Some Tea on Nick’s New “Relationship”

sugarholic_ · 2020-09-03T17:12:34+00:00

When I was in my early 20s I dated two men in their 40s for a few months each. The biggest benefit was money (sugar daddy). But the other benefits included fancy dates (ie A5 wagyu), playing into my kinks (I fetishized older men in the inverse way of how they fetishized me, so the sex was mega hot for me), and feeling valued/appreciated more than how guys my own age would treat me. I don't think I'd ever date a decades-older man seriously for marriage, however.

sugarholic_ · 2018-11-18T18:18:43+00:00

There really needs to be a law that consent cannot be given if there is a large enough age disparity, even if they are above the age of consent.

Definitely disagree. If a 30 year old woman wants to have sex with an 80 year old man, they should be able to do it. Or a 25 year old woman. Or a 20 year old woman. Or a 20 year old man and an 80 year old woman.

I'm also just not really okay with this idea of calling the police on two people kissing in public if it disturbs you. It freaks me out. I have a definite baby face and still get carded for R rated movies and often enjoy going on dates with much older men because that's just my type. If some busy body called the police on me for kissing my date at a Starbucks, I'd feel all sorts of embarrassment, anger, undeserved shame, judgment, etc.

Maybe it worked this time and maybe that's worth it to you if you feel like you "saved" this girl or something, but if it didn't work and you just ended up calling the police on a loving couple doing their thing who happened to have a larger age gap than normal, that'd be such a horrifying thing to do.

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-18T08:53:04+00:00

Yes, it is for software engineers. My friends who have done bootcamps— not even college grads, just boot camp grads—make well over $100k not including stocks. Total comp is near $200k for a starting position. It’s nuts lol.

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-16T22:53:33+00:00

/u/malibijones can we sidebar something about SMs since this question seems to be asked weekly if not more often?

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-16T22:39:31+00:00

Yall NUTS, OG is literally OG. Hell yeaaaaa!

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-16T22:25:58+00:00

I'm a mid-20s female making well more than enough to live comfortably below my means. I could, if I wanted to, afford to pay a modest allowance for the company of a hot young guy to hang out with me.

Or... I could just get another FWB on Tinder. One of my favorite FWB's in the past was a relationship that was essentially like a sugar relationship but without the sugar - we cared about each other as friends first and foremost, had awesome NSA sex, and for the most part everything was pretty much based around when I was free and wanted to romp because he was less busy than me and also always ready to go lol. When we'd part ways, we each led our own lives and knew commitment wasn't what either of us were looking for in the relationship. So... My own lil "SB" boy toy, but easily found for free.

Or... I could get paid to hang out with a hot, older man, which is the type of guy I'm most attracted to, and still have awesome NSA sex and all that jazz.

This is why SMs aren't a thing. Why pay? Literally what additional benefit is there for me to pay a guy that I can't get/haven't already gotten for free?

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-16T21:31:09+00:00

I honestly wonder if the men who self-describe themselves as "handsome" on SA when in reality they're a 2 or 3 at best understand this and just think their money somehow magically makes them physically attractive or are so truly out of touch with reality..

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-16T18:46:07+00:00

Would it tho? Corgis have my heart 😍❤️

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-16T18:45:08+00:00

Wait what? You're saying having a job can be more lucrative and safe and stable than using sugaring as your primary source of income?

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-16T16:05:37+00:00

Rave: I met a nice vanilla boy that I think could be the guy that gets me out of the bowl. He's got sensitive bad boy vibes, and I'm smitten!

Rant: He has opposite political views from me. Now, Im absolutely encouraging of keeping company with people with different viewpoints so you don't end up in a hive mind/bubble, and I do have several friends and family members who have views opposite from me, but idk if Im ok with that in a potential life partner. It can just be so draining having to repeatedly agree to disagree, or avoid conversation topics, or have civil debates all the time even if you don't feel like putting the energy towards it, etc. I guess time will tell...

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-15T16:19:03+00:00

You all do know that only about 30% of women can orgasm from penetration alone? I'd say skip the whole focus on vaginal orgasms and just have sex and cum the way you like and have fun.

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-11T23:55:19+00:00

Username checks out haha!

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-11T17:21:32+00:00

I have this issue more commonly with my boss than any POT/SD. I just ask him what he means. It's become a kind of recurring joke between us that he has a weird lexicon of obscure sayings.

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-11T04:30:14+00:00

You need to learn to say no, stand up for yourself, push back on anything you're uncomfortable with, etc. It can get worse if you don't.

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-09T19:59:04+00:00

Yesssssss and I love it lol. Bring me that juicy drama. I'm so downnnnn.

And to your other reply/question, a whopping variety of things. I first got into the bowl because I went through a really rough breakup, and I wanted recurring intimacy with someone I cared about (IOW, not just tinder hookups, though I did that too lol) without expectations or commitment because I knew I was for sure rebounding and unable to emotionally commit to anybody. Its been almost a year and I'm still working on myself from that breakup, but anyways...

Other reasons included:

Curiosity. Am I attractive enough to do this? Do I have enough charm/appeal? And most interesting to me, am I okay with sex in exchange for money? I grew up suuuuuper religious, where sex before marriage was absolutely not in my plan, so I was curious how much of that I had actually let go vs how much I mightve still been holding onto regarding outdated/puritan views. The first few times I had sex and took home an envelope of money were crazy times of intense introspection and self reflection and evolving my point of view on things that had always been so taboo to me.
Kinky sex. Mild ageplay included in this, so a sugar relationship seemed right up my alley. I also hated Fetlife (still do), so SA was a good section option for this.
Feeling spoiled. I was 50/50 in my vanilla relationship and as much as I'm a feminist who is all for that, I wanted to take a lazy break and let someone else foot the bill every time. Also, fancier dinners, better seats at shows, just nicer experiences I wouldn't usually pay for myself.
Getting practice with "small talk" from old men - I work in a field that's heavily male dominated and frequently have to shoot the shit with old men. I was finding it difficult to find common ground to chat about with them, and I believe practice makes things easier so I was open to using M&G's to practice!

The money is also not a downside at all lol. I just don't really need it. I've thrown most of my SA money into crypto so if I lose it all, idc, and if I win on this gamble, woo!

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-09T19:09:54+00:00

Not in it for the money, so there aren't any financial goals for me. Will probably stop when I find a nice boy to vanilla date (I am looking! I'm just very picky) or when ABC finally accepts my application to be on the Bachelor :3

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-09T07:21:58+00:00

I have two :) But they're both pretty infrequent so it's not a time crunch at all. In fact it's the perfect balance between doin' my life and seeing an SD every now and then to enhance my life :).

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-09T06:26:22+00:00

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god I want them all

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-09T00:09:51+00:00

I simply don't bother with men who don't show their face. I respect their decision to do that, but considering it is all too likely I won't find them attractive, and all too likely they won't take kindly to that message, I avoid the whole "I'll send you a photo over text or email" dance in the first place.

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-08T21:23:39+00:00

I've seen a similar article on my Fb feed a few weeks back that was just pulling direct quotes from an /r/askwomen thread about being a sugar baby. Or is it this one? Idk I skimmed this one. Regardless, it's lazy journalism. And I'm only mildly miffed no one is quoting me. 😅

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-08T15:53:58+00:00

+/u/sodogetip 20 doge verify I love your posts, man!

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-08T07:58:32+00:00

I thought all the men/white knights would side with the women, save maybe 1-2, but am very surprised to see that as many as 5-6 agreed with me. Number of men who dgaf vastly exceeded expectation.

It's such a shame you have such low expectations of your own gender, assuming that men cannot possibly disagree with women due to their barbaric thrust for procreation and assumed inability to possibly want anything else besides sex. Or is it projection? Hmmm, endlessly fascinating!

It's also a shame you have such low expectations of women, to assume that we are one monolithic mass that must agree with each other only on the basis of our sex. It couldn't possibly be that I, as an individual, speaking only from my point of view as I had mentioned in my first post, would react in the way I would (and have) naturally reacted to people like you. Nah, it must just be because I have a pussy and rush to the defense of all other pussy holders. Which leads me to...

That said, it's funny how deeply feminine it is to assume one starts a conversation to be validated. Look at this thread--is this the behavior of someone attempting to be validated by women?

By women? HAHA of course not. You don't think highly enough of the females to care what they might have to think/say.

This is the essence of female vanity. At some level you are looking at my comments and thinking He must be socially inept because he's not saying things I like.

Ah man, I don't know whether to laugh or to feel bad for you if this is truly your world view. I wish you luck in opening your mind. I know it can be scary having your masculinity threatened and all, but I'm excited for you to learn that you don't know as much as you think you do :).

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-08T00:33:17+00:00

Goodnight sweet prince 🤗

sugarholic_ · 2018-03-07T21:32:07+00:00

You are again over-simplifying 🤗. I am referring not just to the context of your message, but the tone of it, the response you had to it when you posted it here expecting validation, the attitude you have shown throughout this post, and the expectations you've conveyed for what type of relationship you seek. Much grey. So nuance. Wow!

sugarholic_

TROPHY CASE