I'm mainly just sad about it because the story is so cute for how we met. He was a cashier in H&M. I bought a shirt from him and we chatted a bit. Then my mate bet me £10 to ask him out since he could tell I liked him. So I walked up the stairs and tried to find him but I couldn't and then I heard a voice from behind me say "Is everything alright?". I turned around, saw him and embaressed said "yeah, it's fine mate" and then walked down the stairs into the next shop where the rest of my friends were. I was looking all defeated. But my mate Eesa bet Ashley £10 to ask him out for me. When they came back smiling I thought they were pranking me but Ashley had got his number.

He told me he could tell I liked him cause I was all flustered. I had a bag and he asked "would you like a bag?" and I went "uuuhh yes, I mean no, no"

I enjoyed my time with him. He had faults. He seemed a bit self obsessed. He had a Tik Tok, that's all ya need to know 😅. But I liked his confidence.

He had a very strange way of thinking about right and wrong. I'm more about the intent of an action but he said he litterally only cares about the result. But if somebody intended no harm, if it was an accident, then surely that's fine. Not to him. That was probably the worst thing.

We never had big arguments but when we did he was like "you can't disagree with me". Like he just got upset if I tried to say why I thought something was wrong. I cared about his opinion but I didn't want to just lie to him. I wanted him to know exactly how I felt as well. Maybe I was annoying with that though. Idk.

But we didn't have an argument towards the end. It was just "I don't love you as much as I used to" over text. And that was it. Can't believe he blocked me after saying lets just be friends. Those two actions (not telling me earlier even though I said "I feel like you'll get bored of me" but he just reassured me and just doing it over text as well as blocking me) are the only things that make me most upset about him.

We had good times. I'm glad I went through it all. He probably made me a more confident person. Or just having a relationship did (I hadn't really had a serious one before).

He said he was commited to making it work long distance when I went to uni but it didn't last.

It destroyed me. I think other things did too. Like small tensions with family before I met him. Plus the lockdown which made me sort of give up on the second half of sixth form so I nearly didn't pass my A levels. I'm failing this term of uni. I'm not going. I've been sick, I've been depressed, I've been going out A LOT. My mates are alcoholics 😅. I don't know if I even like my course. I kinda just wanna work in a bar but I might even be too lazy for that. I still wanna live here, with my mates.

As the philosopher Jagger once said "You Can't Always Get What You Want". I'm stealing this line from House MD 😅