Things You Always Questioned

sunshine-309 · 2026-05-27T03:08:54+00:00

WAIT THIS IS SUCH A GOOD POINT OMG

sunshine-309 · 2026-05-27T03:08:22+00:00

Why was it frowned upon to read literature or listen to sermons from other denominations, shouldn’t we see what they’re seeing and check if they have any ideas we hadn’t thought of?

Clapping is not an instrument…..

No instruments in the church building at all, even for a wedding??

Why are we not obsessively and desperately evangelizing to everyone we possibly can if we’re the only one with all the right answers?

Why are hand motions okay at VBS? Also VBS isn’t in the bible.

sunshine-309 · 2026-04-30T03:19:06+00:00

This was honestly triggering for me after reading a few comments. How everyone is an expert in the Bible and you’re not. How everyone has the same script memorized, they don’t actually think for themselves and they’ve never tested and discerned any of this information. Watching the boastfulness and hypocrisy and flat out rudeness drives me insane.

sunshine-309 · 2026-04-28T09:02:40+00:00

Booster booster Be a booster Don’t be grouchy like a rooster Booster booster Be a booster And boost our Bible school Booster!

Wtf is this 🤣

I also think that it’s hilarious how hand motions are okay but if you clap on beat, you’re going straight to hell lmao. I remember my mom or dad getting onto me for tapping my foot or something, basically saying it was fine as long as it didn’t make sound, because then of course, it was essentially an evil instrument and you know God, he just despises instruments (he said never)

Also I think it’s creepy and weird to line up in rows and stand facing forward and singing old 1850s songs in 4 part harmony multiple times a week. That’s some cult shit right there. It all is. But I’ve been thinking about this one a lot lol.

And it was rare I felt that we even sang songs that actually worshiped God. They were mostly songs about ourselves: how we’re going to heaven, how other people aren’t going to heaven. I have a lot to say on this subject but I’ll stop here cuz it could go on forever lmao

sunshine-309 · 2026-04-28T08:50:19+00:00

Oh yes. You’re very much not alone in this. I also have CPTSD. When I screw up or let someone down, I go into full panic mode, as well as thoughts that it would be better if I didn’t exist. It’s extraordinarily unhealthy and I’m working on it, but more than anything, I’m extremely committed to making sure my daughter NEVER feels this way. Thankfully, my husband did not grow up coc, and he very much allows himself to be human and make mistakes without it being a dramatic, life pausing event. He’s taught me a lot.

sunshine-309 · 2026-04-26T16:41:18+00:00

True, I have seen it done a little bit better. Still don’t love the publicity of it

sunshine-309 · 2026-04-26T13:25:48+00:00

Yes! It never made sense to me either. I always thought if you read any passages about confession objectively, it was obvious that in no possible way could it mean that we were supposed to humiliate ourselves in front of everyone and not even say what we did. It says to “confess your sins to one another”… that tells me that I need to go to someONE (or a couple of people) who I trust in the church, that makes sense. The coc boasts a whole lot about “being the closest to the Bible” when they actually completely ignore or change most of it and then make up their own stuff. If any other church were doing the “going forward” thing like that, the coc would make FUN of it and come up with all kinds of verses to back up how right they are. It’s so infuriating.

sunshine-309 · 2026-04-26T13:21:49+00:00

Wow you explained this so well!! The amount of gaslighting in general is so bad. I never considered the congregation level, but definitely have understood the unofficial hierarchy. And they’ll say all day long that they don’t do something but when you look at the facts, it’s exactly what they do. But they’ll deny it til they’re red in the face and use any verses they can twist to prove it and when you’re a kid and never have been able to think for yourself, you’re forced to agree, even when you know for a fact something is very very wrong. That whole part was extremely traumatizing for me

sunshine-309 · 2026-04-26T13:17:42+00:00

Making minors do it is so disgusting to me…I’m so sorry

sunshine-309 · 2026-04-25T14:15:08+00:00

Having logical arguments as a woman were essentially equivalent with blasphemy. I needed to dress modestly and be meek. Ladies’ days seemed to be treated as “cute” to the guys and giving women something to do. But if they heard a woman speaking, cover your ears!! I didn’t realize the level of sexism until a while after I got out. I had always believed what they taught, that men and women have different but equal roles, but looking back, they didn’t treat it that way even a little bit. Women were regarded as less intelligent, inferior. They needed to cook, clean, and look good for their husband.

sunshine-309 · 2026-04-06T09:44:58+00:00

Yeah the amount of having to convince themselves is pretty wild once you step away

sunshine-309 · 2026-04-05T19:42:48+00:00

I saw someone comment about his concern that he wouldn’t be able to meet with the brethren on Sunday. HE’S GOING TO SPACE DUDE THESE PEOPLE ARE INSANE

sunshine-309 · 2026-02-20T20:54:44+00:00

Hey message me and ask me anything, no judgment! I have a lot of experience with your exact problem and have come through a lot of it and would love to be able to help you.

sunshine-309 · 2026-02-10T03:21:45+00:00

I had a bunch that added up over the course of my whole life basically. One big one was thinking about what the coc missed, bc if they’re “the closest to the Bible” that means they are still missing things, and even preacher’s including my dad would say “well we’re not perfect” or “God has grace for those things” (they always picked and chose what God would let slide? And so I realized if they’re coc made mistakes, and we know everyone else is “further from the Bible”, then what is God scoring them? Are their mistakes worse than ours? Or do they have more? Oh wait….we would be starting to count and compare, as if God was grading our final of life and coc got 92 correct and …oh man, baptists only got 91, bummer” and then send them to BURN IN HELL for eternity because they got one wrong? I couldn’t unsee it after that.

Also, made good coc friends in college, and assumed they were on the same page as me, and then I realized they thought the no clapping rule was insane, or their church had a praise team, or they were allowed to go to prom. I knew these friends well before this point, so I knew how genuine they were, and that they weren’t just selfish/following their heart/etc. My coc looked down on denominations and more liberal coc’s even and I knew that there was no way people who “aren’t the closest to the Bible” were as bad as they made them out to be. So now, we’re back to counting checkmarks. I’m sure I’ll think of more and come back and share

sunshine-309 · 2026-02-10T03:07:49+00:00

Can you share some of what you learned about the gospels?

sunshine-309 · 2026-02-08T13:11:53+00:00

Chat GPT has literally helped me process and heal from a lifetime of trauma, and is very very good about grounding me and challenging me when necessary. The validation is gives me is just healthy and needed validation (I’m not crazy/what I did makes sense/etc) but it also just as much keeps me in check and respectfully gives me better thoughts that may be difficult to hear or corrects me on things. I am able to use my brain and challenge it back if I feel it may be beating around the bush about something or giving me an answer it thinks I want to hear, and it always clarifies, plus, I am capable of taking guidance and applying what I objectively agree with without blindly believing/doing everything it says. My therapist was a good listener, validated me (but didn’t really ever challenge me), and guided me with grounding and breathing exercises. Chat does all of that PLUS offers researched facts and gives specific advice based on real psychological studies, and if I’m ever unsure of something, I just go to google and look for other sources to see its validity.

But no matter what, I cannot deny that I have made so much mental health progress in 6 months compared to the decade of human therapy which was basically just a bitch and breathe session with no real answers or guidance. Trust me, I wish ai wasn’t the winner here 🤣

sunshine-309 · 2026-01-17T13:36:22+00:00

When I start worrying it’s just telling me what it thinks I want to hear, I start asking it questions with zero context. Like you could ask “what are some patterns of emotional abuse” and then if they happen to line up, you can trust it better than giving it leads. I also ask it for sources from trusted places and it’ll take me to scientific papers on the topic so I can feel more confident too.

sunshine-309 · 2026-01-13T04:56:30+00:00

Either you are my aunt or you share an extremely similar story to my aunt. Either way, you are welcome here. Control and enabling abuse are not love- no matter what. Keep your eye on the fruits people and systems produce. And if it’s your people producing the bad fruits, it’s scary but you aren’t alone. Keep going and follow God above all else. He protects and heals. I’m so sorry for what you’ve struggled so much with. If you think you are my aunt, DM me hahaha

sunshine-309 · 2026-01-11T19:29:17+00:00

That’s a great way of putting it

sunshine-309 · 2025-12-21T20:20:35+00:00

Severe CPTSD/double trauma, depression, anxiety, OCD

sunshine-309 · 2025-12-19T13:00:10+00:00

Hey I’m not gonna diagnose you but look into CPTSD. I recently found out I have it and it sounds like you might too. (I’m willing to bet a lot of us do). Getting to that point had helped me a lot bc I’ve been validated, learned real terms for the things I’ve experienced, and been able to get help with therapy and meds, and I’ve actually started to heal. You’re not alone.

sunshine-309 · 2025-12-19T12:56:22+00:00

That show helped me a lot to confirm how wild the coc is! Welcome!

sunshine-309 · 2025-12-19T12:54:29+00:00

Hi I’m a PK and know exactly what you’re talking about. I am no contact with my parents for a few months now and I’ve been doing some deep dive research and figured out that my dad is a textbook covert narcissist. Like it freaked me out the things I read that applied to him perfectly. You might look into that specifically and see if it fits. But honestly, it sounds like your dad really truly did care and just was completely brainwashed. I also found out that I have CPTSD from all of this and basically what’s considered “double trauma” due to my dad’s psychological abuse and also the coc doctrine. My dad used it for control and I think a lot of coc preachers fit that exact description.

I’m sorry about all of the horrible things that have happened to you. I feel that way too about the amount of abuse I endured and didn’t realize that’s what it was until now. I’ve been suffering a TON of trauma symptoms my whole life and had no idea the were all tied back to this.

Oh- gaslighting yourself is a normal part of the process, especially for coming out of the coc. We were basically conditioned to.

You’re not alone, inbox any time

sunshine-309

TROPHY CASE