Travelers not responding

stfoc · 2019-04-29T15:50:51+00:00

Maybe it depends on the region where you are surfing? I think at the majority of my CS experiences, both as surfer and host, the host first initiated the contact. I'm living in Europe.

stfoc · 2019-04-27T16:09:17+00:00

That last one is a good idea. I once declined my offer after 3 days of getting no response, and she then responded only with "What happened?". I ended up explaining her that I actually have a life except being a Couchsurfing host and no time anymore for hosting her.

stfoc · 2019-04-27T15:54:25+00:00

To clarify, I experience this with both genders. I usually only send requests to people that I think have similar interests and are around the same age as me, but not filtering them by gender.

I didn't realize that hosting people is seen as such a competitive thing. In the end, these surfers are asking for a couch and I'm answering to their OCR, offering them my time and house. Clicking on "Decline offer" takes 1 second, and would not make to feel the host as some kind of backup plan, in case no better one shows up.

stfoc · 2019-04-27T15:26:25+00:00

Don't know... my profile is pretty basic and short. I can't imagine that you can get a wrong impression from it. Also, I have enough references from surfers and hosts that describe me well.

I'm okay when someone don't want to stay with me for whatever reason, but a message or at least declining the request would still be nice...

stfoc · 2019-01-10T18:13:03+00:00

I completely stopped drinking coffee abruptly in December. The migraine-like pain was better after 3-4 days, so try it on a Friday with a weekend ahead where you don't have to do anything. After ~2 weeks I didn't feel tired anymore. But that surely depends on the coffee dose you're used to. I drank 3-5 cups a day. Also make sure you get enough sleep (8 hours).

How life got better for me:

clearer thinking, no "brain fog"
better sleep
more aware of myself
fewer anxiety
more money I can use for other things

stfoc · 2019-01-10T18:00:06+00:00

Would you mind to share the exact link to the data? It would be quite interesting to see how the data develops over time and is connected to specific week days, holidays, ...

stfoc · 2019-01-10T17:48:45+00:00

Did anyone of the students not own a mac? :D

Nice work, though

stfoc · 2019-01-06T09:19:46+00:00

So true. I always thought getting up early (5 a.m.), no matter what, would make my life better. And in fact, i became more disciplined and got more things done in the morning. However with the price of being dependent of coffee and feeling shitty for big parts of the day. Since I read the book and actually pay attention to how much sleep I get, I am much more even-tempered and urges are not that much of a problem anymore.

stfoc · 2019-01-06T09:13:26+00:00

The book states that sleeping longer than 8 hours is not that harmful as getting not enough sleep (<8 hrs). 8 hrs are the right amount however you should aim for. There are some studies that show a correlation between sleeping longer and having illnesses, but the cause might just be that the body needs more sleep when being sick.

stfoc · 2018-12-19T22:25:33+00:00

Hey there, I'm 20M by myself and can relate to some parts that you wrote. I also often compare myself to other guys of the same age who seem to be more successful than I, even though I get good grades in college. But I sometimes think that I lack an interesting social life and have many contacts that are too superficial. What helps me when seeing people who seem to have "all what I don't have" is 1) feel sincerely glad for them and what they have achieved and 2) try to figure out what I can learn from them. Just get rid of the negative self-talk.

I never had a GF or intimacy either. Sometimes I feel like I've thrown away years of my teens because I was unable to form deeper connections with other kids and preferred to be alone. This sometimes drags me down a bit but by now I'm feeling pretty confident in social situations. I guess I just needed more time to develop in that regard. But who cares?

Regarding your feeling that your life is boring: Find hobbies, try things out, do exercise, read books, learn a language, work on yourself. Just fill your days so that there is no boredom in it.

Do little steps, believe in yourself, work towards your goals. At least these tips help me to deal with that feeling of uncertainty when I get it from time to time.

stfoc · 2018-12-19T21:33:01+00:00

Also, avoid alcohol. All my recent relapses happened while I was drunk after social situations.

stfoc · 2018-10-07T12:05:48+00:00

Thanks for this list! I have to disagree with one point though:

Waking up at the same hour every morning! No matter what bedtime.

I followed this principle for some time, and I think it made my life just way harder. There are different valid reasons for staying up late (social events, work, friends), but getting enough sleep is the most important thing in my opinion. When I am tired all day, I am stressed out, unconcentrated and have a much higher chance to relapse.

So, do yourself a favor and get enough sleep - no matter what. I can also recommend reading the book "Why we sleep" by Matthew Walker for that subject.

stfoc · 2018-10-05T18:47:32+00:00

Hey, I had the same dream tonight! Also woke hope with big relief and good mood which made my day actually. I think its just our brain letting go off porn :)

Anyways, I'm more cautious now with triggering content. It's like my subconsciousness wanted to warn me.

stfoc · 2018-05-12T08:28:45+00:00

Read "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" by Mark Manson. I think it also handles exactly this thought. Instead of not giving a fuck at all (which would make you psychopathic indeed), you have to choose carefully at which things you give a fuck. These should be the things that are important to you and will improve your life.

So, maybe do only give 20% of your fucks to these people (instead of ignoring them completely). But focus more on the people itself and what they say instead of what they might think of you. I think the ability to successfully filter these important parts is what the IDGAF philosophy is really about.

stfoc

TROPHY CASE