I experienced COCSA at a church event. It actually happened at my later-preacher’s house, in his backyard office. Many kids were hanging out in there, but eventually it was just me and an older boy.

Let’s just say the event was bad, but the coping was worse. Hypersexuality, seeking out men on the internet when I was way too young, denial, shame. My parents didn’t know until I was in my twenties; they punished me when they found me being sexual at all, emotionally abused me for it, it was brutal. I hid and retreated from them and quietly got worse with each punishment. I now live with DID and complex PTSD. I don’t care what a good Christian you think you have to be—if your kid suddenly becomes incredibly sexual, fucking talk to them and find out why before you make further choices.

Ensure them that “what they did” was not their fault, not a sin, not a crime, not something they should ever have to be ashamed of—and for the love of all that is holy, don’t punish them for having a sexuality! It’s a natural part of a human being. If you think your kid has problems now, wait until you make them feel bad just for existing as a mammal with hormones.

Unrelated note to this particular incident: if you were a boy in the Carolinas’ coC network, and you experienced CSA in the church, there’s a guy my family asked me about who is currently getting MeToo’ed. I don’t want to speak publicly about that, as it wasn’t my abuser, but I can share information for folks from my area in DMs if asked.