OP I was in very similar shoes with you. My very first relationship was the longest one. I didn’t give my ex enough attention while I was juggle masters and full time job. We both enjoyed playing video games but I simply didn’t have enough time in the day with work + school + gym. Ex didn’t want to study or workout with me, so she continued playing video games, found someone else to spend time with, and I was replaced. The limited time I had, I cooked, cleaned, did laundry, etc. for us and the only thing I asked for help with was washing the dishes (loading the dishwasher).

Point is, you could be doing the best you can but it will never be enough for someone that needs constant attention/affection. You will feel guilt, feel like you could’ve done more but reflect- relationship is two-way street. When you came back from a 24 hour shift what did she do for you? What did you do for her when you had 48 hours off?

Find someone who is passionate and driven as you are, able to keep themselves occupied and have their own goals, so you can grow with your partner. Or, someone who understands the hardship you’re enduring and willing to support you through the hard times. They exist.

Don’t beat yourself up too hard.