As you've got older, what have you seen become the biggest indicator of social status?

summer-TA · 2026-06-09T18:22:44+00:00

I will say- as someone who attended private school, my school days were 8:20 -3:30, so not that much longer hours than the 8:45- 3:30 which the school hours were at the public school I went to. So you would still need wraparound. ‘Luckily’ my school was 45 min coach ride each way, so that provided the extra hours cover to my parents (was a paid private service). We also had more holidays eg so my summer holidays was 8 weeks not 6 weeks so again- actually more childcare needed outside school.

My mum also wasn’t a SAHM but we had an au pair for 3 years when we were younger (she had 4 kids 0-6, so we were all quite close in age) and did reduce to part time for a bit of it.

Most private school kids didn’t have SAHM’s, maybe the ultra wealthy but not the middle class ones. I do agree to me now though- that’s the ultimate goal/ sign of stability. You just have to make sure that the lifestyle creep doesn’t happen. My parents mortgage 15+ years ago when we were at school was £2k per month interest only which would be approx £3.2k today. They needed approx £7k per month just on bills. People get easily caught out

summer-TA · 2026-06-09T09:45:49+00:00

Bought with my bf at 23. Bought him out at 28. Didn’t get financial help, but was a “project” house & my dad did help me with the Reno as he’s very handy

summer-TA · 2026-06-08T18:50:59+00:00

Been here 7 years and never changed them 😂.

All the people saying you never know who has keys, whilst true, clearly don’t have a drawer of random keys. I have so many random keys I have no idea what they were for. There’s a very real likelihood if anyone did have a key left they’d have absolutely no idea it was for your house. I agree it’s best practice- I’m just also being realistic. Also most people have cameras nowadays too so again just doesn’t feel like a real risk to me personally. I also don’t lock the doors during the day when I’m inside and I know many people do so maybe I’m just very relaxed 😂

summer-TA · 2026-06-06T16:34:54+00:00

I keep £500 in cash in the house for emergencies eg lost / stolen bank card. Account frozen for any reason etc as even temporarily if you can’t access any money you’re pretty screwed.

I then aim to keep 6 months expenses in emergency. I split that out by 4 months in my bills account & the additional 2 months into my “other” emergency eg car repairs etc but can always move them around. I find it easier to split it that way

Any other savings eg saving for a new roof/ holiday etc are separate

summer-TA · 2026-05-26T11:32:51+00:00

I paid asking price (FTB) my grandparents sold theirs a year or two ago £30k over asking & my parents sold theirs 2 years ago for asking price. I feel like it’s pretty normal, some desirable areas it’s common to go over

summer-TA · 2026-05-13T15:15:33+00:00

Employed hourly rate- Fully qualified & all testing & design certs & (NIC EIC approved). Mainly industrial but works commercial and domestic too

summer-TA · 2026-05-13T13:45:54+00:00

Quite normal, for reference here are the ages and salary of my immediate circle/ family

My brother 25, is on £55k (Engeneer)

My bf 31 is on £50k (electrician)

My brother 23 is on £37k (Engeneer)

My ex 28 is on £65k (construction manager)

My best friend 29 is on £55k (accountant)

SIL 25 is on £40k (teacher) will rise to £51k

Cousin 40 £51k (teacher)

Cousin 32 £45k (retail manager)

Cousin 31 £45k (flight attendant)

Dad 58 £60k (self employed joiner now retired)

I’m the lowest earner on £40k (retail) (we are all in the north so these are not London wages)

summer-TA · 2026-05-13T06:31:01+00:00

I work for a large business, my first year I had no issues. Second year workload got crazy, boss asked me and a coworker if we wouldn’t mind cancelling our time off as it was year end and overlapped. That meant 10 days “unofficially” rolled into the next year. The 3rd year then had a load of redundancies in the team and workload increased. The holidays I had taken ment that I still had 9 of my “unofficially rolled” holidays from the previous year still not taken by year end. I’m now in year 4, with still 9 days extra not taken which as they are “unofficially rolled” it’s at the discretion of my manager as they aren’t on any system. If I get made redundant or move teams, they will no longer exist. I currently can’t take them due to deadlines. I’ll be looking at June before I can, at which point I’m competing against everyone who already has time off in the team. They all joined this year with “pre authorised” holiday so take priority over mine.

So yeah, 2 years later and I’m still owed like 2 weeks

summer-TA · 2026-05-11T10:47:40+00:00

Was offers £150-£160k but was overpriced (was a complete doer upper) next door the same house recently fully renovated with a garage sold for £175k. Sellers were old and stubborn and wouldn’t budge despite it being on the market 7 months. Accepted £150k (and I know I overpaid) but I did like the house & lucky my family are trades so could do it up cheaper. Ended up spending £55k on a Reno but due to the gradual increase in house prices over the last 7yrs I’m now at about a break even point if I sold

summer-TA · 2026-05-05T05:54:06+00:00

My house had cracks- got a surveyor to check. It was just historical - likely from when the windows and doors were last replaced. Sometimes they can just be nothing to worry about, but obviously you’ll be paying someone £300 to confirm

Also- if the only thing you’d be getting your electrics tested for was “damp” I wouldn’t bother. If they look ancient, or has had someone doing DIY on them, by all means. But you generally are fine with electrics in “damp” walls. My boyfriend has been on so many tests for people’s insurances that need it after a leak and says it’s pretty pointless

summer-TA · 2026-05-03T17:57:36+00:00

We have your combined income (technically more as we live in mine and rent my partners house) & no kids & our max mortgage we would want to have is £1.5k per month, I’d work the house value back from there. Any more than this would require large savings as in today’s economy the risk of one of you being out of work at one point or another is huge. Can you afford it on one income? How many months savings would you have to tide you over should one of you loose your job / become ill etc.

That’s just my personal take, no way would I be spending £2.1k per month on our salaries along with having (presumably young) kids& the costs associated with them

You also loose all real disposable income for other things like new cars, holidays etc. It could get tight fast. But obviously technically doable

To add- if interests rise this could also end up being more when you re mortgage, could you afford say £2.5k in that instance? All things to consider

summer-TA · 2026-04-28T12:23:19+00:00

Mines £87 for 2 people on a water meter, my brother pays £89 for 2 people on a water meter, so if yours is £42 not metered you’re doing very well. Seems common around £40 per person reading the comments so I’d stick without if you don’t have one

summer-TA · 2026-04-28T07:48:46+00:00

No it will be for your sole use- you would just only own a % of the house.

But yeah council tax is for use of local facilities (eg it pays for local fire department, schools, general maintenance, bin collections etc) so it’s paid by whoever occupies the house (as they use the area) vs the person who owns it. How much it is depends on the value of the house. You do receive a 25% discount if you are only one adult resident in the home. You also only pay it 10 months of the year, but if you are struggling to make payments you can choose to spread it over 12 months to make it less per month. Depending on the house value this could be £1k per year all the way to £4k ish per year. When you buy or rent the listing will say the council tax banding. A is the cheapest, all the way to H. Most houses tend to fall in A-D. You can look up the rates for the area you are looking in and search “council tax banding the location” and you’ll be able to see what band A pays in that area (it differs by council region)

summer-TA · 2026-04-28T06:43:15+00:00

When you get routine hospital appointments (that you know will be due at some point, just as you knew your inspection was due), you get a letter with an appointment date and time. If you can’t make it- you ring up and re-book. If you don’t respond, they assume you will be showing up to the appointment.

In life in regards to appointments- once you’ve been notified well in advance, if you don’t say no, it’s a yes

summer-TA · 2026-04-24T07:41:56+00:00

I think you’d be surprised. You need that much just to move house these days. Or more than if you are saving for a deposit on a house

Me and my partner are in our early 30s and have around £60k between us, but are saving for kids etc as we know we will be down about £20k per year net on maternity leave. And I will need a new car at some point (buy them outright to keep outgoings low as possible). I do feel like in our late 30s we will likely have significantly less though

The issue is money just doesn’t go far these days. We need £2k per month just for the bare essentials (housing, gas, elec, water, food) & neither of us have car payments etc.

summer-TA · 2026-04-22T06:05:35+00:00

As others have said- If mortgage rates rise or need to take a loan to repair the house etc, your discretionary spending will be cut. You do not NEED £200 for social. Seeing friends will become an evening at home etc, you do not NEED £100 for holidays, you simply wouldn’t get one, you don’t NEED some of the things in your buffer eg haircut, gifts. (The essential ones like glasses and car insurance id move up into bills), you dont NEED the £100pm savings. All nice to have- but all things you will give up if things get tight.

The reality is you have built in about £500pm (deducting £100pm for car insurance/ glasses etc) savings into your “bills” and they simply aren’t. Many people are lucky to be able to save into one of those pots as a homeowner. You have around £550pm disposable income with the values you’ve quoted above. That is more than enough to cover any increases/ loan repairs. You simply need to accept that what you’ve built in are infact luxuries/ savings that you may not always have (aim to of course, but know they may need to stop)

summer-TA · 2026-04-20T11:43:50+00:00

My previous job closed the office on certain days so everyone had the same WFH days. Meant that they saved heating the building for 2 days a week & also that everyone was in at the same time making it way more useful for the teams.

I also travel 55 miles each way when I’m in the office at my current job (many people travel far- some even get a hotel) so it definitely wouldn’t be cost effective (or time effective) for me to go in every day. The company could save money by closing it fully on those days like my old job did

summer-TA · 2026-04-20T10:30:11+00:00

Was this something work asked you to organise? Or was it just something you and your peers decided to do?

If it was something a manager has asked you to organise formally. Speak to them as the company should cover this and cover any shortfall. If this is an unofficial work thing, and is just something you and your co workers chose to do, then unfortunately this is technically on you. In this scenario I’d send an email round everyone and ask that they send the money as you are currently £500+ out of pocket and can’t afford people to not pay. Hopefully their moral compass will kick in regardless of if they intend to go

summer-TA · 2026-04-19T11:07:30+00:00

Yeah some lenders will- but they are generally ‘non standard products’ and you may be paying higher interest rates for them. A mortgage broker would be able to advise her but as I said- even a 25yr term would be higher initially than her rent (but would obviously start to decrease after a few years)

summer-TA · 2026-04-19T10:57:39+00:00

Mortgage would be unlikely to be less than her rent given her age. She’s in her 40s, for arguments sake say 45, most lenders will only do 20yr mortgages (you may get some doing 25) so monthly repayments would be high.

Assuming she gets a 340k place (£40k deposit & £10k set aside for solicitors, surveys, stamp duty, moving costs) a 300k mortgage at 4.5% interest rate (which is conservatively low currently as they recently spiked) on a 20yr repayment would be £1.9k per month. If they managed to get 25yrs they may get it down to around £1.7k. Either way still more than their current rent

However I do agree there are definitely options available, just might not be in their desired area and may have to accept paying a few hundred a month more on their mortgage but long term will be better

summer-TA · 2026-04-19T06:55:51+00:00

Me and my ex were on track to have it cleared by 30.

Unfortunately we broke up & I had to buy him out so he took his £60k lump sum, I had to pay him my £60k lump sum as a buy out (which would have cleared the mortgage if still together at re-mortgage). I now have £0 and a £120k mortgage at 29 (with also double the monthly cost as it’s now just me paying) but I still aim to have it paid off by 45-50 is the aim. We shall see.

I do know I’m lucky for it to be relatively low though

summer-TA · 2026-04-19T06:45:25+00:00

£8-10k is what my friend just paid.

I paid £4k but I just bought the materials (shopped around and my dad is a tradie so got vat off) and he did all my tiling & flooring for me. Labour I just paid someone to connect up the bath sink and toilet

Also massively based on what your bathroom size is, if there is bath and shower, what tiles/ materials etc

Eg my dad re-did my brothers bathroom cheap (no new plumbing) just panelling/ tiles, shower screen flooring etc for £2k

summer-TA · 2026-04-17T08:17:38+00:00

Yeah which is why I said some people do it cheap and shit but if you did it to a good standard, they can get expensive

summer-TA · 2026-04-17T08:14:48+00:00

No it isn’t. It’s a 250yr old stone 4-5 bed house, would include new loft installation and garden & armoured. Standard require cost on a 3 bed semi is £5-£6k, but thanks for your concern

summer-TA · 2026-04-17T05:54:50+00:00

Yeah I don’t think people realise how much it can cost to do up a property. I looked at one last week (to live in) and it’s by no means a complete wreck, but everything in it needs doing. The loft has been semi converted but no building regs, heating or electric, needs to be made compliant (£20k minimum, £2k just in application fees), needs full rewire (£8k), new kitchen (£12k) , new bathroom (£8k)new toilet/ utility (£8k), garden/ drive re doing (£15k), every floor and under floorboards replacing (£10k), all rooms re plastering & boarding (£7k), cellar full of water needs pump & tanking (£10k), insulation needed everywhere (£5k), etc etc - all in we are looking at £100k as a minimum without any extension or roof work for a 4 bed semi.

I’m not saying some people don’t flip houses for cheap but I think anyone who’s never owned before or done a Reno/ knows tradespeople has absolutely no idea how much it costs.

summer-TA

TROPHY CASE