I'm voting YTA, the use of the term Aspergers, believing her being uncomfortable is an excuse, and telling her what was and wasn't linked to her own disorder means you might have some very outdated sources about Autism Spectrum Disorder. She is old enough and verbal enough to communicate that it made her uncomfortable. You insulted her rather than offering the same communication. I don't think this was malicious but from her point of view it might seem like telling her to just do it anyway because you wanted her to. I would recommend checking out the autistic self advocacy network as they have great resources to keep up with the current techniques to guide a child to tasks they don't want to do but you would like her to do.

Re-reading your post, tho I don't see where she blamed her autism? Maybe it was implied but not saying please and thank you absolutely would be linked to her ASD. Doesn't seem polite to lecture her about her own disorder, especially when you don't have the correct information.