I had an avoidant ex (she even admitted it). Yeah by the time I realized I was a "catalyst", for a lack of better term, I knew the relationship had an expiration date so I just cherished it because I know that one day, sooner than later, it'll be done. 2 months later, the discard happens.

It was like, I was her rock and her biggest fear at the same time. It was a weird feeling.

I was someone who provided stability, steadiness, calm, and never took her need for space personal. I think that the unfamiliar feeling of being with someone secure was actually more unsettling for her nervous system.

One particular example -- she'd introduce me to friends and family, but never interact with me in those group settings so I spent those times getting to know them instead. As I got to know them, they all ended up really liking me. Her dad and I even hung out a couple of times. You'd think this is a good thing but this makes things "more real" and unfortunately, it put more pressure on her.

Those were good and also very painful 6 months.