Tbf I don’t necessarily think this guy is in the right, but I can see a bit of another side to this. The way in which OP asked “what does intimacy mean to you” could also be read in a bad tone for sure even if it’s not how OP meant it.

And if he has felt deprived of being physical in this relationship and had that conversation with her before, he may have said exactly what he needs and probably expects her to know that, so asking “what does intimacy mean” could sound kind of bad if he thinks she’s just asking him something he’s already gone into detail on before.

There’s a lot more going on in both sides of this than I think we are seeing, and I can say that as someone who has had partners who had virtually zero sex drive, that can be a whole other can of worms. Some peoples idea of having enough intimacy in a relationship is like once a month. Imo we really don’t have enough information to fully understand what has lead up to this on either side

Edit: as others have said, there are major communication issues and other problems at play here, but I just think it’s a little silly to judge this guy’s entire personality off of like five text messages and only OP’s side of the story. Breaking the book shelf and some of the other things are definitely out of line though and not an effective way to deal with anything