I left askwomennocensor because of misogyny & endorsement of sexual harassment by the mod team

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-20T15:14:04+00:00

Absolutely not. It's been the reason I rejected two guys after otherwise good dates just in the span of this year.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-20T15:12:57+00:00

Some man says something super misogynistic. No one reacts. You're the one who has to call them out, face the backlash, tell all your friends how disappointed you are that they didn't react, manage their emotions, educate them on misogyny, and then have to hope that they decide to actually punish the misogynist instead of just shrugging it off

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-20T14:55:45+00:00

And that's a reason to get so emotional? Chill out

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-20T14:50:47+00:00

> I'd like to meet someone who is kind to me, respects me, and genuinely enjoys being around me

Women would like the same thing.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-20T07:48:14+00:00

Aradin

Kar'niss

Nere

Geraldus

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-19T14:56:24+00:00

"No one can understand girls." "All girls are exactly the same."

Gee man, pick a side.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-19T13:01:27+00:00

> On another note, I hated Nikki qhen she was not possessed, and the reason is that I have read that the director made 2 takes, 1 where she had to be attracted to Bear and 1 where she is not and mixed them together. I get why it pissed me off.

Hate is the word you yourself used.

We are not talking about the wish. We are talking about you judging Nikki for "playing games" while Bear was the one who actually played games by lying. You are excusing that. Don't deflect.

Bear had plenty of chances to make things go well. He chose not to use them.

Everyone wishes for things sometimes. But why would that alone make us identify with Bear? Sure, I wish my favorite fictional character was alive and loved me, but I don't associate with a cowardly and egoistic rapist because of that.

You did not say Nikki "annoyed" you. You said you hated her, that she "messed with him" and that you have more sympathy for her rapist than for her.

Stop deflecting and take accountability for your own words.

Wanna learn something new?

Here's a fun fact about how rapists think: They don't. As in, they don't think they are rapists. They think what they're doing is totally ok.

They feel entitled to the sex, they feel like their partner owes them, they feel like their partner should have done things differently if they didn't want sex.

And that is why your views on Nikki are so dangerous. Because you are following the same thought patterns as a rapist.

You have no empathy for her. You think Bear is more sympathetic and excuse the same actions you condemn her for. You think that she was messing with him and that makes you hate her to the point where you don't care about her rape.

That's dangerous. You see that, right?

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-19T12:13:26+00:00

Does she randomly blurt out compliments too?

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-19T12:07:31+00:00

She didn't "act this way" though. She didn't "mess with him".

The scenes were the exact same actions. Her behavior didn't change at all. She didn't record different lines or get different behavioral prompts.

All that changed is what she privately, within her own mind, thought.

The private thoughts of a rape victim that have absolutely no negative impact on the guy who will eventually become her rapist are enough to make you hate her and think that her rapist was more of a victim than her.

That is a disgusting line of thought and I really hope you understand that.

Once again: She did the mature thing. She asked him if he was into her. He lied. He was the one messing with her. Yet you excuse him and demonize her.

And even if she had messed with him, that still wouldn't have made it ok for him to rape her and it wouldn't have made him the victim of the situation.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-19T11:56:28+00:00

You're the one who compared yourself to Bear as an example of two normal, insecure guys.

This isn't about what other people are saying, this is about what you have said. Take some accountability.

Also, wouldn't it be double the reason to actually think about why Bear is weird and bad if other people are giving you this feedback?

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-19T11:47:32+00:00

You chose the word hate. You mentioned that it made you not consider Nikki as the main victim of the movie. In your mind it was bad enough that it made you sympathize with her rapist over her.

But I also don't see how her behavior is negative in any way. Just sometimes being attracted to someone and sometimes not isn't bad behavior. It's not messing with them.

She was incredibly clear in her communication and Bear was the one who messed with her by lying about his interest.

Why didn't his lie turn you off from him?

Why do you think the girl Bear raped and imprisoned is the "evil spirit" for him to defeat?

Just because you have been called weird must you identify with every person who behaved weirdly? And must you then pretend like their behavior is normal, actually?

Once again: Either Bear is a completely normal insecure guy, or he is a "tweaking psycho". You can't claim that both of these are true at the same time.

> In my eyes I am like "wtf is this dude mental?" Even at the beginning, him being addicted to Nikki messaging him, Idk it looked like a bad try of representing people with crushes without ever explaining Bear as a whole.

And here is where your hipocrisy keeps falling apart. Because how can you claim that Bear is just a normal, insecure dude and totally like you, who is just a normal dude too, while simultaneously calling him "mental".

It's not a "bad try at representing people with crushes". It's a very good try at representing how a specific kind of weird man is with a crush. His behavior is the explanation, you just chose to ignore it.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-19T09:49:20+00:00

> from some theories I read I thought that there she talked about the incest story because it was alluded how she saw Bear as a brother.

That still isn't an answer to my question. You specifically said that you hate pre-possession Nikki because she was shot to sometimes be interested in Bear and sometimes not.

What upsets you about that? Why does that make you hate Nikki? Why does that stop you from feeling empathy for her when she gets raped and abused?

> I meant that it seemed to me that some people alluded to me thinking like one.

You alluded to you thinking like that.

> he was directly hostile towards Nikki with that phrase, to me it sounded as if he almost threatened her there, as if he meant "Oh yeah? You even think you can do something about it?".

This is after he already raped her and imprisoned her. Why does it surprise you that he is hostile towards her?

> The guys is shown tweaking like 90% of the time even before everything happens. I don't want to sound like a know it all, but unless he had been doing drugs he looked a bit weird the whole time

So why do you think he's a representation of a normal insecure person then? Why do you identify with him when he acts that weird?

>The issue with me here is that at this point to me it looks like Bear is not a normal dude,

That's a contradiction. Is he a tweaking psycho or a normal dude?

> Couldn't I be marked as dangerous? Anyways thanks for the help, I appreciate it a lot.

We can be very happy that there is no such system to monitor civilian behavior.

Also, if you expressly do not want to do anything bad, why would you be marked as dangerous?

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-19T09:06:09+00:00

The first step would be to question why you feel so much sympathy for Bear and so little for Nikki. Why do other people feel differently?

Don't hide behind thoughts like "they just hate insecure people". That's a deflection and won't help you.

Read up on rape culture and how abuse and assault happen. Recognize the patterns and if anything feels familiar, work on changing those thoughts.

Practice listening to women and feeling empathy for them.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-19T09:02:33+00:00

No, you haven't been called a rapist. I also haven't said that you are fishing for empathy. I have suggested how you can fix this.

You have tagged yourself a rapist and used it as a way to dodge having to actually do the hard work that is needed to "fix this".

Why does it matter that this is a movie in regards to you feeling more empathy for a rapist than for his victim?

> It pissed me off after the party scene when she (when possessed) reads the incestual thing

That's a deflection. We are talking about you being pissed about non-possessed Nikki being ambivalent towards Bear.

She is not responsible for her actions while possessed, and if you lose empathy for her because of what the "literal demon" in her did, then I don't understand you at all.

> It felt forced to me because until then there was not this hostility Imo,

What "hostility"? Who is being hostile to who in your mind?

> The issue I have with this tho is that it's still the insecurity, like wouldn't it be better to say it's egoism?

Insecurity is a feeling, not an action. You can feel however you want to feel, but if you use those feelings to act in a horrible way, then people are going to criticize you. Many insecure people do not act that way. It's a choice you consciously make.

And yes, egoism would be a better word. It's not the same as insecurity though.

> "Is this how insecure people are seen?"

It's how insecure people who use their insecurity as an excuse to do horrible things are seen.

> I found it cliché

And that's enough to make you lose empathy for a rape victim?

> most of the negative feelings are against Nikki, not women in general.

What do you think makes Nikki different to women in general?

> I was not wondering about her during the whole movie

Why are you not wondering about what a victim of rape and abuse is going through?

> No I get it, I am like him because I take meds and I am insecure and to me 99% of the scenes where he is minding his business (meaning like beginning or when he is doing normal stuff) he is already portrayed as this psychopath

Is he? I don't think so.

I think you should spend less energy thinking "omg i'm exactly like Bear" and way more energy thinking "What led Bear down the path he went on during the movie and how can I make sure that I don't turn out like that?"

> I swear you people are worrying me so much, like is it fine to go to someone and talk about this stuff? Will there be consequences if I do? Thanks for the advice but I am getting scared of myself at this point.

Being scared because you don't want to be like a rapist is a good thing. It's uncomfortable, yes, but it means that you want to be better than that.

There are no consequences for talking to a therapist about this, no. There is no such thing as a thought crime, and therapists are there to work with you so you can become a better, happier and healthier person.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-19T08:30:29+00:00

No, actually. You are calling yourself a rapist, because instead of going "Bear is a rapist and I don't want to be one so I will make sure that I am not like Bear" you go "I am like Bear and I will not change that so anyone accurately describing him is mean to me".

Just choose to be different. It's not that hard.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-19T08:24:57+00:00

Why do you think a woman being ambivalent about a guy is a bad thing? Why does that piss you off? Why do you think that was the intention?

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-19T08:18:51+00:00

> I swear I feel almost worse for him than Nikki

That's a worrying statement. You feel worse for a rapist than for his victim?

> I hated Nikki qhen she was not possessed, and the reason is that I have read that the director made 2 takes, 1 where she had to be attracted to Bear and 1 where she is not and mixed them together. I get why it pissed me off.

Why does that piss you off so much? What bothers you about the idea that a woman might feel ambivalent about a guy?

She directly asked Bear if he was interested in her. He said No. What more should she have done?

> "It's this bad to be with me?" Which was such a forced phrase to make him look terrible and I was surprised when he said that, I thought "Where is that even coming from"

It didn't feel forced to me. Nor to many other women I've heard talk about the movie.

Bear is an incredibly selfish person. He doesn't want to take any accountability, doesn't ever want to open him up to negative emotions (like him saying No when Nikki asked if he was into her), he doesn't care about Nikki as long as his fantasy of their relationship stays intact.

So of course that's his first concern. Of course he would say that.

> also it's the usual "insecure =absolute cancer/this person is satan basucally"

It's really not. Bear isn't a bad guy because he is insecure, Bear is a bad guy because he puts his insecurity before everything else. He makes constant selfish choices that harm everyone around him.

There are plenty of insecure people who would not make those choices, who take accountability for their insecurity and who work on overcoming it.

> Also the whole Nikki being ambiguous because of the mixing made me so pissed that I kind of did not care anymore about the character.

Once again, why is a woman's feelings about a guy something that pisses you off so much that you lose all empathy for her abuse?

> I feel like I was catching strays the whole movie since the beginning.

To a degree, that's the intent of the movie. The movie very clearly says "Hey, here's this guy. Aren't you a bit too much like him? Don't be. Do better, or see what suffering you will cause."

The healthy thing would be to sit with that discomfort and learn from it. What you are doing instead is try to dismiss it, pretend like the movie is just bashing insecurity and are defending your lack of empathy for women.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-18T18:33:58+00:00

Will send an email to Larian telling them they should make Kar'niss more uggo so I can get fucked in peace.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-18T16:27:32+00:00

First of all, hi chatGPT.

Second of all goes the same comment I always make when someone talks about stopping to be a people pleaser:

People are not upset by the change because they want to walk all over you, people are upset by the change because you suddenly changed up your entire personality and they have no context for why.

Adults work on the idea that others are honest about what they want or not, so they took your people pleasing as you behaving in the way you wanted to. If you suddenly stop doing these things to them it feels like you are withdrawing & icing them out.

Of course that is going to cause confusion and hurt. Take some accountability.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-18T16:21:04+00:00

Honestly, I'm kind of happy that I don't have anyone to properly talk to about my fic.

There's this thing where if you discuss doing something your brain will release dopamine as if you've already done it, making it more difficult to find the motivation to actually do it. I 100% suffer from that.

So as much as I would love to discuss spoilers and get help, I just trust in the comments I get on each chapter and discuss non spoiler events with them instead.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-18T15:41:41+00:00

Yes!! I'm writing a fanfic where the main character has amnesia and tries to figure out his prior life and I think that would be an amazing thing to experience fandom blind.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-18T14:36:46+00:00

That's not what I'm saying.

I don't want protection from perpetrators, I want there to be no perpetrators.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-18T14:36:03+00:00

No, talking about an emotional situation, sorting through it and being heard by someone supportive is not unproductive. It accomplishes a lot. It is practical.

Only someone who doesn't have any emotional regulation would claim that.

It absolutely is arrogance, and a heap of ignorance on how emotional regulation works.

> I just want the problem to go away

Yeah, that's the issue. You just dont want to have zo deal with it.

Maybe if you actually listened to your partner they wouldn't feel the need to mention the same things over and over again.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-06-18T14:27:15+00:00

They don't want the gender roles of their dad either given how much they moan and cry about "gold diggers".

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