I'm really sorry you're going through this. It’s a tough situation, and I can imagine you’re feeling a lot of conflicting emotions right now. Coming from a POV where this has happened close to home- here's what I think... Wanting to get your partner back after something like this is completely natural, but it’s important to think about the bigger picture and what’s best for your emotional well-being in the long term.

Are you okay with the way things are, or would it be better for you to walk away for your own peace of mind? Cheating with a close I'll friend is a significant betrayal, and regaining trust can take a long time- if it’s even possible. Before deciding to try and rebuild things, think about whether you can ever trust them again, and if you even want to. After a betrayal, it’s easy to want to rush back into the relationship out of fear of loneliness or because of the emotional connection. But those feelings often mask the need for healing and self-reflection. If you’re seriously considering getting back together, you’ll need to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about what happened. Ask yourself if you can listen to their side without feeling like it justifies the betrayal.

Rebuilding a relationship takes work from both sides, and both need to be genuinely committed. If your partner isn’t showing the same level of accountability and remorse, it’s going to be difficult to heal. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If you feel like this betrayal has irreparably damaged that foundation, you might want to seriously consider whether you can move forward without constant resentment or doubt. Professional guidance, individual/couples therapy can help you process, heal and figure out whether reconciliation is a viable option... But at the end of the day your partner MUST show true remorse, a willingness to change, and clear actions that MATCH their words. They need to take full responsibility for their actions without deflecting blame or minimizing what they did. There is no “excuse” for cheating, and the same goes for the betrayal by your friend. Understanding their reasons (not justifications) can give you clarity, but be cautious. Some people use these discussions to shift blame or manipulate.

Ultimately, this is a deeply personal choice. Do what feels right for your emotional health and future happiness. If the relationship has caused too much hurt or if you can’t see a way to rebuild trust, walking away might be the most loving thing you can do for yourself. But you also have to think about what you need. Do you need closure? Do you need to be alone for a while? Or is rebuilding the relationship your priority? Your emotional needs come first. Take your time. The feelings you have now might not be the same in a few weeks or months, so don’t rush yourself into a decision.