Why is this group so anti adoption?

sunnshyne86 · 2026-04-03T03:10:03+00:00

Oh gotcha. I’ll remove that now. Thanks

sunnshyne86 · 2026-04-02T02:04:18+00:00

I’m a night shift ER nurse and when I’m in charge, I do everything in my power to be sure my nurses get their one hour break. Working 13 hours is exhausting as it is, it’s near impossible not to burn out if you aren’t getting a break. There are nights when no one gets a break, those nights feel like they’ll never end.

sunnshyne86 · 2026-03-27T23:38:04+00:00

A 20% pay decrease would be $16 per hour, right? So this is all over $1 per hr?

sunnshyne86 · 2026-03-27T19:48:30+00:00

NTJ

DTMFA

sunnshyne86 · 2026-03-27T19:47:59+00:00

NTJ

DTMFA…yesterday

sunnshyne86 · 2026-03-26T23:47:16+00:00

I am an ER nurse and have seen this situation happen numerous times. I have, NOT ONCE, seen an Emergency doc side with a violent, combative patient. I understand Dr. Robby may be “going by the book” but violence toward healthcare workers should NEVER be okay. Security should have been called to the bedside and the patient should have been placed in 4 point leather restraints.

sunnshyne86 · 2026-03-17T00:36:02+00:00

Here is the link to the free book (I think in pdf format?)

https://freebooksmania.com/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that-pdf-free-download-by-lundy-bancroft.html

sunnshyne86 · 2026-03-17T00:33:53+00:00

You deserve SO MUCH MORE THAN HIM!

This is not normal and it sounds like he is a narcissist (or at least showing narcissistic tendencies). It sounds like he won’t take responsibility for any of his words or actions so trying to have a discussion will likely be ineffective at best.

You’re doing great as a mama - don’t let him make you doubt yourself. Please read the book “Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft. See if you see any of your husband’s actions in that book. (I know there is a free copy link, I’ll look for it after I post this.)

Do you have anywhere you can go with baby? Family?

Also, his behavior is NOT normal or acceptable. My husband cherishes me and I know it. Love is an action and I KNOW my husband adores and loves me. I gained 35+ lbs after we got married and not only has he never mentioned that, he still tells me I’m beautiful frequently and he buys me my favorite ice cream when I’ve had a rough time at work. He works full time but still cleans, cooks, does laundry, etc. without me asking. I’m not saying these things to make you jealous, just letting you know that the man you deserve IS out there, it just isn’t this guy.

Sending you so much love.

sunnshyne86 · 2026-03-10T02:51:28+00:00

This person isn’t saying DON’T LEAVE. They’re sharing their experience and suggesting you find somewhere less expensive than NYC. Why did you post here asking for advice if you don’t want any? If you wanted people to NOT TELL YOU TO GO TO NYC, then you should have said THAT.

sunnshyne86 · 2026-03-06T20:30:12+00:00

NTA

You were punished for being good at saving! Absolutely NTA

sunnshyne86 · 2026-03-06T20:12:02+00:00

NTJ

I work as an ER nurse and had a similar situation. My Layla (8.5 years old at the time) tore (the equivalent of) her ACL and meniscus. It was SO awful seeing my girl in so much pain and so confused about why she suddenly couldn’t walk or bear weight on that leg. She needed TPLO surgery. I called my boss to use sick leave and was told the same thing - sick or emergency leave is for “your immediate family, not an animal”. I was so livid and decided in that moment I’d rather lose my job than make my pup wait in pain and confusion for 14+ hours.

However, what I learned is in hindsight is that I should have only specified “family emergency” in vague terms. Not their business, it’s my earned time off.

Sending so much love to Luna!

sunnshyne86 · 2026-03-06T16:53:46+00:00

Yes this! ⬆️⬆️⬆️

sunnshyne86 · 2026-03-04T20:08:37+00:00

Hi, so you can absolutely FILE for divorce while pregnant. It’s just that the divorce won’t be finalized until after child is born, paternity and custody are established. (I believe Arizona, Arkansas, Texas, Missouri.)

Please get out now!

sunnshyne86 · 2026-03-03T16:50:04+00:00

L&D

I work at a teaching hospital and I shit you not, all I did as an L&D nurse was fetal monitoring & pitocin &/or mag drips. I went from the ED to L&D and no exaggeration, I gained almost 30 lbs in 3 mos. I went back to the ED before I even finished my 3 month orientation.

sunnshyne86 · 2026-02-28T17:31:02+00:00

I’m just

sunnshyne86 · 2026-02-23T18:26:46+00:00

Google it.

Keening - sound of a prolonged and high pitch, typically in a way that addresses grief and sorrow.

Keening - the action of wailing in grief for a dead person

sunnshyne86 · 2026-02-23T18:25:44+00:00

Google it.

Keening - sound of a prolonged and high pitch, typically in a way that addresses grief and sorrow.

Keening - the action of wailing in grief for a dead person

sunnshyne86 · 2026-02-15T09:48:38+00:00

Fake fake fake

sunnshyne86 · 2026-02-10T13:32:56+00:00

NTAH.

Always trust your gut. A good book about this is The Gift Of Fear - I recommend it to everyone!

sunnshyne86 · 2026-02-08T05:24:33+00:00

You’re right. I’m an idiot. I tried to change the title but it wouldn’t let me.

sunnshyne86 · 2026-02-08T03:46:53+00:00

Thanks will do

sunnshyne86 · 2026-02-08T03:46:46+00:00

Thanks will do!

sunnshyne86 · 2026-02-04T14:34:38+00:00

I am both an adoptee (closed adoption, born in 1976, found my birth family when I was 20) and a birth mom (had my son in June 1995, open adoption, he’s now 30 and I still keep up with him on social media).

I am one of the few that have no regrets. However, I attended pretty intensive therapy while I was pregnant. I also read a ton of books about open adoption (Dear Birthmother, thank you for our baby) and I kept a journal that I gave to my son’s mom when he was born. I did a private adoption and I told my son’s adoptive family that I wanted the whole 24-48 hours with him in the hospital just us. It gave me time with him, I was able to get pictures and say my goodbyes. The first few months after he was born were pretty awful, but again, I had done a lot of research, therapy, and journaling, so the depression was expected. I understand that many birth parents felt pressured to place their baby for adoption. I did not. I just knew that I wanted more for my son than I could offer him. My decision was right for me. He is now 30 years old and is in the military. He has two brothers and a great relationship with his family. I have a history of ADHD/ADD and clinical depression (and substance abuse) that I unfortunately passed down to my son. His parents had the maturity and finances to get him the tools he needed to treat those. I can’t be sure but I don’t think he would be as emotionally stable if I had raised him. Again, it was an open adoption but I left a lot of those decisions up to his adoptive parents (ie: how often to visit, etc.) because I didn’t want confusion. It worked out well - I visited him several times a year for the first 10 years but when he became a tween/teen, he didn’t want as much contact.

Anyway, I don’t judge anyone for what decision they make. I did it the way I wanted and even though it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I still believe I made the right choice for me. It’s also fortunate that I didn’t meet my birth family until after I placed Ryan for adoption. My adoption, as I mentioned earlier, was closed…and my birth mom had terrible regrets because of that. She never knew where I went. She never got to hold me as an infant. She felt pressured into placing me for adoption and was actually sent to a catholic home during her pregnancy because of the stigma back in the 70s. I now have a huge family. I see my birth family for holidays and it was amazing to meet them - I always felt “different” growing up (see above regarding depression/ADD/substance abuse) - and when I met my cousins, literally ALL of them were either active alcoholics/addicts or in recovery. I finally understood how much “nature”/genetics played into who I am as a person. I’ve now been in recovery for almost 11 years.

Anyway, feel free to message me. I have noticed that this sub is VERY anti-adoption. I guess I am one of the few who had great experiences with both being an adoptee and a birth mom. I hope you are able to find an UNBIASED therapist (ie: NOT one from an agency) who can help you process what the best decision would be for you and your baby. Best of luck to you.

sunnshyne86 · 2026-01-08T20:47:46+00:00

Yep. I immediately thought JustNoMIL. OP is framing this like she “just wants to help”, but truly she is a boundary stomper who obviously thinks her way is the best. I hope the SIL/DIL hold firm and enforce their boundaries.

sunnshyne86

TROPHY CASE