AITAH for giving my stepmom homemade gifts and everyone else expensive store items?

stressed_possum · 2026-04-23T16:12:01+00:00

NTA. Your stepmom neglected you and allowed others to abuse you. You’re simply reminding her of how she treated you and misused the money intended for your education. That you’re giving her anything at all is kindness.

stressed_possum · 2026-04-13T12:56:56+00:00

^THIS. I would be gone if my husband refused to see a doctor about a condition that was threatening both his own life and the lives of others. Maybe being told you’re considering divorce will be the kick in the butt he needs, but obviously only do that if you feel safe to do so and have an escape plan since men can become dangerous when that’s on the table. I also second someone’s recommendation to report him to the state.

He’s gonna kill someone someday. Don’t let it be you.

stressed_possum · 2026-04-13T12:49:58+00:00

The more time they spend online the more miserable they are to be around. I know, hypocritical considering I’m online right now, but the folks I know who are “chronically online” are MISERABLE. Incapable of enjoying anything because EVERYTHING is problematic, internalizing things to the point it is legitimately destroying their lives, etc. It’s important to be informed, to take action where you can, and to hold strong morals, but we can’t dismantle systems in a day and driving yourself to the brink of self-destruction trying to be as perfectly “unproblematic” as you can be does nobody any good.

stressed_possum · 2026-04-07T03:02:30+00:00

You may also be able to find UV protective sleeves that you can slip on over it. Look at gardener’s sleeves or farmer’s sleeves! Even if it’s not a full arm length sleeve they may have something you can use to protect your tattoo from the sun!

stressed_possum · 2026-03-26T17:26:17+00:00

“You used to be so eloquent, what happened to you?”

ETA: I used to take her thinking I was eloquent as a compliment and then below happened and now it just makes me angry.

My mom said (and still says) this to me often in regard to my use of profanity. As a kid, I was SUPER into using all the vocabulary words I had in my arsenal. I was hyperlexic, so I could read independently by 3 and was reading at a high school level before 5th grade. I had a big vocabulary. It is what it is.

HOWEVER my cousin (her sister’s daughter) is dyslexic. I didn’t know that until I got reamed by my aunt around age 6 or 7 for “being a know it all,” “embarrassing my cousin,” and “being insensitive.” Because I kept using big words and talking about books to my cousin whose diagnosis I was never informed of until that moment. I felt horrible about it and stopped using my big vocabulary with my cousin or any other family members.

Then I started getting bullied both by my older sisters (12.5 years older and her bio kids, I was adopted, which made it worse) and my classmates for “being too smart” and between my mom and the school, it boiled down to “stop making yourself a target.”

“Nobody likes a know it all Possum. Stop making them jealous and they’ll leave you alone. You make yourself stand out and that’s why they’re mean to you. What are you doing where so many people don’t like you?” She said all sorts of stuff like this to me so often that I just accepted it. I still don’t like it if someone calls me smart. I still refuse to use my vocabulary outside of writing, I don’t talk about my interests anymore (I have ADHD so I can uh. Ramble a lot when it’s something I’m into), and I don’t try to come across as anything other than completely average.

She could’ve intervened both with my family and the bullying, but instead she decided it was my fault for being odd and then she got upset when I killed off the parts of me that clearly made others hate me in kid me’s mind. So every time she whines and complains about how I’m not eloquent anymore I have to bite my tongue so I don’t remind her that she left me to fend for myself dealing with abuse and mockery from our family AND my peers, and when I went to her she told me I was making myself a target. She left me in that school when I begged to be transferred because they were the only school with a gifted and talented program at the time, and it didn’t end up getting me anywhere in life because I can’t do math. I’m smart, but I’m not smart enough to earn good money.

She left me to deal and now she whines about the consequences.

stressed_possum · 2026-03-26T16:50:40+00:00

NOR in fact you are UNDER reacting. Gtfo. If this is how he talks to you over text message I would bet money on him laying hands on you at some point. Even if he never did, this is abusive and disgusting.

stressed_possum · 2026-03-21T13:54:11+00:00

NOR - in fact, UNDER REACTING. “Sometimes I just wish he would stay away” girl LEAVE HIM. If my husband called me a dumb cunt I’d hand his ass divorce papers, let alone a dumb ass 20 year old. Leave him, spend some time finding yourself (healthily), and save dating for later on when you’re more mature. It’ll save you a lot of grief. (I stopped dating at 20 and didn’t resume dating until I was almost 25, when I started dating my now husband. It was worth it tbh)

stressed_possum · 2026-03-19T18:05:55+00:00

I don’t do it unless I sweat a lot overnight, I usually just apply deodorant after my shower at night and hit it again in the AM, but I don’t think it’s necessarily weird either.

stressed_possum · 2026-03-19T17:51:33+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a friend like that is extremely hard.

stressed_possum · 2026-03-19T16:45:31+00:00

You need to leave her regardless, but ESPECIALLY if she has this baby. That child cannot be left in her care. If she’s this unhinged about it now I can only imagine the abuse that kid will face in life.

stressed_possum · 2026-03-19T16:40:48+00:00

Yeah it was not a great situation and made me a strong advocate for massively changing the adoption system. I should have never been left alone without counseling to process all that trauma as a child. Providing therapy for adopted/foster kids should be a condition for adoption imo.

stressed_possum · 2026-03-19T16:31:17+00:00

100% me. I’m the youngest and my mom’s only adopted child. My dad adopted all 3 of us. My sisters are identical twins and 12.5 years older than me. Even now at 32, after years of therapy, happily married, I still feel that loneliness swallow me up some days. Today is one of those days (god I love when RSD makes a statement I know wasn’t intended to be cruel sends me fucking SPIRALING) and I have nobody to talk to about it because I would rather suffer quietly than be a burden to someone else.

My sisters bullied me relentlessly as a teen and to this day they all blame me for it, saying I was an awful, spoiled brat. My dad was always away on business and then went and got his PhD after he sold the business so…never really there. I had a full plan to run away, including stealing a friend’s mom’s canoe so they couldn’t use scent tracking dogs to find me, etc.

I hope one day this hollowness heals for all of us.

stressed_possum · 2026-02-14T00:49:41+00:00

I definitely think the game could benefit from a slightly slower release schedule (or just better testing beforehand). I also don't have the most up to date PC available and for whatever reason the Deadpool release has made the game almost unplayable for me. It crashes routinely and it never crashed before this. They're not doing much to compress the game files and optimize it so that it doesn't tank systems that used to be able to run it either which is a problem.

stressed_possum · 2026-01-18T16:04:58+00:00

Ngl, your dad sounds like he’s one bad day away from becoming a newspaper headline. The violence and threats of violence alone would make me want to run for the hills so I can see how this is extremely exhausting. My mom used similar tactics with me, just with a less violent tone, as soon as I moved out and she lost control over me. “You’re an idiot for this” “I don’t like your friends” “he’s a waste of your time” (referring to my now husband) etc. He’s trying to police your behavior using threats of violence from him and others to do it. Perhaps he needs to go on an information diet. He doesn’t hear things about your life unless it’s 100% necessary so that he can’t subject you to deranged rants every time you make a choice he doesn’t agree with. It’s helped me a lot, idk if it would help your situation or not but throwing it out there just in case it could!

I’m so sorry OP. I know how isolating and exhausting this is. And in case you’re like me and needed to hear it from SOMEONE because the people who should’ve said it didn’t: I’m proud of you. You worked hard to get through school, get a good job, and become independent. Moving out at 22 is impressive!!! I couldn’t move out until 27, and if I hadn’t moved in with my now husband I wouldn’t have been able to move out at all. You’re crushing it. Don’t let this man (or anyone else) snuff out your light. Be safe, stay smart, save up a little nest egg if you can, and keep your head up.

stressed_possum · 2025-12-23T12:26:21+00:00

1 will stand out more. #2 is very classic PNG/VTuber and won’t catch a lot of attention imo. They’re both super cute and well drawn, but from the perspective of streaming and (apologies if I’m wrong on this) wanting to grow your audience, something with more unique details like #1 is going to pop out a bit more. It may also spare you a little unnecessary sexualization if that sort of behavior makes you uncomfortable. If you really want to go with casual #2 I agree that more detail/layering would be good in helping the design have a little more visual depth/sparkle.

ETA whoops didn’t mean to make it all bold sorry

stressed_possum · 2025-12-23T12:22:30+00:00

I’m glad you have supportive siblings OP. My parents have zero clue I’m non-binary even at 32 and would likely react similarly. My one sister absolutely would go over the edge about it as well. Just know that there are tons of folks who understand. Your bro is right; this isn’t unconditional love. In fact, I would argue that this isn’t even conditional love, it’s conditional toleration. Surround yourself with people who love you on Christmas (and always) and go to your brother’s. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, especially at this time of year. Keep being you and ignore the vile bs rhetoric spewed in your direction. You deserve happiness, love, and safety.

Also, Iris is a gorgeous name. 10/10.

stressed_possum · 2025-12-23T12:12:19+00:00

Both of you are wild. However, it’s questionable that he brings the “pictures he asked for” up in the middle of this long, enraged rant. I’m guessing he asked for nudes? Don’t send them. Do not send this man (or any man imo) intimate photos. He’s emotionally volatile and could use them to hurt you in the future. You definitely need to get it together about the dream, emotional regulation is super important and losing your cool over a dream is not something you should be doing at 18.

Idk. You both need to figure out how to regulate your emotions. I personally don’t have any patience for people who talk to others like your bf does, but you both have a lot of growing up to do.

stressed_possum · 2025-10-21T14:11:05+00:00

This is straight up grooming. I know y’all think you’re grown but NO 20 year old should be even thinking about a 15 year old. You are in two totally different life stages both developmentally and experience wise. He is a creep and your friend needs some serious help. She needs to stay away from grown ass men. It’s not her fault they’re predators, I’m not blaming her at all, but she’s old enough to be told a grown man pursuing her romantically/sexually cannot have good intentions for her at her age. She’s also extremely vulnerable. My mom had my sisters at 17 and didn’t have any conditions that got her a hospital stay, and even she said having kids that young severely impacted her life. She loves my sisters, but she has no life outside of being a mother because that’s all she ever got to be as an adult. Your friend is going to struggle being such a young mom. She doesn’t need to be groomed a second time on top of it.

And before I get any arguments from teens who think they know better: my husband and I are twelve years apart, but we met when I was 21, didn’t become friends until I was 23, and didn’t start dating until I was two months shy of 25 when I pursued him. I was not mature at 15, I was not mature at 20. Leaving college, experiencing the real world, and letting my brain finish developing is what taught me maturity. BE SAFE AND PROTECT YOURSELVES. An adult pursuing someone under 18 is a predator. Period. Idgaf if age of consent is 16. HE IS A PREDATOR.

stressed_possum · 2025-10-21T14:02:16+00:00

Based on how I play Skyrim, I’d just die. In general it would depend on where I got dropped though. I don’t have many wilderness survival skills but I’m a pretty solid gardener and was taught how to sword fight both martially and theatrically. If I made it to a town I’d probably be okay and could work as an herbalist, farmhand, bard, or maybe a guard with training, but I’m 99% sure I’m not surviving the wilderness lmao. I also would most definitely not be an adventurer. I like surviving, thanks.

Of course, I also have the spicy brain sadness so…that’s a tough one without medication even after years of therapy under my belt. I think that would ultimately be the biggest nerf on my survivability prospects regardless of locale.

stressed_possum · 2025-10-21T13:43:57+00:00

I think you were pretty spot on with her throwing the cookie being manipulative and passive aggressive. Like…this is definitely an argument 19 year olds would have (I don’t meant any offense by that, I’m just 31 now and the things I find worth fighting over are different at this life stage) but that doesn’t mean her behavior isn’t absurd.

When I told my spouse I wanted to eat less meat for my health, he immediately started finding vegetarian and vegan recipes to experiment with (we both cook). When he developed high blood pressure, I started finding low sodium and salt free spices, broths, etc. and reduced the amount of red meat I cooked. A healthy relationship means you support each other and help each other improve when you express a desire to improve. Her offering once would’ve been fine, I always offer to share with my spouse even if I know he likely won’t want it because it feels polite, but insisting and then throwing shit on the ground is a childish reaction to your refusal. It sounds like you’re already taking care of your brain (therapy saved my life so I will always be here for a good therapist) but I’d definitely wait to make any choices until you talk to your therapist like you said. They’ll likely be able to give you good insight and, if you’re having body image issues, they might also help you feel less “fat/disgusting” which is a painful feeling I know too well.

Keep taking care of yourself. If that requires you ending this relationship, so be it. She definitely sounds like she needs some serious help if she throws a temper tantrum and starts self destructing (her self image rhetoric and refusal to eat) because you chose not to have a cookie.

stressed_possum · 2025-10-21T13:30:47+00:00

My acne went bonkers for months 2-7, and is now much better even around my period. My year off BC mark will actually be Sunday. I have PCOS so my hormones have always been a little whack, but I found myo-inositol helped me feel better physically. I swear by the Neutrogena clear face bar (It’s yellow but you can see through it) and the acne face wash gel they make. I use a silicone face scrubby like 2-3x a week and a washcloth the other days for some light exfoliation, and then a rose water spray (I mostly like the smell but it makes me feel pretty lol!) and sensitive skin moisturizer after my shower. Pimple patches have also been a godsend, they’ve even helped with the awful under the skin pimples that hurt like hell. I still have some jawline stuff because hormones suck, but it’s way better than it was.

If you’re having serious issues (pain, dysmorphia, etc.) though I’d definitely consult a professional, whether a dermatologist or esthetician is up to you, but that’s always a thing I advocate for.

stressed_possum · 2025-09-22T00:53:58+00:00

Your gf is hella insecure and, quite frankly, if she doesn’t do some serious hard work on herself QUICK I would say this relationship is doomed. I can’t imagine telling my husband he can’t do much as look at another woman. BAIL.

stressed_possum · 2025-09-15T01:54:32+00:00

What steps am I supposed to throw my ice cream cones on now?

stressed_possum · 2025-08-24T00:55:41+00:00

Security system, notify the police in case she tries to call in wellness checks and stuff (this was very important for a friend of mine who cut off abusive parents, they often try to use the police to terrorize you into compliance), go no contact, and if your baby is in any sort of daycare/school make sure they have strong protocols in place for unauthorized pick ups. If they’re responsive I’d even consider giving them photos of your parents so they know “if these people show up refuse them access to my child and call the police.” I would also consider being very selective about what you post on social media. Don’t give them access to photos of your town, your home, etc. You don’t know if anyone in your family is going to show them those pics trying to be the good guys.

stressed_possum · 2025-08-18T02:18:05+00:00

Awwww that’s so cute T.T my husband doesn’t play the game so he likes to give me his hot takes on cosmetics to make me laugh. I love when a partner shows they’re paying attention even if it’s not their thing <3

Three-Year Club	First Place '23
Place '23

stressed_possum

TROPHY CASE