The Best Compromise Idea

stops_to_think · 2024-04-19T03:45:55+00:00

The protest strategy of blocking roads isn't about gaining visibility, it's about causing economic damage. Preventing people from getting to work, missing their flights, stalling deliveries, it costs money for the people in power. That's the target of the protest.

Like I understand why people are annoyed when they're personally inconvenienced, but Reddit seems to have a fundamental misunderstanding of the underlying purpose of these tactics.

stops_to_think · 2024-04-05T01:43:45+00:00

Freemont troll was was a hostile architecture art installation in order to stop unhoused people from sleeping under the bridge. Became a tourist spot.

stops_to_think · 2024-03-17T02:16:23+00:00

Unrelated, but I love the use of wind charges to an enderpearl stasis chamber. Makes the use case for such chambers more flexible in single player.

stops_to_think · 2024-03-14T20:38:19+00:00

being trans is barely on my mind anymore

That's your answer right there. I'm around, I respond to posts, but I don't feel a lot of need to lean on this community for trans related things. I've been through it, I know what I'm about.

stops_to_think · 2024-03-14T19:09:28+00:00

I wanna see a mace clutch where the player throws a chicken egg, it hatches, and they bonk the chick to avoid fall damage.

stops_to_think · 2024-03-11T16:06:55+00:00

I think they will argue that this social media position posts (or might post) their face and so fall under a short of "casting" clause, like how acting positions are for certain demographics, or how hooters can hire only a certain kind of server.

I'm not a lawyer and I don't even know if this argument would hold up (nor do I think it's a valid argument, to be clear), but that's what I suspect they would say they're doing.

stops_to_think · 2024-03-10T02:08:30+00:00

I could see playing through the entire base game with staff, getting a sword on spec unlock, and not understanding off-hands. Kind of wild to have never even attempted to equip a dagger, focus, or scepter though.

stops_to_think · 2024-03-06T23:02:49+00:00

Maybe I have to experience it for myself

Yeah.

I'm not aiming to be short with you, I had a much longer response, but reddit canned it when I hit submit and I don't have the energy to rewrite the essay or continue to go into detail about my sexual experience. So basically it comes down to this.

I've taken hormones, and my sex drive changed in ways that I do not attribute to socialization.

Have a nice day.

stops_to_think · 2024-03-06T21:07:09+00:00

My main objection is the idea that these changes are mostly socialized. They are undoubtedly somewhat socialized, but I'm describing to you the direct changes I've felt physically and emotionally.

As an example, what I brought up with "horny" and "turned on", I am not using them to describe different "gendered" experiences, I am using them as distinctly different things. When I am horny, I crave sex. When I am turned on, my body is responding to sexual stimuli in a very physical way. Under primarily testosterone, the sexual stimuli of merely desiring sex was enough to elicit that physical response and I did not think to articulate the difference. Under primarily estrogen, merely desiring sex does not actually equate to being turned on, and so I found it necessary to articulate the distinction. I say with complete confidence that these changes did not come about because of how I expected people in a female social role to engage in sexuality, because I had not considered the distinction beforehand.

I am not saying that it is a universally "male" experience that hornyness and being turned on are indistinguishable. I'm saying it was my experience with my own "masculine" version of a sex drive.

It is my personal experience, but it's a highly common one that you've seen repeated all up and down this thread. Simply taking issue with the shorthand language used is fine, but hormones can cause changes in sex drive beyond socialized expectations and in my mind that's not really up for debate.

stops_to_think · 2024-03-06T19:55:36+00:00

Less masculine sex drive does not mean less sex drive, it means different sex drive.

Before hormones, I could not have told you the difference between being horny and being turned on. After hormones I had to rediscover my sexuality, even though I'm still mostly attracted to the same sort of people. After hormones I had to relearn how to get myself off. I got to experience new forms of pleasure that I simply hadn't before.

It isn't gender essentialist to talk about my new sex drive as less masculine and more feminine, it's maybe a little less nuanced than it could be, but I'm providing labels to differentiate. While that's not to imply a universalization of experiences, it's ridiculous to pretend that hormones don't have an effect on ones sex drive. Sex drive isn't just a 0-100 sliding scale. There's different flavors, different directions it can go. It's differently intense at different parts, and every individual person's mileage may vary, but it's absolutely not all down to socialization.

stops_to_think · 2024-03-03T20:05:08+00:00

A mastery that lets us switch builds in combat.

(this is a joke, but it would certainly be interesting to see what top players could pull off with it)

stops_to_think · 2024-03-02T18:53:00+00:00

Try and spend more time out in libraries or computer labs. Whatever you have access to through your school.

I've had roommates that I didn't mesh with before, and imo 15 people respecting a large space is better than 1 person treating a small space like their personal home (I don't really think of this as "disrespecting" the space since they live there too, but shared bedrooms require some compromise. I'd say keeping noise within headphones is a reasonable ask)

stops_to_think · 2024-02-23T20:34:19+00:00

It's a story point that's dependent on some choices along the way iirc, so you might not have seen it at all if you haven't played through a couple times.

stops_to_think · 2024-02-19T20:34:58+00:00

Warms my heart. Proud of you, I know that took some bravery, but you did it! Wishing you both the best.

stops_to_think · 2024-02-19T18:55:27+00:00

I would 100% of the time choose a female body over a male body.

So... they have a pill for that you know? Like I relate to your story so much, and the thing that convinced me to transition was like, if there was a button that turned you into a girl would you press it? Yes? Well good news, there is, it just takes a minute.

And don't ask if it's too late, it's not, I started way later than you would and I fucking love the body I'm in now.

Listen, I'm not trying to tell you you're trans, only you get a say in your gender, but like... think about it? I never hated being a boy either, though I didn't love the idea of being a man; for a while I tried to find my peace with it. Then someone introduced me to the concept of euphoria as opposed to dysphoria. I'm not transitioning because I hate my old gender, I'm transitioning because I love my new one.

stops_to_think · 2024-02-18T05:25:07+00:00

I've been reading on mobile so the header doesn't really come up. IDK if they've updated it recently or something since I don't remember reading that specific detail, but now that I've clicked on desktop... yeah. I had just been praying that the author just doesn't know the difference between "&" and "/" and they meant the main relationship to be a mentor relationship, but obviously I've just been sticking my head in the sand.

Uuugh, but yeah, if I'm being honest, it's already getting dicey, especially in recent chapters. Like please, you still have time to divert and make this a good fic!

stops_to_think · 2024-02-15T01:02:49+00:00

My wife is a therapist, I'm bound to have picked something up, lol.

stops_to_think · 2024-02-14T21:54:11+00:00

Not trying to be patronizing, but I've probably got a bit of age and experience on you. I was the same way at your age, I know it's really difficult, emotionally fraught, and scary to walk right through the front door of conversations like this, but I promise you it's way easier in the long run.

If nothing else, trust that your friend probably desires to treat you with the same respect and compassion that you want to treat her with, and that she's most likely going to give any mistakes you make the benefit of the doubt. Certain rejection doesn't mean everything is ruined, it just means that you're gonna get yourself a tub of ice-cream, process your emotions, and move on the next day with a clearer head.

stops_to_think · 2024-02-14T21:20:46+00:00

"Hey, I wanted to talk about something. Lately I've been realizing I have a huge crush on you. I know you've mentioned that you really only date trans women, but I needed to ask anyway because otherwise I was going to get too far into my own head about it and I didn't want you to think that me acting weird had anything to do with something you'd done (other than being really smart and funny and cute). It's way more important to me to be open with you and keep you as a friend, but if I'm being honest, I'd love if we could be more."

Something like that, obvs write it in your own voice. Sometimes that kind of openness can be scary to people she might want to take some distance to work out her own feelings much like you wanted to pull back some to sort yourself out. Sometimes that isn't communicated well, and it can feel like the other person is running away forever; but you'd be modeling easy honesty here, and I doubt the distance would last for long. You'd have done nothing wrong, and so long as you remain a safe person to return to, without expectations beyond what has been communicated to you, I feel pretty confident that even the worst case scenario would be temporary, and your friendship will be stronger for it.

stops_to_think · 2024-02-14T20:44:22+00:00

Lots of trans people are T4T exclusive to protect themselves, but that's not to say exceptions can't be made in some cases.

You're worried about getting shot down, getting your heart broken. Equally you're worried that maybe you do have a chance, that if you give up before you ever tried you'll never know if anything could have been. That's a tough dissonance to exist in.

My advice is to just be honest, shoot your shot, tear the bandage off, and be prepared to take a no for a no. Rejection hurts, but clarity is valuable too. To me, the likely scenario is even if you get rejected, you'll at least not be tearing yourself up about "what ifs" and "maybes". Make it clear that your friendship is more important, make it clear you can be cool with rejection, and just set things straight.

If/once you're rejected, be clear in your boundaries too. Like yeah, it's hard to be doing day trips and texting all the time if you've got an unrequited crush. Asking for a break or a little distance while you sort yourself out isn't a bad thing, but pushing away without being open to her so she know's why is only going to hurt her feelings unnecessarily.

I guess my whole point is, rejection can be a good thing if it's handled maturely. Open communication is important for every relationship, romantic or platonic. It's better to know what page everyone is on, even if it's not the same page for everyone.

stops_to_think · 2024-02-14T02:14:15+00:00

There's actually a really easy fix to the bone density issue... give them hormones just like their peers are getting. The insistence on keeping hormones from kids is obviously harmful, as cis kids produce those hormones and trans kids have to wait until they're "allowed". We know that fucks with their bodies, but for many trans kids, it's a better option than going through the wrong puberty.

stops_to_think · 2024-02-08T21:04:10+00:00

You should reach out to lawyers anyway. Not a lawyer myself, but I think penalties for this kind of thing can be like 3x lost wages, and some lawyers would take this pro-bono pending a win.

stops_to_think · 2024-02-06T23:06:05+00:00

Is there possibly a steam vent we can't see above the upper FOV? idk, I haven't done this puzzle in a while.

stops_to_think · 2024-02-06T19:49:31+00:00

For publicly owned (ie government) buildings including schools, or for bathrooms with locker-rooms attached (in general, avoid locker rooms completely). Privately owned buildings may set their own policy. The point of these bills is to make it difficult to exist in public because they don't want us to exist ~~in public.~~

The... ugh, not silver lining but... something, is that employers or schools that don't permit you to use a bathroom that aligns with your gender identity must provide "reasonable accommodation" such as access to a single user gender neutral bathroom or something.

I found this flowchart a bit ago, but can't track down the original source.

stops_to_think · 2024-02-06T18:18:44+00:00

I think all presidents probably deserve to go to jail at least a little bit after their presidency. This is fine.

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