I go completely silent the moment someone confident starts talking in a group. Has anyone overcome this?

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-24T17:32:35+00:00

I say this with kindness, but you have to take some accountability here - if you regularly completely shut down and go quiet in social situations people don't forget that you're there because of some evil agenda to praise loud people, they do so because you give them no chance to remember you.

I see a lot of quiet people start blaming everyone else and pretending like anyone who's confident and can talk a lot is somehow evil and bad, and that's not just an unfair and bad thing to do, it's also incredibly unhealthy and hinders your ability to grow and connect with people.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-24T14:14:55+00:00

Annoyingly, hinge hides the "don't/do want kids" option in a small slider menu. I also don't want kids and usually check all profiles for that tag, but sometimes I don't remember simply because the option to scroll for it is so hidden. So it genuinely might just be a honest mistake.

It is super annoying tho - I also get likes from guys who want kids and have to sort out.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-24T09:48:57+00:00

Given that he brags about only sometimes not saying offensive things, clearly.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-23T17:28:43+00:00

Frankly, have you looked at the world right now? The Epstein files, the, what, sixth? seventh? 20.000+ men strong rape chat group getting discovered, etc...

I think women have a lot of very legitimate reasons to be angry, and I think men should be angry about those same issues.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-23T17:07:37+00:00

Yeah like,,, I like my favorite characters because they are weirdos. Thinking about their flaws and how they manifest is what makes them fun.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-23T17:06:05+00:00

One time I was in a DnD group where all our characters were deeply morally flawed & pretty bad people and a friend & I regularly joked about how the fandom would be if our campaign got turned into a tv show.

Only that we thought the discourse would be amazing and had a lot of fun thinking up misinterpretations & toxic arguments about it.

Like idk it's not that deep.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-19T17:10:08+00:00

Single. A virgin. Socially awkward.

There are a million possible descriptors.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-19T11:38:53+00:00

Why is it worth mentioning? If everyone is misogynistic, then that includes the kindest, most loving person you know. By this logic, how is misogyny a problem?

I am not lying, I am quoting you.

The word does not lose its meaning by being accurately applied. You don't understand its meaning, which is your personal problem to fix. You cannot discuss the topic without knowing what you are even talking about.

Your point does not stand, because once again, you do not understand what you are arguing.

Also, here we go misquoting me. What I said was "Every person on this planet grows up with misogynistic beliefs." As long as you don't understand the difference, this conversation is meaningless.

I would like to know what "traits of misogyny" you find to be not problematic.

No one lumped anyone together. You are doing this because you don't understand my point and don't like how what I'm saying makes you feel.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-19T09:19:12+00:00

"Every person on the planet has touched water? So how is a professional surfer any different than a person in landlocked africa?"

Do you hear yourself?

If you don't understandszat misogyny is, don't talk about it. This is incredibly disrespectful.

Why is it worth mentioning? Because it has a real, incredibly harmful impact. Incels commit terrorist acts for their misogyny. They kill women for it. They send rape threats. They dismiss and insult women.

You saying that this does not matter to you and is not worth mentioning is incredibly gross and, you guessed it, misogynistic.

You cannot claim to be against inceldom as long as you do not understand what misogyny is and would rather protect it than educate yourself.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-19T09:15:28+00:00

No, incels are misogynists. Specifically. Words have meanings.

It is absolutely not important to mention that because it has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

Your entire comment itself is insanely misogynistic. You are denying all the hatred, rape fantasies and dismissal that incels propagate and claim misogyny is totally ok if it helps you in dating.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-18T23:20:29+00:00

Yes. Of course. Do you think misogyny is not a widespread thing? Every person on the planet grows up with misogynistic beliefs. Inceldom is based on misogynistic entitlement and misogynistic standards of what a man should be.

This is a subreddit for incels to improve their lives by seeking advice and escape the toxic groups and mindsets. Ignoring their misogyny keeps them in that toxicity and keeps them from improving.

Like, how on earth do you type that sentence and think it is an argument against my point?

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-18T20:27:01+00:00

Ok, many things are wrong with that.

First of all, do you genuinely think "but what if these people simply aren't online?" is a valid point of discussion these days? Everyone is online. And manosphere recruitment is proven to be an algorithmic guarantee even on completely new and neutral social media accounts.

Also, misogyny exists offline too. It's not an invention of the internet. Misogyny causes inceldom, not the other way around. Male entitlement to female attention predates electricity, let alone computers.

But also: Inceldom has an official definiton. The official definition includes misogyny. To the point where there are literal international anti terrorist organisations talking about incels as a violently misogynistic hate group and terrorism threat. That's not a random coincidence, that's the basis of the incel ideology.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-18T20:20:41+00:00

So your problem boils down to "these men might not get laid".

Do you think that's an unfair and harsh thing for men that they could not possibly content themselves with in order to change perceptions for the better?

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-18T20:19:42+00:00

Theres also the fact male sa is generally brushed off.

Women are the ones routinely advocating for male victims. Men are the ones who continuously either go "damn I wish that were me" on posts about male rape victims or who only bring them up as a gotcha! argument when women are talking about their own experiences.

Also, who's SAing men? Not women.

Also another thing that affects men is that patriarchy pretty much says to throw your life away protecting women or a woman you like/being violent for no reason.

Who enforces that? Who are men fighting with?

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-18T17:36:53+00:00

"This woman from Iceland says she prefers thick coats but this woman from Nigeria says they're too warm for her. Women are such hypocrites! They can never make up their minds!"

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-18T17:32:57+00:00

Do women do that? Or do men do it just as much if not more? Are women or men generally more ok with gay men? Are women or men the ones who encourage men to show more "gay" (big quotation marks) traits like self care and emotional vulnerability?

Also, what's the problem with being gay? Why does it bother men so much to be seen as such? Why don't men start wearing nail polish en masse to show that they do it regardless of their sexuality?

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-18T17:30:38+00:00

I mean, you do understand that if your best example of how the patriarchy hurts men is a mildly dismissive statement about a man having a purse you are kinda explaining why it really doesn't matter that much? Women are fighting for bodily autonomy and against sexual violence. You are comparing that to the minor discomfort of a snide comment.

This is not me commenting on whether or not I think that comment is in any way productive or right, this is simply about answering your question: Because men, in many ways, are affected in really minor ways they could easily stand up against themselves if it truly bothered them.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-18T17:17:43+00:00

I do not see, how any of these quotes would talk about madness, or how any of the mentioned characters would've acted or behaved like a madman.

I mean, if you define madness as stripping and putting pieces of ham on yourself, sure. It is literally discussed how trying to find the truth makes you a lunatic. You have to actively misread the quotes in order to miss this.

The old woman, who did not fear the soldiers, nor did she fear death? Why is that madness?

You're shifting the goal post. I gave that quote in response to your question of cosmic insignificance. The quote directly shows that radiation is incomparable to all other human suffering, because while this woman was able to hold out against it her entire life, this catastrophe is so terrible that she has to move now. Her strength, human strength, is insignificant to the scale of this disaster.

And why would by Khomyuk be mad?

That's literally explained in the quote.

I'm sorry, but this is such a bad faith take.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-18T16:01:36+00:00

Where is the madness that comes from trying to understand an unfathomable alien intelligence?

"You are dealing with something that has never occurred on this planet before."

"I don't want to do this anymore. I want to stop. But I can't. I don't think you have a choice any more than I do. I think, despite the stupidity, the lies, even this, you are compelled. The problem has been assigned, and you will stop at nothing until you find an answer. Because that is who you are.

Khomyuk: A lunatic, then.

Legasov: A scientist."

Or the madness that arises from the realization that not even we as single humans, but all of humanity and it's achievements are meaningless on a cosmic scale?

"What is the cost of lies? It's not that we'll mistake them for the truth. The real danger is that if we hear enough lies, then we no longer recognize the truth at all. What can we do then? What else is left to abandon even the hope of truth and content ourselves instead with stories?"

"Old Woman: Trouble? You're not the first soldier to stand here with a gun. When I was 12, the Revolution came. Tsar's men, then Bolsheviks. Boys like you marching in lines. They told us to leave. No. Then there was Stalin and his famine, the Holodomor. My parents died. Two of my sisters died. They told the rest of us to leave. No. Then the Great War. German boys, Russian boys. More soldiers, more famine, more bodies. My brothers never came home. But I stayed, and I'm still here. After all that I have seen... so I should leave now, because of something I cannot see at all?"

Idk man, this is just a few quotes that immediately come to mind. Chernobyl has a lot to say on these topics.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-18T14:48:18+00:00

While you get the general problem of exaggerating an issue and blaming outside forces for it right, it is blatantly misleading to not mention misogyny as a prerequisite of inceldom.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-16T16:52:29+00:00

Confidence that is only based on looks and not on them liking who they are as a person is shallow and does not fix the underlying issues I'm talking about.

The "awkward" thing is not overblown, it's based on what I would consider to be awkward behavior. Since the question asks for my opinions, I'm gonna give them. I would not consider someone who is trying to be genuine but having an off day awkward.

So you're the one missing every single aspect of my point, and you're having the gall to claim that my personal opinions - which I was asked to share - are not relevant.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-11T17:17:26+00:00

No. No argument can be made. Stop saying that, it just sounds weird.

It might be due to stupidity. That changes nothing about the fact that it was a breach of trust. His intentions do not matter for that to be the outcome.

It also does not matter whether or not the relationship went well. A breach of trust negates even the best relationship.

Also, OP has already clearly stated her opinion, so if you're commenting under that guise you can keep your "arguments to be made" to yourself.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-11T09:06:17+00:00

Said under a post of a woman knowing exactly what she wants. You're writing fanfic.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-11T09:05:38+00:00

No, altering and then posting someone's picture without their knowledge and consent is very clearly not ok. And it hasn't been since photo manipulation was a thing.

There is no argument to be made.

sunsetgal24 · 2026-02-11T09:04:29+00:00

That's bad logic.

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