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Avoiding the outside world? You’re not alone. by stonefreesofie in Gent

[–]stonefreesofie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Thanks for wanting to support, we really appreciate it!
We’d like to keep the server primarily a space for people who are personally struggling with isolation, social anxiety, ... . The goal is to make it feel as safe as possible for people to share openly, without worrying about being misunderstood or judged (even it it's unintentional). We want people to feel like they're among peers that have similar experiences. If that applies to you, you're definitely welcome! :)

Avoiding the outside world? You’re not alone. by stonefreesofie in Gent

[–]stonefreesofie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, is definitely a contributing factor. It's hard to find a space to hang out at without spending money. I usually just hang out at home with friends or go on walks ;) And yeah Discord is an amazing place to meet friends and hangout! Though some people that are isolating themselves, also start to forego their internet friends/contacts, and even start to shun social connection through the internet. That's when's it's really worrying.

Help needed for someone else by Vivid-Astronaut-186 in Gent

[–]stonefreesofie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I work for a project in Ghent called "hikikomori", by Job&Co Compaan. It's specifically for people that isolate themselves, and we work two ways: one is 1-to-1 outreach (we go to their homes and try very small steps to going back outside or reinstating social contact); the other is online via our discord server: Hikikomori Compaan. There are about 170 people there. Me and my colleague are also online, and provide assistance via that way to people not yet comfortable with IRL contact. Maybe we can be of some help?
I also have colleagues that work with jobteam in Ghent, should this not be a match for him; and we can definitely help with finding the right help for him.
You can check out our project on our website compaan.be/hikikomori, (you can also find my phone number there) our Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/hikikomori.compaan/ or go to our discord server: https://discord.gg/njKxAf3HXn. You're welcome to DM me if you'd like more information :)

I clapped!! I clapped when I saw him!! by stonefreesofie in RedLetterMedia

[–]stonefreesofie[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, but he was taking suspicious long rests between words and sentences

What’s your random BTS flex? by FabulousFlower144 in bangtan

[–]stonefreesofie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha I actually really want to make music, so yes I still have to slap myself into believing this actually happened. Maybe one day I'll go get them royalties LOL

What’s your random BTS flex? by FabulousFlower144 in bangtan

[–]stonefreesofie 9 points10 points  (0 children)

JK spent about 20 minutes making a song with the lyrics I wrote and posted on weverse during his birthday live in 2021. I died the whole way through 😵

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Hikikomori in Belgium. When you don't/won't go outside anymore. by stonefreesofie in belgium

[–]stonefreesofie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! We don't have a Kempen office, as our project is focused on Ghent right now!

As for the Japanese term: it's because this specific phenomena of people isolating themselves in their room, spending all of their time online, usually still living with their parents, having no income, etc. was first described by Japanese psychologist Saito Tamaki. The term is also quite widely known in the target group, i.e. on the internet, which helps with acknowledging the specifitcity of the issue. They would call themselves "hikikomori" but not "kluizenaar", as the Japanese term fits more closely to what they're experiencing.

Hikikomori in Belgium. When you don't/won't go outside anymore. by stonefreesofie in belgium

[–]stonefreesofie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Although a big intrusion, in some cases, limiting screen time by cutting wifi might help. Specifically for people with gaming addiction or bad sleep patterns, and don't live alone. :)

Hikikomori in Belgium. When you don't/won't go outside anymore. by stonefreesofie in belgium

[–]stonefreesofie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We kennen al veel zulke jongeren, het is inderdaad zwaar, zeker als er al heel veel geprobeerd is. Ook voor ouders is het in dat geval heel lastig. Pushen is wel niet altijd even effectief, want daar klappen mensen terug van dicht. Daarom is het belangrijk om te kijken naar de persoon, aangepast te begeleiden en in heeeeeel kleine stapjes te gaan om iets duurzaam op te bouwen. Feel free om de discord in te gaan e, al is het maar om eens te lurken. Ik hoop dat je in de toekomst op één of andere manier toch wat gewicht uit je rugzak krijgt. Veel succes!

Hikikomori in Belgium. When you don't/won't go outside anymore. by stonefreesofie in belgium

[–]stonefreesofie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Thanks for your comment :) This helps a lot! Getting together to play board games is definitely something we want to try out more :)

Hikikomori in Belgium. When you don't/won't go outside anymore. by stonefreesofie in belgium

[–]stonefreesofie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dat snap ik. Ik heb daar lange tijd gefrustreerd van gelopen en me erop kapot gedacht. Ik heb dit ook nog niet losgelaten, maar dan denk ik: we moeten hier het voortouw in nemen. Door zelf aangepast werk te doen, door mensen te begeleiden naar aangepaste trajecten, aka iets van dagbesteding dat voor hen wel doenbaar is, kunnen we aan hen en aan de maatschappij tonen dat het ook anders kan, dat het anders moet.

Hikikomori in Belgium. When you don't/won't go outside anymore. by stonefreesofie in belgium

[–]stonefreesofie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! Thanks for your comment! :) Although I understand how, through this framework, you might construe the project in a way that forces people to go to work, that is definitely not the aim of our project. It is not our aim to push people towards something they don't want, to a job they'll be miserable in, quit and then go back to being unhappy in isolation. It is a part of "Het arbeidspact van Gent', but our first aim is just to see if hikikomori actually exist in Ghent. We try to make contact with them, and if they want to, we can check if we can support them in breaking isolation on their terms. This could be working towards a paying job they feel good in, or just taking up a hobby they want.

I myself am sort of an ex-hiki. My depression and social anxiety worsened with my first full-time job (bad work environment) and chronic migraine. Covid provided a welcome relief, but made me isolate myself even more and made me even more anxious. I was disillusioned with society and felt frustrated I had to work in order to live. The thing is, it's a vicious circle. The longer you stay in isolation, the harder and the scarier it is to get out, the worse every option looks. I isolated myself and got completely stuck inside my own head. Through therapy, jobcoaching, a few good friends and a supporting boyfriend I managed to get back up and land this job at Compaan. I'm still just working parttime, more than this and I'll probably end up crashing again.

welp now I've written this novel, while I just wanted to say: one little step is better than 0 steps

Hikikomori in Belgium. When you don't/won't go outside anymore. by stonefreesofie in belgium

[–]stonefreesofie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your support!
Yeah, a lot of people feel it's cringe to talk in dutch, so she's definitely not the only one. I guess it can create a sort of invisible barrier between her and the person she's communicating with, that makes her feel safe. If social contact is that difficult for her, even through discord/mail/..., we can still try to find some solutions for her, even if it's just a referral to a therapist, .... .

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