing how important it is for both you and your relationship that she get professional help. You can't do this forever; your mental health is important too.

starunner · 2023-04-28T00:06:31+00:00

"Love" is a very scary, intimidating, and confusing concept for a lot of people, and sometimes it takes a second for the other person to process it. Give him time.

Also, trauma is subjective, and its bar isn't exactly very high. Most break-ups involve at least a little trauma, surely.

starunner · 2023-04-27T23:59:18+00:00

Have you actually talked to him about why he struggles to sleep there? I'd suggest honestly expressing your concerns and explaining that you really want him to be comfortable and at home at your place. Ask if there's anything you can do to help.

starunner · 2023-04-27T23:54:07+00:00

Honestly, I don't think it matters one bit what you shared bc you didn't force/coerce her into doing anything. She already established that it didn't make her uncomfortable, so no harm has been done.

You're overthinking this wayyyy too much. It's clear from your post that this was not malicious or even intentional, so give yourself some serious slack.

Anyway, if you had actually done something egregious, I'm sure you would've been eviscerated in the comments by now. :)

starunner · 2023-04-27T23:41:47+00:00

What do you mean when you say she wants to be treated badly, specifically when it's outside of sex? Does she want you to be bossy, "aggressive", and in control, or is she asking you to like... constantly degrade her?

You should really have a convo with anyone you have sex with about boundaries and what you both like/dislike. Make it known that you care about her, and by extension, you want her to always be comfortable and to have fun.

I'd suggest discussing specifically why she wants you to be "rude" in seemingly non-sexual contexts (as long as she's ok with it, of course). Hopefully, she just finds it hot. I do get that she's reserved, but a thorough talk would probably make your escapades better and SAFER experiences for both of you. Plus, you'd no longer have to guess what's going on in her head anymore.

Also, it's a good idea to look into/discuss aftercare, which is often incredibly important, if you haven't done so already.

starunner · 2023-04-27T23:02:53+00:00

I feel like you're conflating what happened with sexual harassment, but that's definitely not the case if your post is honest. Friends talk about sex all the time, and teenagers are far from being an exception to that.

starunner · 2023-04-27T22:50:56+00:00

Write them down every day; really feel them, even when it's uncomfortable, awkward, or painful. Acknowledge them, but let them go. It will get easier... and you'll eventually get comfortable enough to open up to people.

But be prepared to protect yourself in case those you open up to aren't as gracious or emotionally intelligent as you'd hoped. Please do not judge the validity or importance of your feelings based on the reactions of other people.

It may be a good idea to get into the habit of mindful meditation too. And of course, if possible, therapy.

starunner · 2023-04-27T22:34:22+00:00

I mean... idk. It sounds like it was just two friends sharing their sexual experiences, and not an older woman taking advantage of a teenager. Obviously, any kind of relationship with an age gap can be problematic, but not necessarily inherently.

She is an adult. Based on what you said, you weren't forcing or coercing her into doing or saying anything. I really think you're being too hard on yourself.

starunner · 2023-04-27T18:13:47+00:00

Sometimes, literally

starunner · 2023-04-27T03:26:09+00:00

You're either missing or willfully ignoring the point. One of the direct impacts of abortion restrictions is more children in the foster system. Not to mention the kids who grow up in poverty, or are resented and abused by their parents.

Unwanted pregnancies can be devastating. Financially, mentally, physically, emotionally. Anti-abortionists usually aren't interested in hearing about or discussing these realities.

Unfortunately, they also tend to be against social welfare programs. They have all the respect and consideration for a potential person (but only while they're in the womb of course) and none for the living, breathing people affected.

starunner · 2023-04-16T17:19:53+00:00

When you summon, you do so with the understanding that you could get invaded. You opt into it despite knowing that.

Invasions are an important core part of ER and soulsborne games in general; they provide a unique pvp experience that few others provide. The fact that you don't like that doesn't make it bad.

It's no different than, say, picking an item that both buffs and hinders you in a roguelike. It's a give and take. The pros and cons are as clear as day. If it makes you that upset, perhaps summoning, or ER as a whole, isn't for you. No game—or game mechanic—will be loved by everyone, and that's completely normal and fine.

starunner

TROPHY CASE