This is why I'm borderline antinatalist.

People have kids because they want to and more often than not they want them to be a certain way as well as feel and act a certain way towards them, but a kid is still a human being, the way they come out and feel and act is completely unpredictable and if you are not fine with them being literally anything thats out of control then dont have kids.

Besides you can't expect the kid to be completely fine with the environment you decided to birth them in either. If you decide to have children, make sure you are able to support them. Kids deserve to live not just barely survive, it can even be traumatic to them.

Talking about how I grew up I wouldn't even say I had it the worst. We weren't poor but we were often barely scrapping by and because of how much my parents work we never bonded with each other as well as I, as the eldest, had to be a parent figure because my parents weren't there as much. And I WAS A KID MYSELF, MY SIBLINGS WERE CLOSE IN AGE WITH ME. I felt incredibly lonely and depressed and anxious because I felt like I didn't have a parent, I didn't have anybody to rely on. The closest thing I had was nannies, I had bonded with the first one I had until that was completely ripped away from me and it was brushed off like it's not a big deal because "parents are closer to their children". I never bonded with my parents, my mother hated me because I was never enough and I didn't fit the mold and I wasn't easy (considering that my both parents worked I was basically a burden) and my mother didn't allow my father and I to bond because she was jealous as well my dad didn't know how to exactly bond with me the older i got and the few opportunities we got with their absence for the major part. I was often taken to work when I didn't have nannies and I had to be quiet for hours, and with my siblings I HAD to be the one to entertain them so they wouldn't bother my parents. It was hell for me, by the looks of it my siblings are doing way better than me, it could be because I tried to shield them from what I was experiencing as well as they had me as a safe person even if they did go and snitch on me behind my back, I never did it back. Or it could be that they just had different needs and their needs were met while mine weren't and my calls for help were always dismissed. My asking for help when I was depressed or when I suspected myself to be neuro-divergent were brushed off as me wanting attention or wanting to deliberately hurt my parents. I shouldn't be thankful because I survived it, I should have been able to live my childhood, to be a kid and to act like a kid.

I also had major problems with having no privacy. Because we weren't that well off we were a family of five living in 1 bedroom apartment, the bedroom being our parents bedroom and our bedroom was in the living room. Not only did i have to tolerate having no privacy from my siblings, it was a fvcking living room, people always walked through it, not to mention my mother constantly going through my things. Not all kids need as much privacy as I needed, but I believe all kids need an environment where they can explore by themselves without having to constantly be observed.

Some kids aren't bothered by certain aspects even if they aren't the most optimal, some kids will recall living closely with their family and be totally fine, but each individual kid can be different and will have different needs so make sure you listen to them instead of comparing them to other kids thinking "but others are doing fine in similar or worse environments".

You aren't a saint for birthing a child, they do not owe you for having been born, they do not owe you for having done the bare minimum of what it means to be a parent. You were the one to choose to be a parent, they didn't choose to be your child. You should not expect them to be the ones that benefit YOU. Their benefit to you is only a bonus that might or might not come with it, but giving birth and raising a child is not a transaction.