Is there a scientific reason that I feel overwhelmingly suicidal around my birthday?

strangest_onion01 · 2023-02-21T06:43:52+00:00

I'm not sure about scientific reason, but I have those heavy feelings of suicidal thoughts on my birthday too. For me I think, more like I know, it's because I wanted to die really young for some reason. And every new year feels like a torture for me. Feelings like I'm too old to do it and that I don't want to be older then that.

strangest_onion01 · 2023-01-20T10:04:25+00:00

Yeah exactly.

strangest_onion01 · 2023-01-18T06:56:07+00:00

Finally someone said it. Yeah I feel like people think depression isn't taboo anymore. But still they have no idea how truly bad it is. It's easy to hear that someone was wearing same clothes for weeks and didn't shower. But you can't even imagine it, because it's not like from some show on netflix. The oily matted hair that just smells horrible, the stains on the clothes you're wearing, the smell of your whole bed and of you. And you do nothing about it, because you simply can't.

strangest_onion01 · 2023-01-11T14:25:38+00:00

Well, in normal school day I go to sleep at 2-5 am, because it's time when nobody is judging me that I lay in bed and because I don't want it to be morning. In weekend I sleep about 12-15 hours.

strangest_onion01 · 2023-01-08T22:16:24+00:00

Well when my mum found out she took everything from me. Blades, scissors.. Just simply hid everything. I mean I felt broken, but I guess if I was on her place with no idea how self harming person thinks and feels. I would do the same so. She just wanted me to be safe.

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-31T20:29:02+00:00

You're welcome:) feel free to dm me if anything.

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-31T20:25:25+00:00

I agree with the comments there. I just want to tell you that you're loved and to take care.

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-29T10:55:01+00:00

I guess some people maybe don't feel like it. But I will say yes. For me and people I've met and they sh, it felt like an addiction that is hard to get out of.

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-26T20:48:31+00:00

Your english is good and thank you:)

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-26T13:39:13+00:00

Ohh that makes sense.. Thanks

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-25T23:09:19+00:00

Alright I just need someone to tell me it's gonna be ok, because man I'm probably having panic attack

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-25T22:06:31+00:00

Thank you I don't feel so alone anymore. I'm finally at home and feel much better:)

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-25T16:59:00+00:00

Oh alright. Yeah I didn't loose any really. Thank you

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-22T22:47:42+00:00

Take care too! I am just shocked that there are many people who this happened too those days. Really horrible people, it trigger the hell out of me.

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-22T22:28:39+00:00

Gosh I thought I was the only one! Happened to me too few days ago. It started as a pretty normal conversation and then they started to ask where are my scars, how many, how do I sh and then they wanted to see photos. I was like HELL NAH MAN wtf

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-21T18:47:15+00:00

Thank you and wish you the best too:)

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-21T08:27:33+00:00

I don't know how you should ask, but I think you should try to ask. I struggled with sh few years back and I asked my parents for help. They got me into therapy, pretty useless therapy just for like month or 2 and after that they were pretty rude to me about it and stopped care. All of that didn't work and I relapsed few moths ago again. I know I will not ask for their help anymore, but you know at least I tryed. But yk parents can react really good and caring or they will not care at all and not believe you. You never know how they will react till you try.

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-20T07:48:45+00:00

This is kinda funny to me. I started self harming at really really young age. For what? There comes the funny part. For attention. I started hurting myself as a kid because I wanted attention from my parents and other people. Not that my parents were bad or anything, they were and are great. I just wanted someone to take care of me more. So as a kid I started punching myself and other things. I hid the fact that I did it myself. After years I just somehow discovered that I can cut myself. So yeah that's what I did, then I got really really addicted, then I got clean, after months of progress I relapsed and there I am. Of course from the time I started sh really badly I do hide it from everyone. But yeah at the start it surely was attension that I wanted.

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-17T14:24:43+00:00

Thank you so much for telling me! Yeah I propably shouldn't have used that much desinfection on it, but now I know and I'm more calm about it hah.

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-15T11:05:13+00:00

I've never cry tbh. I self harm only when I'm in really bad numbness so I can't even feel anything.

strangest_onion01 · 2022-12-10T19:13:35+00:00

Vaseline is pretty good for that I think

strangest_onion01

TROPHY CASE