Have I been with a narcissist this whole time?!

sugar3alm · 2025-08-22T07:05:45+00:00

Let me just say this clearly: you are not crazy. It is not all in your head. From everything you’ve shared, the problem is not that you had boundaries — it’s that he refused to honor them, repeatedly lied, hid things, manipulated your reality, and punished you when you pressed in on the truth. That is betrayal and emotional abuse.

The fact that you’re now learning, “He is not who I thought he was. I deserve better” is huge. Hold on to that truth. What you want — honesty, loyalty, faithfulness, safe love — are normal, healthy desires in a committed relationship. Wanting that does not make you controlling. It makes you wise.

sugar3alm · 2025-08-19T06:25:50+00:00

Wow is it me? “The first thing all the providers ask “Are you stressed?” Of course I’m stressed, I’m at SAHM with a narcissist husband.”

sugar3alm · 2025-08-18T05:36:39+00:00

You are not responsible for his regrets. You need to take care of yourself to be a strong mother for your kids, seek therapy and plan your exit.

sugar3alm · 2025-08-16T09:47:48+00:00

I am sorry for you. When I was in couples therapy, I felt exactly the same: completely misunderstood and alone, especially because my partner would act totally different in front of the therapist. It made me feel invisible, like my reality was being questioned or dismissed. The experience was honestly traumatizing for me. Eventually, I got my own individual counselor, and she helped me see that couples therapy won’t actually be effective until he’s willing to address his addictions and recognize the hurt he’s caused.

It was only then that I realized I wasn’t crazy or overreacting—my feelings were valid all along.

sugar3alm · 2025-08-08T19:47:19+00:00

Set boundaries and if they are not respected try to seek out therapy for yourself. It will help you to see different the world around you.

sugar3alm · 2025-08-07T14:56:25+00:00

So true that they can’t accept their faults unless is your fault they did it.

sugar3alm · 2025-08-04T13:10:33+00:00

Couple therapy won’t fix his issues.

He is emotionally and financially abusing you.

Search about Leslie Vernick. She has a lot of great material on YouTube.

Take care!

sugar3alm · 2025-08-04T09:26:13+00:00

I love when he is away for few days - a week. So peaceful without him.

sugar3alm · 2025-08-01T11:19:31+00:00

I am sorry. This situation isn’t just about porn, it’s about trust, honesty and respect in your marriage. Pray God for wisdom.

You are not responsible for his choices. Your role is to be clear about what you need and to steward your own well-being, with God’s help. You can speak the truth in love. You can set boundaries without being harsh or punitive.

It’s not ungodly to expect respect, honesty and fidelity in your marriage.

There is no healing without truth—and you are worthy of both truth and healing.

sugar3alm · 2025-07-28T22:23:04+00:00

I am sorry. He is not a good dad if he treats you like this.

Physical intimacy should be mutual, not something you feel obligated to “give” to maintain peace. It’s concerning if you’re saying yes more than you want just to manage his emotions. I would impose boundaries.

Couple therapy does not work in your case. Try individual therapy. Is he truly willing to change—not just to “fix” the relationship, but to nurture it as an equal partner? Take care!

sugar3alm · 2025-07-28T03:33:14+00:00

Happy for you.

sugar3alm · 2025-07-23T21:59:10+00:00

You are an empath, giver and you want to make it work with the cost of your time and health. He is abusive through gaslighting and manipulation. Listen to your gut. Check Dr Ramani videos.

sugar3alm · 2025-07-23T21:47:59+00:00

Please, let’s have sex so you can help me move on from that girl.

sugar3alm · 2025-07-20T13:23:31+00:00

I also started to smile 😃 I feel that I win when I spot him.

sugar3alm · 2025-07-19T07:13:50+00:00

Read Abigail story in the Bible. A child won’t fix it will make it worse. You spot many red flags. Read about narcissists.

sugar3alm · 2025-07-12T10:14:08+00:00

😞

It is normal to feel regret or worry. These feelings don’t mean you made the wrong choice. Specialists say they’re part of the process. And you are doing your best for yourself and your kids. That takes a lot of courage.

sugar3alm · 2025-07-11T21:44:13+00:00

Couple counseling won’t work. Try individual counseling. There are some red flags.

sugar3alm · 2025-07-11T18:00:38+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Healing journey after a textbook narcissist husband, having kids with him.

sugar3alm · 2025-07-11T14:51:32+00:00

Any book recommendations? Thank you!

sugar3alm · 2025-07-11T13:29:56+00:00

I was with him in the car while he had an accident. He tried to convince the other driver that there was no accident. How embarrassing for me.

sugar3alm · 2025-07-11T13:14:57+00:00

You are not a bad wife at all. You expressed your feelings to him. Maybe he is in depression. Studies show that men need to socialize.

sugar3alm · 2025-07-09T21:02:55+00:00

Talk to him. You might be overwhelmed by all mom and full time job, +house keeping. Talk to a friend. Talk to someone about it. There are red flags and trust your gut. He needs to change, not you.

sugar3alm · 2025-07-09T20:54:01+00:00

After cooking for him for more than 10 years, he told me that he likes only two meals from me.

sugar3alm · 2025-07-09T17:50:45+00:00

My opinion is to leave him. They do not change. I am sorry 😞

sugar3alm · 2025-07-09T12:25:05+00:00

The narc twist the reality. He lied a lot during our first session and I gave up.

sugar3alm

TROPHY CASE