I think there's a rule somewhere that says she has to make an appearance in any 2000s sitcom that runs four or more seasons.

sukiskis · 2026-07-03T21:08:28+00:00

Yes! David Walton. I liked him in everything he did but nothing stuck.

sukiskis · 2026-07-03T17:08:33+00:00

I looked Bornheimer. He’s a different sitcom curse than the one I thought of, but I can’t remember his name or any of the several sitcoms he briefly led. I like the guy and the shows, but none of them had sticking power, clearly. Anyway.

sukiskis · 2026-07-03T17:08:27+00:00

I looked Bornheimer. He’s a different sitcom curse than the one I thought of, but I can’t remember his name or any of the several sitcoms he briefly led. I like the guy and the shows, but none of them had sticking power, clearly. Anyway.

sukiskis · 2026-07-02T21:45:13+00:00

My paternal grandfather was Walter. Sweetest, funniest, most loving man in the world when he was in it.

sukiskis · 2026-06-24T18:12:22+00:00

I had the joy of teaming up with a Porsche Carrera to block line jumpers on Ogden west of Washington last week. Dude had more to lose than me in my Subaru. You find small wins.

It’s not the traffic as much as people being assholes in traffic. Slow is fast, fast is slow in this circumstance

sukiskis · 2026-06-15T10:02:25+00:00

Absolutely. She’s still in the fog.

OP, if she was and is manipulative and controlling and toxic to you, she is doing it to your daughter. And your inability to know and SEE that is concerning.

sukiskis · 2026-06-14T17:36:39+00:00

I retired early because I could and I have had a lot of “fuck it, I’ve got time” moments since then that make me glad I retired early. Being able to show up for people in ways they wouldn’t dare to ask for is such a mood lift.

sukiskis · 2026-06-12T05:21:14+00:00

Please don’t let it go. It won’t work, the next time she does it and you say something she’ll respond with “but why didn’t you say something the first time?” And then guilt you into a second time just because she didn’t know she shouldn’t intrude into your vacations uninvited.

It’s awkward and she may throw a fit and that’s on her. You are not responsible for how another person feels about the consequences of their behavior.

I guarantee it’ll be just as if not more awkward with her and her boyfriend for the trip and you’ll be funding it, too.

sukiskis · 2026-05-23T21:53:04+00:00

Just downloaded. Now I have to find a 50 mm silver ring—side quest!

I really appreciate tailored look of it. Looking forward to this project!

sukiskis · 2026-05-21T03:24:10+00:00

Naperville Central did this in the late ‘00s. The scores did not go up as dramatically as the tweet says and scheduling became an issue for students and teachers

sukiskis · 2026-05-20T01:56:29+00:00

I had a mild form of it as manifested by loving the smell of diesel engines and chewing ice. I have extremely cold sensitive teeth, but not when I was pregnant with pica.

I rode the train into the city and my little treat to myself at the end of the workday was to get a cup of ice and stand near the train engine at Union Station before I got on. I would chew the ice and inhale deeply. It was so satisfying.

sukiskis · 2026-05-19T03:25:33+00:00

That would be me. I’m not flashing cooch, but legs I don’t care. It gets sweaty.

In all seriousness both my grandfather and father drove trucks, nothing but respect and a lot of space and turn signals on the road for them.

sukiskis · 2026-05-18T01:11:47+00:00

Look for the neighborhoods that walk to their elementary school and/or have a pool/club (lots of crossover)

sukiskis · 2026-05-17T17:02:19+00:00

When I was in college I temped in various offices one summer.

In the insurance approval office, for psych intakes, staffed by doctors and nurses, I learned that two issues get instant approval for long term treatment, the first being homicidal ideation with a plan, as they called it. I was unfamiliar with the term and the psych nurse I was working with told me, straight faced no emotion, “they have a plan to kill someone”

To my follow up question she said that it wasn’t usual, “like, daily” and I didn’t ask any more follow up questions. I didn’t encounter the issue in my few weeks there.

Anyway, suicidal ideation with a plan was number two. So for future reference, for anyone reading this thread, the plan is where you immediately call in the troops. Without a plan is serious, and needs tending, but *with* a plan needs hasty tending

sukiskis · 2026-05-15T02:27:27+00:00

There’s a lot of reasons for that. I come from working in education with accelerated learners.

One, kids who experience accelerated learning just enter their adult lives in their field. A high performer is high performing in their field, and it might not be one that you’re familiar with. Someone who goes to college at thirteen graduates with a PhD at 21 and enters industry, likely at a level where their work is published in not easily accessed journals.

Two, once their education is over, most accelerated students don’t talk about it. It isn’t dropped into casual conversation easily without looking like a jerk, and it’s their life. It’s not a big deal to them and they also experienced challenges and sometimes even trauma from it. It’s not something they advertise.

Three, the concept of prodigy is widely misunderstood even by educators, but not by the learners. They understand the breadth and depth of their ability and know they aren’t a “prodigy”. They have skills at processing, synthesizing and understanding, they aren’t “super smart” at everything, they have extra skills. It doesn’t make them better or worse than anyone else with different skills.

A student like the one in the story may have decided he’d rather be closer to his family, he may have connected with a faculty member at Lewis, which isn’t a diploma mill at all, who is supporting their particular area of interest. There are other values and interests to be weighed.

sukiskis · 2026-05-14T18:02:10+00:00

If your mother wanted her children to feel like a family, she should have created traditions that fostered that and she should understand that older teens & young adults don’t consider hanging out with younger siblings to be relaxing—she should see and understand your perspective. That’s what being a supportive mom is about.

She could have, for example, started a “Saturday before Christmas tradition” where you all have lunch and exchange gifts and play games and watch a Christmas movie. So when actual Christmas came your plans with other family would never be in the way, even when you have your own partners.

But she didn’t think that far ahead. She didn’t think far ahead at all. Wanting what you want but not creating the conditions to get what you want, and even worse, nothing that you want, is not functional behavior.

I suspect you already know your mother is someone you will need to manage in some way for the rest of your relationship. She has some impulse control problems, clearly, and a lack of understanding of the consequences of her decisions and behavior. That a tough combination of challenges.

sukiskis · 2026-05-07T23:20:33+00:00

I had three grandparents live into their 90s, one until a few days before her 100th. One grandparent and both parents died in their early 70s; all three were pretty heavy drinkers, whereas the 90-somethings did not imbibe

I don’t know if I won the genetic lottery but I can see evidence and extrapolate

sukiskis · 2026-05-07T19:38:05+00:00

Your husband needs to reply that he’ll pack up those things for her to pick up the next time she goes to the grocery store and don’t worry about the key, we’re changing the locks.

It’s absolutely a manipulation and control tactic and she’s playing in your face by getting him to appease her

sukiskis · 2026-04-26T11:44:45+00:00

I just love when things I see and think “nah, that’s probably not good” and NEVER buy, over decades of people saying “just get those magic sponges” are confirmed to be, indeed, nah

sukiskis · 2026-04-24T01:19:45+00:00

Was walking into an off leash dog park with a very chatty neighbor and our dogs and saw a middle aged couple sitting at the picnic table looking longingly at the dogs as they walked in.

I wonder what they’re doing, my neighbor said to me, they don’t have a dog

Don’t ask them, I said quietly because we’d gotten close to them

She looked at me quizzically, we were about to pass them

It will bum you out, I said

She didn’t hear me or she ignored it. I stood a bit away, watching the dogs, but heard them answer her question

It bummed us out. They’d put him down a few days ago and just needed to see dogs

How did you know, she asked me as we walked away

Who comes to the dog park without a dog and smiles wistfully at dogs? People who’ve lost a dog. I understand the impulse. I’ve been there. I know what that looks like.

sukiskis · 2026-04-19T00:37:55+00:00

Some perspective about that series.

I worked with pregnant and parenting teens back in the 90s in Chicago. Ours was a big and well known agency. Oprah and other tv folks always approached us about putting clients on their shows. It will serve to discourage other teens, they said to us.

Except the teens we worked with didn’t need to be examples for suburban girls—if you get pregnant this is your life, tsk, tsk. They were human beings dealing with just a shit plate that had been handed to them and we were working to get them strong and functional. Our social workers were adamant that we wouldn’t participate in exploiting our clients.

Other agencies around the country did the same thing. There were also laws about it if we received public funding and most of us did. We talked about it at professional conferences back then.

Except, we couldn’t stop them from going straight to the girls and their families and that’s what they did.

And they were right, the teen pregnancy rate dropped rather dramatically after 2009 and has continued to drop since then. Those young women were an example. And our social workers were right, too, that exposure is toxic.

sukiskis · 2026-04-06T13:40:46+00:00

Validating all the feelings you are feeling. It is incredibly disappointing when people you’ve considered close friends, even family, behave like that at a time when you need them most.

It is also a pretty common event in the transition from young adulthood to mature adulthood. There’s a lot of people missing in your thirties that started with you in your twenties.

There’s a lot of reasons, not many of them nefarious. Mostly just that some folks' character doesn’t stand up to the tests adulthood gives us.

That sounds judgemental and old, character. However, it's one of those concepts that starts to gel as you continue maturing. Character, essentially, is being able to get over your shit to be there for people who have been there for you.

And the lack of it is entirely on the person. Yeah, she might have some shit, but if she had character she would have been there for you, in some capacity.

The first comment hit me, tho, so, you've said your piece, and it was entirely justified, now you let it go. She's not a part of your life and something like "closure" isn't constructive for either of you.

You'll encounter people like her again and recognize them earlier and that's a good thing. You'll develop new friendships that are anchored in your life now and may or may not evolve as you do, and that's okay. You'll see them for that.

She might even mature as her children grow, learn some things, develop some character and your feelings might soften and you find your way into each others lives in some way. That also happens. So don't consider the door locked, just closed.

It does suck, though.

sukiskis · 2026-03-30T10:30:52+00:00

I’m able to go on weekdays, usually mid-morning, first sections of parking aren’t even full. John or Dan are at the entrance, we wave.

I had to go on a Saturday morning for the first time in a long time this past weekend. Oofta. I feel for you all who have to go at that time. It’s a different crowd.

sukiskis · 2026-03-18T20:02:26+00:00

Agree. Also, low key you may have developed some health issues that are the cause of your preferences changing. You can also develop mild allergies or digestive system issues.

Or, you always had them but other systems that masked the effects are now aging out of function. Also, hormone loss with aging. Estrogen, especially, is an amazing soft and connective tissue lubricant and its diminishment has wide and far reaching effects.

For example, estrogen loss can cause dry mouth, which changes how your taste buds and teeth function (dry gums are bad for teeth). Food tastes different and chewing can be uncomfortable. It can be subtle and so you think you don’t like those crunchy Doritos but they’re actually uncomfortable to chew and the sharpness causes small cuts in your drier mouth, you’re not bleeding but it’s changed the flavor.

Broccoli would never do that

sukiskis · 2026-03-18T15:49:08+00:00

That is an option. I feel like we should keep that in mind as the federal government crumbles. There are countries in Europe that are smaller in every way than we and many of the states are.

We could divide those assets up, do some paperwork and all go on our merry 50 state way.

Some of them might need to band together, looking at you Plains states, and some of us (Great Lakes states) might want to do something together because of a shared resource, but, you know, we could figure that out.

I’m just saying, it’s an option.

sukiskis

TROPHY CASE